ACFR: Against Careless and Fragmented Reviews

ADH III: Autopsy

2009-04-13T18:26:00.009-05:00

I'm behind schedule. Herein lies the review for Autopsy, an After Dark Horrorfest III film.

Autopsy begins with five twentysomethings partying together during Mardi Gras. After enjoying themselves for most of the day the group decides to drive back to their motel, or to another bar, or to another city. It's all vague and blurry in my mind. (This movie sucked hardcore. I'm pretty sure my brain is just defending itself by trying to erase the memories).

Emily (the heroine of our tragic tale) takes the wheel and then promptly proceeds to get in an accident. Was it because of the copious amounts of alcohol she consumed or was it because her boyfriend Bobby distracted her? The world may never know. Of the five potential victims only two are female and both immediately start bawling. They have to be hugged and coddled by two of the menfolk. It was kind of nauseating.

While they're being comforted Jude (the requisite asshole of the bunch) decides to pee against the side of the totaled vehicle. Suddenly, a hand reaches out from below the car! Oh no! Emily inadvertently hit an old man! He's still alive! Here's a thought to ponder: how is it possible to hit a person and not realize it?

Various shenanigans ensue, then an ambulance shows up to take the old man to Mercy Hospital. The EMT's are tattooed and intimidating yet somehow manage to cajole the group into coming to the hospital for a routine checkup to make sure everyone's fine.

When the college students enter the hospital they're greeted by a scary nurse and told they all have to be looked over by the doctor. She then states there is only one physician currently on staff and everyone has to stay in the waiting area unless called. Bathroom breaks(!) and wandering around are not permitted.

The movie continues about how you'd expect. Nobody stays in a group and one by one the five unfortunate partiers disappear and/or are gorily executed. The evil doctor has Frankensteinein aspirations and is using body parts from his victims to keep his ailing and ugly wife alive. Pretty standard horror hospital fare.

Now, you may be reading this review and saying, "That sounds like bloody good fun! The plot might be standard but that doesn't mean the execution will be boring!" Sadly, you'd be wrong. This movie was a waste of time. I could forgive the painful one-liners, bad acting, and predictable punchline. What I can't forgive is the sheer amount of stupid inconsistencies this film had.

Mercy Hospital was a gigantic, sprawling building with only four employees; the nurse, the doctor, and the two EMT/orderlies. None of the dumb twentysomethings questioned this. They were placated with the flimsy explanation "only a skeleton crew is available after Katrina". Whatever. There were whole floors with no nurses or janitorial crew of any kind. Who would believe a cockamamie story like that?

The hospital appeared at first glance to be bright and welcoming. The viewer finds out later Mercy was decommisioned and is supposed to be empty. Who the hell is paying that enormous electricity bill? Wouldn't someone start to question why a supposedly vacant building was lit up like Christmas? There was also a gigantic storeroom filled with drugs and other medical supplies. I doubt the doctor bought them all; is the audience truly supposed to believe the pills were just left there to rot?

At one point Emily (who is slightly smarter than her peers but not by much) becomes suspicious and begins exploring the hospital. Patients are left to wander around at random and one gives Emily a spooky warning. As mentioned above, the doctor is killing people to keep his wife alive. So what's up with all the patients? Shouldn't they be dead with their organs safely put on ice? Is the doc saving them for later like a deranged spider?

Emily even manages to call 911 and a police cruiser comes by to check it out. One would think the cops would have looked up the hospital she mentioned and realized "Hey! It's decommisioned! WTF?" No, that's giving everyone in this movie too much credit. The officer does mention he thought the place was closed; however he is easily placated by the skeevy bleeding EMT. I have no words for how dumb people are in this film.

Oh well. Autopsy did have some interesting and gory death scenes. They weren't all great; this is definitely a glass-is-half-empty kind of movie. Emily's ill-fated boyfriend has ALL his organs outside the body yet he will not die. The organs are held up by slings in a circle around the poor dude for no discernable medical reason. Maybe a scriptwriter (I use that term loosely) though it looked cool...? They were so very wrong.

I usually end my negative reviews by mentioning a few positives just so y'all don't think I'm being overly harsh. Here goes. Even though Emily was kind of an idiot I rooted for her. Most of her friends' deaths were brutal and I felt sorry for them. Ummm, maybe if a person turns off their logic brain the movie isn't that bad? I got nothin'.

Two disappointed thumbs-down!

-- amber t

ADH III: Slaughter

2009-04-07T19:51:00.009-05:00

In 2007 Adela and I bought passes to After Dark Horrofest II and proceeded to watch all eight of the featured movies in the theatre. Most were very, very bad. We still managed to enjoy ourselves by mocking the majority of the films, smuggling in booze, and talking with other horror fans between showtimes. When After Dark Horrorfest III was announced in January 2009 I wanted to attend again.

In a travesty of justice no passes were sold this year and I actually would have had to leave the state to watch bad movies. This made me sad for longer than I like to admit until I moved on with my life. The eight films were released on dvd March 31st and I promptly rented them all.

Throughout the next week I will be posting mini-reviews of each film. As with After Dark Horrorfest II there were a bunch of bad movies. Surprisingly enough, there were also good ones.

Let's start with one of the best: Slaughter, which was was "inspired by true events".

Slaughter begins with Faith. Faith is pulling a runner by moving to an undisclosed city to get away from her possessive and abusive boyfriend. She's one of the walking wounded who just wants to start over.

On her first night in a new city Faith's best friend takes her clubbing. There Faith meets Lola. The two become fast friends despite their obvious personality differences (Faith's quiet, Lola's not, Faith's only had one boyfriend, Lola's has many "boyfriends", etc). When Faith's ex leaves a threatening message on her phone she decides to move in with her newfound friend.

Here's where things start to get a little strange. Lola lives on a farm with her father and two brothers. She doesn't reside in the main house and has been relegated to the barn for an undisclosed reason. Lola casually tells Faith as long as her chores are done her daddy doesn't put up too much of a fuss about the gentleman callers she bring home.

Things seem fine for awhile...except there's a slaughterhouse Faith isn't allowed to explore. Nobody except Lola and her little brother Cord are friendly. The pigs are being fed mystery meat. And Cord mentioned his mother killed herself because of something his daddy did...

Slaughter felt like an old-fashioned Southern gothic tale with incest, family secrets, and random murders throughout. The storyline was interesting and both Faith and Lola were incredibly likeable characters. While I would have preferred another ending the one given was powerful and unexpected. Two thumbs up!

amber t

Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles: Ourselves, Alone

2009-03-07T17:48:00.003-06:00

by: Adela P.

After last week's less-than-mediocre episode of T:SCC, I was fervently hoping that this week's would rise above, and INDEED it did. As much as I hate character death, I love character death. And the plot and character development that will inevitably result from this paves the way for some very interesting future episodes--I've been waiting for awhile for a good T:SCC character death and I'm both saddened and excited that the day has finally arrived. In retrospect, Riley's death in this episode was not a surprise--and indeed, has been expected for quite some time, now. The attention given to her tenuous emotional state has only been growing more ostentatious with every appearance she's made.

The episode begins with Cameron watching a bird fly about in the house. She says to it, "You shouldn't nest in the chimney. You're migratory, you need to find a mate. That's a window, bird. What am I going to do with you?" She captures the bird and brings it outside, and continues her monologue, "A bird in a chimney is a fire hazard. I'm not supposed to kill you. You can't stay here. Go." Instead of releasing the bird, however, she accidentally kills it, describing to John later, "The bird experienced an involuntary movement of my fingers."

Upon my first viewing of this episode, the bird reminded me of Riley, and specifically the scene from "Strange Things Happen at the One Two Point" in which Riley was looking at a poster she had on the wall of a bear catching a fish. She explains to John, "It's not a poster of a bear. It's a poster of a fish being caught by a bear. Just swiped out of the water, totally at random. Do the other fish even care? Do they even notice? No. They just keep swimming like nothing happened. 'Cause nothing important did." Riley is identifying with the bear's prey--she feels helpless and insignificant. The bird is yet another visual representation of Riley's internal struggle, and also a foreshadowing of the events that will occur. When Cameron and Riley are later alone together, Cameron says to her, "You don't belong here. John isn't right for you and you're not right for him. He can't see that . . . . You're unreliable. I don't know what you do . . . . You can't be John's girlfriend, you're a threat. You can't stay here anymore. But I can't let you leave . . . . What am I going to do with you?" Riley has no power in this situation, nor does she have the power to escape Cameron--physically or mentally.

Following the initial scene in which Cameron inadvertently kills the bird, Riley pays a visit to the house, and finds Sarah cleaning the floor. Riley leaves to find more cleaning solution for Sarah, and ponders the following label on the bottle: "Caution: Deadly to humans and domestic animals." The way that Riley is staring transfixed at the label shows her conflicted state. What is she, and what is her ultimate purpose? There is no perceivable difference between her and an animal-- she feels like the fish, she is the bird. She is consistently treated like an animal that can be easily manipulated, deceived, and persecuted. She feels like she has been disregarded and tossed aside over and over again. When she makes the hospital visit in this episode, the nurse ignores Riley, treating her as though she is an inconvenience. Unfortunately, it is clear that this is how Riley feels with many of the people around her, including Jessie and John, the two people she cares most about. Her feelings regarding Jessie and John are conflicted--both characters make her feel like she matters, but their vastly different motives are hard for her to figure in her convoluted emotional state.

When Cameron is speaking to Riley in the shed, John eventually comes in to diffuse the growing tension between them. He says, "Riley, come with me" and she immediately acquiesces, clearly relieved that John is coming to retrieve her. Despite the fact that it is obviously not his intention, John is treating Riley just as Jessie does. He tells her what to do and expects her to obey, and she does because she's never known anything else. Her whole life she's been nothing but a pawn, a piece to a game, used for tactic and exploitation, and ultimately expendable.

Just before leaving John's house for the last time, Riley and John hold this conversation:

John: Riley, is there anything you wanna tell me?
Riley: About what?
John: About anything. Is there anything you wanna tell me?
Riley: John-
John: Because today is the day. Today is the day that you tell me whatever it is that you might wanna tell me. Today.
[Long pause.]
Riley: No. But is there anything that you wanna tell me? John? 'Cause you're right. I think today is the day.
John: No.

And this is the point where I think Riley makes a decision, the decision that she no longer will be everyone else's pawn. She leaves John's house to confront Jessie--and I don't believe Riley has any intention of making it out of this confrontation alive.

Riley: You wanted him to care about me.
Jessie: Of course.
Riley: To like me.
Jessie: Of course.
Riley: Even to love me.
Jessie: Of course sweetie. We talked about it a thousand times. That was the plan.
Riley: But that wasn't enough right? And you knew it wasn't enough. she's supposed to kill me right? That's it, that's the real plan . . . . You knew that was the only thing that would turn John against her. She's supposed to kill me . . . . You called my foster parents. You called my school. How could you do that to me? I trusted you. I loved you.

Riley's words make it clear just how fragile she has become, or perhaps always has been. She says "my" foster parents and "my" school--indicating that though her attachment to John may have simply been a job at first, it certainly has extended far past those parameters. She loves Jessie, is probably in love with Jessie, and clearly wanted nothing more than to please her mentor. But Riley grew to love the life she lived, which made Jessie's betrayal burn all the more. Though Riley could have just attempted to kill herself again, now there is another motive--she wants to hurt as much as she wants to be hurt, wants to strike out as much as she wants to be put down. When Jessie fires the killing bullet into her chest, Riley's face falls into a look of relieved resignation. As the camera pans over her fallen body, there is a slight upward curving to her lips that makes it appear as though she's smiling in death.

John will clearly suspect Cameron for Riley's death. Cameron's ambiguous attitudes towards death and the murder of both humans and animals in this episode ensure that suspicion will lie with her (albeit, deservedly, considering the circumstances). There is, however, one moment which makes me suspect that John will figure all is not as it seems. Cameron provides John with a swift and subtle means of disposing of her if it becomes necessary. And when he asks her outright if she acted against Riley in any way, she says, "You know I didn't." This exchange may cause him to hesitate laying blame with her when he learns of Riley's murder. At the end of the episode, he eyes the dead bird that Cameron killed cautiously, suspiciously, almost as if he's making the same connections that the viewer was supposed to. And although it's not clear what he will do with the information, Riley's death will serve the purpose it was meant to--suspicions will abound, resentments will flare, angst will ensue, and bitterness will settle into the hearts of our protagonists.

Dollhouse: The Target

2009-02-22T17:52:00.007-06:00

by: Adela P

I loved this episode. It's interesting, because out of the reviews that I read before the series premiered (from those lucky people who got to watch a few episodes way back in 2008), many people seemed to really dislike this episode. Well, I personally am hoping that the tone the writers established in this episode will be consistent throughout the rest of the season -- I was delighted by the plot, felt sympathy for Echo and her handler, and laughed out loud quite a few times. All in all, I was thoroughly entertained.

The episode begins quite cleverly. Adelle is explaining the way the Dollhouse works to a potential client, and her monologue is accompanied by eerie music and flashes to scenes of Echo on various exploits. She says:

"In their resting state, our actives are as innocent and vulnerable as children. We call it the tabula rasa, the blank slate. Now imagine the imprint process filling it, creating a new personality, a friend, a lover, a confidant in a sea of enemies. Your heart's desire made flesh. And, when the engagement has been completed all memory of you and your time together will be wiped clean."

I hope we continue to be privy to these client intakes in the future, as I expect they will be both informative and entertaining.

We learned much more about the Dollhouse and the characters in this episode via flashbacks. Flashbacks are a tricky business -- they must be used carefully so that they do not completely overtake the story and become boring. The writers implemented them quite successfully in this episode. The only problem I had with them was that I don't think they quite distinguished themselves enough from "real time." I can understand why one would want to refrain from those "three months earlier" overlays every time the scene flashes back, but I think something other than making the scene brighter needs to be done in order to establish it as not-happening-right-this-very-minute.

From the flashbacks we learn that Boyd came on board right after a doll, Alpha, went on a crazy killing spree. Three important things to take note of: 1) Alpha is the conglomeration of a bunch of personalities that were meant to be erased; 2) for some reason, Alpha didn't kill Echo; and 3) Alpha has fab assassination skills. Boyd is hired because, in Adelle's words, "In the light of recent events we've decided to engage individuals with a more, shall we say, intensive background. If you are amenable to the terms of your contract you will be assigned to Echo, one of our most requested actives." Apparently there's always been something different about Echo and it makes clients like her more -- perhaps she's always displayed more of a "personality" than the rest? The way Adelle spoke it seems that clients will request her more than once. Another question that Adelle's comment brings to mind -- what exactly are the terms of Boyd's contract?

The morally ambiguous Topher, who describes himself to Boyd as "the man behind the grey matter curtain," is my favorite character thus far. In one of the flashbacks to the Alpha Incident, the Dollhouse is invaded with big men toting guns, and Topher says, "Guns! Can I have one." They don't respond. He tells them what happened, they disperse, and he says, "Seriously? Gun?" Delivery on this line? Perfect.

When he's talking to Topher during Echo's excursion, Boyd expresses concern that Echo is "elevating toward redline." Topher tells Boyd she's fine, and that he's "been reading the squigglies long enough to discern the diff between excitement and Sweet-Mother-I'm-Gonna-Die." When Boyd mentions that his signal is bad, Topher responds, "You're in the middle of Why-Would-Anyone-Wanna-Be-There, what'd you expect, HBO?" Upon Boyd's insistence, Topher returns to the computer, but rather than using the stairs he instead prefers to climb over the railing. He tells Boyd, "Anything for you. Because I love you. Deep, deep man love."

Yes, Topher is most definitely my favorite character -- I love that he's hilarious and awkward and geeky and sort of evil all at the same time.

I like how Echo wasn't the absolute central part of the episode, because, as we know, she's not the absolute central part of the show. If she were, the show would have been named "Echo" instead of Dollhouse, right? That being said, I thought Echo's adventure in this episode was pretty amazing. I'm not ashamed to say that when it became clear Echo was her client's "prey," I burst into delighted laughter. I love psychopaths, I really do. Perhaps I should have been more disturbed or something, but I can't always help that I love me a good slasher movie. Richard seemed a little bit "off" from the get-go with some of his comments -- "If you can bring something down bigger than you with just this, you prove you deserve to eat it. It gets way, you prove it deserved to live, and you go hungry. Dad thought we all take too much for granted." As soon as it was clear he had Daddy Issues I was wondering when the big fall-out was going to happen, but I really wasn't expecting him to go all Battle Royale on her. Especially after all that "you're the perfect woman" business. Or maybe I just should have known. I loved Richard's delivery on this line: "You need to stop talking now. And start running. I'll give you a five minute head start. And then I'm coming after you."

I believed Eliza's acting moreso this week than last. I was sucked into this plot much more than I was the "kidnapped daughter" plot, and I felt that Echo's childlike persona was more believable. And Eliza definitely played the "happy girlfriend" turned "scared rabbit" turned "sexy badass" quite well -- I'm likely to expect a lot more greatness from Eliza in the coming weeks.

I was a little bit disappointed that Echo took time out of her precious five minutes to put on ALL of her clothing, though. Only because I think if I found myself in that situation, clothing would be the least of my worries. I probably would've taken the boots and the pants--only to prevent tree branch chafing, you understand. I certainly wouldn't have taken the time to put on both of those shirts. And for the record? Whoever's personality the Dollhouse imprinted Echo with definitely wouldn't have survived a horror movie. Drinking out of a random canteen instead of a tap? Haphazardly moving papers and objects around on the desk? Not too bright, although who knows what kind of neurological damage constantly imprinting and washing away personalities causes.

This brings to mind the question of the hour -- was it the stuff Richard put in the canteen that caused Echo to start remembering her past? It's clear that whatever happened is going to have some lasting repercussions, as Echo seems to still remember her past at the end of the episode. It also seems like she's able to pick up and retain some of the traits of the people around her.

I loved the process that binds Boyd to Echo as her handler:

Boyd: Everything's going to be alright.
Echo: Now that you're here.
Boyd: Do you trust me?
Echo: With my life.

It's obvious from Boyd's expression that he finds the whole exchange horribly trite, but in a way, it's the expression of love and devotion that every human longs to hear. In that way, it's sort of eerily beautiful. And it makes it all the more interesting later, when Echo's response to Boyd's "everything's going to be alright" is, "No, it isn't."

Throughout the episode, Boyd seems uncomfortable with the whole concept of "dolls," which makes me all the more curious about why he decided to join the Dollhouse in the first place. What part of his past could have been so horrible that he'd have to work for them? Despite his intentions to remain aloof, it's clear that Boyd begins to care for Echo. I anticipate that Boyd is going to be okay with Echo beginning to remember things, and may in fact be tempted to aid her in her desire to figure things out.

Dialogue I could have done without:
Boyd: She's just an empty hat until you stuff a rabbit in her.
Topher: Abracadabra.

Other than that minor glitch, I didn't have any other significant problems with the dialogue.

The only other thing I'll mention is that I love the Hulu marketing. Check out this ad if you didn't catch it last week:

Dollhouse: Ghost

2009-02-15T18:06:00.004-06:00

by Adela P.

The Dollhouse pilot episode seemed pretty different than the Buffy, Angel, and Firefly pilots. It was very approachable for a viewer who is unfamiliar with Whedon's work. The Dollhouse pilot is only an hour long, is structured in a way that gives the viewer some sort of "permanent" direction to look toward, and ends in a cliffhanger that pushes the plot dramatically forward in anticipation of the next episode. We aren't totally clear what's going to happen, but we're curious enough about the characters' pasts and the Dollhouse itself that it will likely pull most of us back in front of our televisions next week. And it isn't so elusive as to alienate us by making it totally unclear where the series is going.

Things to watch for:

The Human Trafficking Metaphor

Caroline (i.e. Echo): "Actions have consequences."
Adelle: "What if they didn't?"

I've heard some skepticism about the blatant human trafficking metaphor in Dollhouse, but if anyone can pull this off successfully it's Whedon. Because not only does Whedon create awesome television, he's also very involved in Equality Now, and thus there's no one I trust more than to make such a political statement about something so serious. (And here's my cue to plug Whedon's Equality Now speech from 2006, which you'll find lurking at the end of this blog post.) In an AMC interview, Whedon was asked how being a feminist fits in with a show about "women being subjugated." Whedon replies: "It’s terrifying. There’s no way you can avoid the idea that this feels like high-end human trafficking. But what I’m interested in is the idea of a woman who has no identity, who is gradually becoming self-aware and saying, 'I think I know more than they want me to.' It hurts me and intrigues me." There's no doubt that Whedon will be able to find a way to balance these two emotions in such a way that we as viewers are "feeling" the issue in the same way that he is.

The Music

It looks like Dollhouse is going to have quite the musical score -- the scenes in which Echo hesitantly eases herself into the chair for personality removal/imprinting are accompanied by some pretty eerie music -- the subtle kind of music with the high octaves and slow rising and falling of pitch... almost childlike, but in that way where you know something's not quite right. It embodies Echo herself -- Echo has been stripped of personality, and she can be manipulated and "raised" much like a child is. Her innocent queries, the way that she touches Dr. Saunder's face and asks "who takes care of you?", not accusingly -- only inquiringly, seeking answers for their own sake rather than to learn about something else through that answer. The music reflects the innocence and danger of Echo herself, and it will be interesting to see whether this becomes a trademark throughout the series.

The Backstories

Echo -- What did Echo do that made her afraid enough to join the Dollhouse? How did she find out about the Dollhouse, or did they find her?
Dr. Claire Saunders -- what happened to her face, and why is she all skulky? I'm torn about whether to trust her.
Paul -- Why is this FBI agent so obsessed with finding the Dollhouse? Seems like more than just a job to me. And what's with all those boxing flashbacks?
Topher - Why does Topher seem so lacking of morals? I'm hesitant to typecast him as just an amoral, avaricious jerk because nothing is so simple as that in the Whedonverse -- so what's his deal?
Boyd -- What shady past is this ex-cop-turned-handler hiding? Why would he choose the Dollhouse if he seems so unwilling to trust and/or condone the organization? Did he perhaps do something so unforgivable under his previous employer that he had no choice but to work at the Dollhouse? Or is he there for a more elusive purpose?

The Humor

Boyd (about Echo's new personality): She's nearsighted...?
Topher: She also has asthma.

Echo (detective persona): Speak out of turn again and I will scold you.

Whedon could potentially give Dushku's personality imprints a funny and unexpected new quirk every week. I, for one, am very excited about the potential in this.

Some Really Great Writing/Directing/Producing/etcetera

Behind the scenes of Dollhouse we have Jed Whedon, who worked on Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog with his brother (and also publishes a youtube series called Apartment 4B with his fiancee), and also some great Buffy and/or Angel alumni -- Elizabeth Craft, Sarah Fain, Kelly A. Manners, Tim Minear, Steven DeKnight, and David Solomon.

The Evolution of Eliza

Eliza Dushku's going to have quite the challenge ahead of her. She must play different people every week, yet do it in such a way that the audience begins to care for her character as much as they care for any other. The pilot episode demonstrates that Eliza is capable of the feat, but I think she can do even better in the future.

In conclusion -- I wholeheartedly endorse this new series (as if you thought I wouldn't!), and am thoroughly looking forward to next week's episode. Wholeheartedly. And thoroughly. So if you're not watching now, START.

The CW to pick up L.J. Smith's "Vampire Diaries"

2009-02-12T14:21:00.005-06:00

by Adela P

The CW has picked up a pilot for yet another vampire television series. This one will be based upon L.J. Smith's young adult "Vampire Diaries" books. The first "Vampire Diaries" book, "The Awakening," was published in 1991. I myself was an avid fan of L.J. Smith's when I was a teenager, and I happen to own most of the first publications of her books. Before Smith's books were republished with the success of Twilight, I used to ALWAYS search used bookstores for her stuff. Her books were hard to come by, and even if I found something I already owned, I could usually buy it and sell it on Amazon for about four times as much as I paid for it.

Smith's books were what first got me all vampire-crazed, which undoubtedly influenced my obsession with vampires -- and Buffy. I have Smith to thank for all of the amazing people, scholarship, reading, and general fan joy that has helped to contribute to who I am today. Because really, when I think about it, she is partly responsible for something that I have been involved with for more than half of my life, considering that I'm twenty-three years old and my obsession with vampires started at around age ten or eleven. I hope this isn't scaring you, Dear Reader. Please don't imagine that I'm one of those people who walks around wearing a cape and plastic fangs all day. But I would be remiss if I didn't mention the fact that if it weren't for my obsession with vampires, pretty much everything about my life would be different -- my interests, my friends, the things I like to study. So yeah. I'm gonna go ahead and say that if the concept of vampires didn't exist, and if L.J. Smith hadn't written about them in her "Vampire Diaries" and "Nightworld" series, I don't even know who I would be today.

I'm intrigued by this concept of a television series. People are unsurprisingly already comparing it to Twilight, which may or may not lose the Buffy demographic right there. I'm just wondering at this point whether they're going to ruin bits of my childhood or if I'm going to become shamefully addicted to this new show.

No word yet on whether it will be released this year -- my guess would be September, but who knows how long these things take to plan out and such. I'm assuming they'd want to get rolling while things are still hot, though. Although I guess with New Moon (the second novel in the Twilight series) hitting theaters next year, it'll be awhile before the vampire craze dies down.

And now I'd just like to reiterate that I was a vampire fan wayyyyy before it was popular. It made me a freak, in fact, and I sort of wore that as my special badge of honor. So there.

For more info, check out:

(Thank you, Ian, for posting this bit of news on your blog.)

Dollhouse: don't forget to watch the premiere

2009-02-12T08:06:00.007-06:00

by: Adela P.

Tomorrow, Friday the 13th (is this a bad omen or just a coincidence?), is the series premiere of Dollhouse -- the series that Whedon fans have been hyping, anticipating, and cajoling Fox to just please at least let it air for a full season, and please air the pilot, and please air the episodes in order -- in short, oh please OH PLEASE give it a standing chance.

Fans are already peeved that Dollhouse was given the dreaded Friday night slot. This excerpt comes from Pinkraygun.com's Melissa Voelker:

This week my rant is all for Fox. Fox, why do you hate your own programming? First you buy shows and announce that you will be their new best friend, and then you start to hurt them. Its like you are the ultimate abusive boyfriend. Take Dollhouse, for instance, Joss Whedon's new show that all of use Whedonites are salivating over. You bought it, you advertised it, then you decided not only to sit on it until 2009, but you are going to air it on Friday nights. Friday nights are No Man’s Land for TV shows, the equivalent of Where Programming Goes to Die. That was how you killed Firefly, after all, a fact which none of us forgive you for. But while its a terrible thing you are doing to “Dollhouse,” at least that show hasn’t even started yet so it isn’t like you’ve been super nice and supportive of it first. (Really I only think you bought it so no one else could because you don’t want it airing opposite any of your shows. I think you’ve got a deep crazy person hatred for Joss Whedon, but that is another article.)

There has even been some fan response protesting the inevitable cancellation of Dollhouse:

Well, to be fair, fans have no reason to trust Fox. Like Melissa Voelker said, Fox does seem like the ultimate abusive boyfriend. They pretend to be nice but then they give their new shows the worst time slots imaginable. Why couldn't they have eased Dollhouse into our primetime with a nice Sunday night slot? After all, Brothers and Sisters and Desperate Housewives fare pretty well, right? Is Sunday night such a bad time? That would solve the problem of Dollhouse being in contention with all of the ridiculously popular shows that have no real cred, right? Man, I wish I were in charge of these things.

James Poniewozik wrote an article for Time way back in December, and then again a few days ago -- hey, at least he's giving Dollhouse some long overdue attention. Poniewozik seems pretty conflicted. He worries about the premise -- Whereas his past series had ready-made good-vs.-evil setups, Dollhouse is morally nebulous. Sometimes we're rooting for Ballard to bust the Dollhouse, sometimes we're rooting for Echo's handlers and protectors in the organization that pimps her out. He worries about Dushku -- Dushku, memorable as the bad-girl Faith in Buffy, isn't much of a chameleon. She's passably callow as Caroline and nicely eerie as the doll-like "blank" Echo, but she doesn't transform with each personality, à la Toni Collette in United States of Tara. And he worries about the logic (cue tiny tiny spoiler warning here) -- A scene with a skeptical colleague addresses head-on a basic implausibility of the premise: why the hell does a billionaire need to turn to some kind of bizarre sci-fi brianwashing whorehouse to get the perfect date, or the perfect crime investigator, or the perfect whatever, when they can perfectly easily go out and hire one who hasn't had their personality wiped? His response: when you have everything, you want something more—more exotic, more perfect, more specific. Not so persuasive on the surface, but if the show is well enough done, hopefully we won't care.

But beyond all of this, Poniewozik readily admits that he might be wrong: I wasn't crazy about Firefly when it first debuted, in retrospect one of the worse calls of my career. And he also touches upon one of the main reasons Whedon fans are watching at all -- For me, the main draw now is not seeing Dushku become a different person every week, but getting to see Joss Whedon become a different writer every week. I personally know a few people that are not particularly drawn to Dushku or Amy Acker, the two actors that garner the most attention for having already been on a Whedon show. Rather, they are drawn to the prospect of another Whedon show to which they can devote time, energy, and sometimes scholarship. I admit, I feel the same way. I've never seen an episode of Tru Calling in my life, though I'm told by many that it's a fairly decent show. I don't get overly excited when I come across Acker on an episode of Supernatural or Alias. She just doesn't get me excited in the same way that seeing some of the other actors does. (I about flipped when Amber Benson and Mercedes McNab made appearances on Supernatural.) But even though the cast doesn't overly excite me, I absolutely cannot WAIT for Whedon to be in my living room again.

This Quote-Video-Meta maze I've constructed here is my attempt to make you realize that Dollhouse is going to need a lot of help from Whedon fans to get it rolling. Word spreads best through your mouths, people, so start telling your friends to watch. Friday nights are BLEH. People are out and about, being social, doing whatever -- oh, of course, except for me, because I'll be sitting in front of my television, watching Dollhouse, and being sure to record it on the DVR for any of my friends who miss it and can be convinced to come to my humble abode and watch.

So watch. WATCH. Tell others to watch. Record it for others to watch. Spread the word so it doesn't suffer the fate of cancellation. If you watch Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles, stick around and watch Dollhouse too. (Why, Fox, couldn't you just keep T:SCC on Monday nights but stick with the T:SCC/Dollhouse idea? Okay, soapbox gone now. Really.) Oh, and if you're a Whedon fan just tuning in on Friday for Dollhouse, come on over an hour earlier to witness the amazingness of T:SCC. Let's get these shows back into some normal timeslots so they have a chance at success. What do you say?

PS: The Chicago Tribune described Dollhouse as a "twisted exploration of the malleability of female identity." Intriguing description. Perhaps we'll come across a paper about this at the Slayage conference someday.

PPS: Do take time to check out dose.ca's Joss Whedon Moments We Loved. It made me smile a lot.

Stephen King hates "Twilight"

2009-02-05T10:38:00.009-06:00

by: Adela P.

Lorrie Lynch (USA Weekend) recently asked master horror writer Stephen King whether he thinks his success "paved the way" for the careers of the hugely successful authors Stephenie Meyer and J.K. Rowling. Ignore the pretentiousness of the question itself, and rather read King's gem of a response:

"Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people. ... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good."

Ha!

And furthermore:

"In the case of Stephenie Meyer, it’s very clear that she’s writing to a whole generation of girls and opening up kind of a safe joining of love and sex in those books. It’s exciting and it’s thrilling and it's not particularly threatening because they’re not overtly sexual. A lot of the physical side of it is conveyed in things like the vampire will touch her forearm or run a hand over skin, and she just flushes all hot and cold. And for girls, that’s a shorthand for all the feelings that they’re not ready to deal with yet."

I'm not ashamed to say that I read the Twilight series and I liked it. I do not, however, claim that Meyer's series is a work of genius as many fans are apt to do, nor would I ever consider Meyer to be on the same level as Stephen King and J.K. Rowling. The Twilight series, while entertaining, is what I like to call "crack fiction." It's essentially the same as crack television -- we read it not because it's good, but because it's addicting. It is, in fact, bad for us. We probably shouldn't be reading it at all, but sometimes that temptation is just too hard to ignore.

My general problem with vampire romance stories is that they are so very predictable. If anyone has even a smidge of writing talent in them, it's easy enough to just follow the formula and publish a book. "Vampire falls in love with human, angstiness ensues, and hey, here's where we throw the vampire/werewolf war into the mix." I love vampire books. I love vampire television shows. I love vampire movies. But are they ever really original? Rarely.

Digression: Why did Buffy work? Angel the vampire falls in love with Buffy the human, right? Isn't that the sacred Formula? Ah, but we musn't forget that Buffy is the slayer, destined to kill her (adolescent inspired) one true love. And let's not forget what happens when they do seal the deal. "Happily ever after" rarely, if ever, exists in the Whedon-verse.

All in all, it gave me a ginormous happy to read King's response to the Meyer craze. Especially because it makes me want to sick up every time I see one of those ridiculous "Which is hotter, Twilight or Harry Potter?" banner advertisements.

Is it just my bad mood? Or is television less than impressive this year?

2009-02-02T19:38:00.003-06:00

by: Adela P

For some reason, I have been rather disappointed in television lately. I don’t know why, perhaps it’s just my mood in general. I have a thesis constantly looming over my head, I’m forced to take a class on environmental geography this semester (definitely not my forté), I have to regularly tear myself away from some truly amazing Harry Potter fanfiction in order to pursue my scholastic responsibilities… okay, it doesn’t sound too dire, right? But I remember back when Buffy was on, and I’d be so excited to just immerse myself in the show, and inevitably events would come about that would have me screaming at the television, standing up on my chair (literally), sobbing my heart out, or even just simply sitting on the edge of my seat, eyes glued to the screen, riveted.

I haven’t felt this kind of excitement from television in a long while.

I love Lost. But nothing can capture season one, when we were wondering about “the others,” wondering what that strange black smoke was, wondering if they were ever going to get back home. Now, we sort of know what happens in a backhanded way. Instead of flashbacks, we’re having flashforwards, and if we already know what’s going to happen, there’s not much suspense, is there? Well, okay, I’m not sure that Lost can ever lose its suspense factor. But I certainly am not fascinated by the show and its concepts as much as I was in season one. I’m sad about losing that excitement, that mystery of season one. I’m sad that a lot of the factors that I found so intriguing in the first few seasons, like the mysterious number, have sort of tapered away. The island just isn’t as scary, and for me, that’s what the major appeal of Lost was.

I enjoy watching Gossip Girl, but I’m not as invested in it as I’ve been with other teen dramas. For some reason, I’m just not that enraptured by the lives of these rich Manhattans. I love learning about them as people, but too often for me, GG seems to be getting by solely on garish outfits, mansions, and lifestyles. The characters don’t interact with each other nearly as much as they should, and we go through entire episodes without even seeing some of them. I shudder to think where this series is going to go when they all move on to college. Right now, it’s still entertaining, but perhaps not even enough to keep me watching.

Supernatural isn’t boding too well, either. It’s about 50/50 at this point. Half the episodes are boring, nonsensical, or standalones, and half are brilliant. Sorry, but for me, a season has to be at least 75% brilliant to garner my undivided attention. I’m not going to discontinue watching, but I probably won’t be putting as much effort in reviewing. I’m almost glad that season 4 might be the last.

I’m not too disappointed in Kyle XY, but then again, it’s only the beginning of the season. (I guess I could say the same for Lost, as well.) I’ve decided to stop watching Fringe, because it’s just not holding my attention. It’s taking much too long to establish its mythology. Perhaps I’ll tune in for the season finale to see if it miraculously improved over the latter half of the season.

I’m not disappointed in Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles at all. That’s pretty much my main show at the moment, and I anticipate that Joss Whedon's Dollhouse will join those ranks once it premieres on February 13th. Friday nights are going to be my happy nights, and I’m sure much reviewing will ensue over the weekends. But sadly, as far as the rest of the shows go, I might just end up reviewing episodes here and there, or in one giant review at the end of the week, or maybe even just give a review of a show every month. I’m just not “feeling” television these days.

I’d much rather be reading Harry Potter fanfic. And on that note, I’m going to direct you all to my favorite thus far, a fic by Aspen in the Sunlight called “A Year Like No Other.” It's so amazing that it has its own fan page. Fans of Aspen's have created wallpapers and art for her story, translated it into several different languages, volunteered to create mp3s of the chapters for an audio book, converted it into an eBook for your Kindle, iPod/iPhone, etc., and have even written their own fanfiction based upon Aspen's universe (in turn based off of J.K. Rowling's universe). Go on, give it a chance. It’s extremely long and will probably take you awhile. Go ahead and read the first few chapters. I dare you to read them and not be hooked.

Funny Games

2009-01-30T17:29:00.008-06:00

Michael Haneke's Funny Games isn't really funny at all. Not to be too harsh or anything, but it's basically a pretentious piece of shit.

Apparently this movie is a remake of Haneke's earlier German film of the same name. Yes, the director loved his movie SO MUCH he decided to helm Funny Games both times for two distinctly different audiences. Not only that, but he didn't change much of anything between the two. I have it on good authority if you've managed to see one of these gems you've basically seen them both.

I'm not actually an idiot. I often play one on this blog but I have had that new-fangled book learnin' people talk about. Sometimes I even watch foreign movies just because. Yeah. That's how special I am. If I'm having one of my good days I can even decipher concepts and stuff and tell when I'm being mocked. Those days are few and far between, but it is possible. I didn't need a remake in the English language just so I could see the director's vision. Sooner or later I would have rented or Netflixed the source material. Just saying.

If you want to be surprised by this film you should stop reading now. Fair warning. Funny Games is basically pointless. If you've seen Them (French title Ils) or the American remake The Strangers you've seen all this before. Oh no! There are serial killers who murder just because they can! No motivation except boredom! They're "disgusted by the emptiness of existence!" Whew. That's bold and exciting and hasn't been done before.

To be fair, technically Michael Haneke directed the first Funny Games before Them was released. He was the pioneer, not the copier. Except, of course, that there's roughly a million movies with killers who kill just because for no rhyme or reason. Whatever. Michael Haneke had a bigger plan. He's quoted as saying (and I'm paraphrasing) "If you walked out in the middle of this film, you don't need this movie. If you stayed until the end, this movie is for you".

Funny Games can be summed up in one or two paragraphs. Two condescending young killers in white gloves go around murdering pretentious rich people while they're vacationing in their summer homes on the lake. God forbid you make money or enjoy going on trips and hanging out with friends! It's almost like you deserve to be tortured! Peter and Paul (or Beavis and Butthead, or Tom and Jerry, the names change but they all mean the same thing) then proceed to play "funny games" with their victims.

Some of these games include betting whether or not the vacationers will be dead within twelve hours, playing cat-in-a-bag with the children, (It's a fun game. Stick the kid's head in a bag and hurt him/her until the mother or father does what the killers tell them to do. All the cool kids are playing it) or let the victim choose the method of their demise. None of the "innocents" get out alive. It's a torture flick without much on-screen physical torture.

If that's all Funny Games was about I wouldn't have a problem with it. I've watched worse, and you don't go into a horror movie expecting a happy ending. If you do, you're not a true-blue horror fan. We might wish the innocents would get away but everyone knows the star of the show is usually the killer. Sometimes the movies stop being about the victims at all, and the killers become caricatures of themselves (Freddy, Jason and Michael Myers, anyone?).

I even enjoyed the way the bratty murderers engaged the audience. Paul sometimes talked directly to the camera, in essence making the viewer a participant in the evil goings-on. I appreciated that. It was a nice conceit, the idea that by the very act of watching the audience is partially responsible for whatever happens. If that was as far as it went, I would have said "good point!" and moved on.

However, the lucky lucky viewer was also barraged with monologues about how fiction is basically the same as reality as well as being bludgeoned with the idea that violence is bad and most people are evil for watching it. How did Michael Haneke get this amazing idea out to the masses? By making a horror movie filled with mental torture and death! Innovative, right?

Wrong. I don't like people lecturing me, and that's what this film felt like. A great big hypocritical lecture. Just because I happen to like horror movies that doesn't mean I glorify violence and it doesn't mean I enjoy watching people blow up into gooey bits. Well, sometimes I do, but that's not the point.

Quite a bit of the time people watch horror to be scared or in the often vain hope the underdog will win. They don't usually, but that makes the times they do all the more special. Watching horror/thriller movies is like seeing what makes people afraid right now. It changes all the time, but for a short time the viewer feels like they have their finger on the pulse of society itself. Heh. Or maybe that's just me (I didn't say I wasn't pretentious, just discerning).

Sure, maybe there's the requisite sicko that gets off to watching people be raped, tortured, etc., but there's a good portion of people that watch for other reasons. I don't need Michael Haneke's judgment. And I did watch until the end, asshole.

Well, now that this review is really long and self-indulgent, I'll say this. Funny Games was well made. Other than the special "message" it was also entertaining in a sick way. This is not a feel good film or something you would watch with friends, but if you're in the mood for pretension and pontificating the points are easy to follow. The cast was uniformly excellent. I love Tim Roth, Naomi Watts, Brady Corbin, and Michael Pitt. They were all far better than this movie deserved.

If you've seen Funny Games already and found the secrets of life, the universe and everything within it's shadowed gruesome plot, drop me a line and let me know what I missed. Despite all the rants, I like a good discussion.

amber t

Kyle XY: It Happened One Night

2009-01-13T13:54:00.001-06:00

by: Adela P

Unfamiliar with Kyle XY? Well, here's a synopsis:

Kyle is a boy that was created from the DNA of a genius named Adam Baylin. Kyle was kept incubating in a pseudo-womb until he was a teenager, the idea being that the longer the period of gestation, the longer the brain has to develop inside the womb, and the more intelligent the child will be. The company that was housing Kyle's incubated body is eevvvil, as you probably guessed. When the company analyzes Kyle's brain as a teenager (still incubating) they realize that he's too independent (using verrry scarrrry, futuristic science) and decide to get rid of him. A man by the name of Tom Foss, who had worked for the company for years and whose primary responsibility was taking care of Kyle, decides to save Kyle. Tom gets Kyle out of there and dumps him in the woods. Poor Kyle then wakes up having no idea where he is, no language skills -- basically like a giant baby that can walk -- and wanders into the city.

Obviously people don't take too kindly to seeing a naked teenage boy with pink goo all over him and no belly button wandering about the city, so he's taken to juvenile hall. (No umbilical cord=no belly button, obviously.) They call in Nicole Trager, a psychologist, to figure things out, and she, being the maternal soul that she is, decides to bring him home to her family, and he never ends up leaving.

The series progresses with Kyle figuring out everything I've just written, and then some. Eventually Kyle discovers that there was another child created, Jessie (XX), and the two become closer as they try to escape the evil corporation that created them, and figure out the secrets of their identity and abilities.

The one negative thing to say about Kyle XY is that its network is ABC Family, which means that there are just some places that the show cannot venture. Were it able to, I have a feeling that Kyle XY could be among the ranks of some of the cleverest sci-fi shows on the air right now. It really is an amazing synopsis -- if they were able to get more funding for better special effects, and were able to stretch out the darker storylines so that they actually remained dark, depressing, and nihilistic, it would be a truly amazing show. It still does have amazing qualities, and it's one of my favorite shows on the air right now -- but you have to give it some leeway because of the network it calls its home.

As much as it's concerned with the sci-fi aspects of the show, it's equally, if not moreso, concerned with family and the maintenance of relationships, familial and otherwise. It does have those cheesy moments sometimes, but never to the extent of shows like 7th Heaven where it makes you want to gag. Viewers might be annoyed by the voiceover-aspect of it -- every episode has a voiceover from Kyle at the beginning and end of the episode, and sometimes here and there in the middle of the episode as well. I think the writers want to continually capture the feel of the pilot episode, in which the only way we could really know what Kyle was thinking throughout his initial experiences outside the pseudo-womb was through the voiceovers. This method works and is very beneficial in the first season, but in the second season it didn't have the same usefulness as in the first, and sometimes it seemed out of place. I think the voiceovers probably could have stopped with season 2 -- but it's not something that I get irritated with and I don't think too much about it, so I won't gripe over it.

Another staple of the show is the very cute, very clever dialogue of the teenagers. It's not filled with the sometimes obscure pop culture references as heard in shows like Gilmore Girls or Buffy -- rather, it takes teen lingo to its utmost, ludicrous extreme. I can't even tell you how excited I was the first time I heard the character of Hillary refer to two other characters in a relationship with one mixed name -- Lori and Declan are "Leclan," Kyle and Declan have a "bromance" going on, and are referred to as "Keclan." (And oh god, I just searched for "Keclan" in Google to ensure that I was spelling it correctly, and beautifully displayed before me was a Youtube video fan montage entitled "keclan bromance." Oh how I love the little tweens. I'm going to assume this was a tween that did this or I'll really be disturbed.)

As stated previously, because there are some places the show just cannot go, the potentially amazing darker storylines can't make their homes on Kyle XY. Season 2 ended with Kyle's girlfriend Amanda disappearing after the Prom, and the viewers and Kyle are left to wonder who captured her and why. (Kyle XY is a big fan of the season's end cliffhangers.) If this were any other network, I would have hoped that Amanda would stay kidnapped throughout the entirety of the third season -- but because it's ABC Family, I knew the crisis would be resolved in the first episode of season 3, and probably quite happily. I was correct, of course. Just as Jessie and Adam couldn't stay dead and Andy couldn't remain cancer-ridden in season 2, Amanda cannot stay kidnapped. And if anyone ever permanently dies, or if anything really terrible happens, I will flip my lid.

There is definitely some corny dialogue in Kyle XY, but it's typically followed by skepticism and annoyance from other characters. In last night's episode, when Kyle and Jessie are searching for Amanda, Jessie asks Kyle how they will find her. Kyle responds, "I'll hear her heart beat." And then Jessie does what many viewers are probably doing right at that moment -- she rolls her eyes. And she's probably thinking in her head, Of course you will. We know that Kyle literally does hear Amanda's heart beating, but the line is just too corny to take seriously, and the writers realize that.

Even though there are places that ABC Family can't go, the mature themes on some of its shows are sort of amazing. The other hit show on ABC Family is The Secret Life of the American Teenager, which is all about a girl that becomes pregnant in high school. And unlike other shows, this girl actually looks like she's in high school, and she should -- the actress was 16 when she landed the role of the 15-year-old pregnant teenager. On Kyle XY, most of the actors aren't age-similar as in Secret Life, but there's definitely a lot of talk about sex -- which is surprising to me, considering that darker themes and excessive violence are inappropriate for the network. I guess it's one thing to talk about it and another thing to show it?

Next week, my review of Kyle XY will be more review-like and less like this one, but I thought I'd give readers who've never seen the show a feel for what it's about, as well as why I like it, even though it is on ABC Family. I'm not sure how wide the viewership of this show is to people who read my blog, but I'd like to encourage those of you who haven't watched it to give it a chance and try to catch an episode this season. Or, alternatively, catch up on previous episodes here.

Gossip Girl: Gone With the Will

2009-01-13T12:12:00.003-06:00

by: Adela P

Again I'm disappointed with Gossip Girl. It seems to be alternating -- one episode will be really great and the next will be terrible. Or one will be really great and the next three will be terrible. Take your pick.

This week's major problems were inconsistencies, randomness, and ridiculousness. Let's just make a list, shall we?

Nate suddenly appears out of nowhere for the reading of Bart's will, for moral support to Chuck. He didn't even appear in last week's episode! How does he know about this?

Gossip Girl reports that Dan might be doing something shady behind Serena's back -- and then mentions Georgina? Whaaaaa? Georgina hasn't even been on the radar at all this season, why randomly mention her now? Sure, there are rumors floating about that Michelle Trachtenberg might make another appearance this season to reprise her role as Georgina, but shouldn't there be more of a subtle lead-in to Georgina's appearance, as in last season?

Chuck taking over Bart Industries? Bad plan, Bart! And Chuck actually thinks he can do it? How does that song go again? "You think you're a man! But you're only a boy. You think you're a man! But you're only a toy." And seeing Chuck sitting in the office, a half-naked chick on his lap and a bunch of coke on the desk only proves my point -- not that we all didn't know it already.

Why, oh why did Dan have to open his big fat mouth to Vanessa (who randomly appears for the sake of convenience for the plot, and then disappears again) in the candy shop, of all places? Hasn't he learned his lesson yet? Some things should only be uttered in the privacy of your home, Dan. And sometimes not even there.

In this episode we see again another case of rich parents disappearing for days on end, allowing their children to run amuck in their stead. Oh, CW parenting. Sometimes there's just nothing to say.

Chuck finally gets what he wants, and is blowing it -- yeah, he's all angsty and heartbroken and whatnot, but every time it seems like he's finally going to start treating Blair right, he just falls off the wagon again. Stop it, Chuck!

Are they really singing "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" at the brunch? Really?

Even someone as immature as Jenny should realize that sometimes you just need to be alone with your boyfriend. That's not such a difficult notion, and it's ridiculous that she would be that upset about it.

Rufus and Lily actually believed that their son was dead? Even I didn't believe it, regardless of the newspaper "evidence." Do some more digging, people. Although, to be fair, Lily is the only smart one in this relationship, and she's less eager than Rufus to continue the search.

It seems that Gossip Girl is having significant narrative problems these days -- I think it has a lot to do with the writers not knowing exactly what to do with the characters. They seem to be making up plots as they go along, episode by episode, rather than creating a plan for the entire series (or even just the season). As a result, characters are left dangling, nobody has any direction, and the plot isn't moving forward in any significant ways. Such is the problem with teen dramas.

As much as the problem is about the fact that the writers haven't given the show a real plot, and have also failed to give the characters direction -- the other problem lies with the fact that the characters lead their own lives, for the most part very separate from one another. They don't have any direction as a group, their identities do not lie with one another, and therefore the characters cannot work together towards any sort of common goals. And again, this is the problem with dramas, and why dramas cannot be studied like sci-fi shows can. Sci-fi shows are typically based around a group of people, whether they are friends or not, and this group of people is working towards a common outside goal, usually one of saving the world from the Apocalypse or killer aliens or something of that nature. The characters don't necessarily have to like each other, but are forced to work together for the common good of mankind, which oftentimes creates significant conflicts between them that are both entertaining to watch and help the characters grow and the plot progress in often unexpected ways.

What kinds of common goals do the characters of teen dramas have? Well, the short answer is that they usually don't have them, which makes the writing of any kind of teen drama on a scholarly level virtually impossible. An exception would be if the studying is extratextual, and considers audience consumption of a television show and the ways in which an audience's perception of themselves, and how they interact in the world, changes as a result of a show.

Wow, I really didn't mean to make this week's review of Gossip Girl into a mini-analysis about why teen dramas suck and why supernatural dramas are amazing. Well, there you have it. We now returned to our regularly scheduled reviewing:

Now that I've listed all of those moments that made me roll my eyes in annoyance (and then some), let's move on to things that I actually enjoyed:

Lily telling Rufus to stop thinking of only himself. Go Lily! Rufus needs to be put in his place.
Lily and Rufus hooking up -- finally! I'm liking Rufus less and less these days, but at least if these two are together it significantly complicates things for Serena and Dan, who are a terrible couple. Lily and Rufus holding hands at the end of the episode after they enter the Humphrey residence and see their kids hanging out together really made me smile -- I only wish I could have seen Serena and Dan's reactions.

Blair, Blair, Blair! I love Blair. I hated her in season one but she's really growing on me. I loved how she finally gave up on Chuck, realizing that he was too far beyond helping at this point. Her throwing the flowers that Chuck gave her into the elevator as it's closing behind him was priceless.

My two favorite Blair quotes of the evening:

"It's so hard finding obedient minions."
"You have no one to blame but yourself. I believed in you. Your father believed in you. You are the only one who didn't. All I wanted to do was just be there. But today when you called me your wife, you made it sound like the ugliest word in the world."

Gossip Girl: In the Realm of the Basses

2009-01-10T20:05:00.010-06:00

Generally speaking, I loved this episode. Loved loved loved it -- it was the perfect episode to premiere the second half of the season after the long winter hiatus. Although I'm happy Serena broke up with Aaron, why, oh WHY did she and Dan have to get back together? a) Terrible idea, and b) Gross. I'm sorry, but I just can't stand the sight of them together. Oh wait, I'm not sorry. Not at all. Oh how I loved and cheered Blair's derisive words: "I'm very happy for you. I'm gonna go vomit now," which ties with her equally awesome disgusted expression at seeing Dan come up behind Serena and wrap his arms around her. I'm retching and gagging right there with you, Blair.

Blair was definitely the highlight of the episode, and for the first time I felt like I really, truly believed her and Chuck's very strange love-hate relationship. Which is actually more like love disguised as hate, and it even looks like the whole "hate" part is quickly leaving the building. Or the writer's room. In any case, I was excited to see a disheveled Chuck being dragged out of the limo by the very hot Uncle Jack.

After Blair witnesses the extent of Chuck's breakdown yet again, it finally catches up to her in a way the audience hasn't quite seen since Blair realized her feelings for him. As she's looking at herself in the mirror, she finally has her own breakdown, which, in typical Blair fashion, lasts only seconds, only to be replaced with a cool calm moments later -- it's almost hard to believe it actually happened. To me, the scene encompassed every part of who Blair is in the space of mere moments -- her ability to pull herself together so quickly demonstrates just how tough she is, and yet exposes her vulnerability so beautifully.

Her heartbreaking words to Serena, "I looked in his eyes and I couldn't see him anymore." I choked up. And the final scene in which Blair pulls Chuck off the ledge 'o' doom? I don't even have words.

Now, all of this being said -- I have to gripe about the last few seconds of the episode. They're alluding to Blair having a not-so-innocent rendezvous with Uncle Jack? Huh? No way. Not cool. Blair wouldn't do that to Chuck, right? Right?!

With GG, who knows. But all I can say is this: even though the man's hot, I will seriously be annoyed and disappointed if this is true, and then I'll once again be in that annoying place where I don't know if I can take Blair seriously. Don't put me there, writers! I want to believe in Blair, I really do. She's very close to becoming my favorite character, and I don't want this to get screwed up.

Other great moments:

1) Lily and Rufus making up and going after their long-lost love child together. Awww.

2) Eric telling chuck to "come home." Double awww!!!!!

3) Any moment with Dorota is one of my favs. I sort of wish Blair would start treating her better, but I know that she loves Dorota in her own twisted way. Just as she loves Chuck in her own twisted way. When she's not off having a sordid pseudo-affair with Uncle J.

---Adela P.

When the end of the winter hiatus nears...

2008-12-15T13:12:00.006-06:00

... we must prepare ourselves for midseason premieres!!!

Here is a schedule of some January/February/March premieres courtesy of Steve West. Be sure to mark your calendars so that you don't miss any!

I will also be reposting this list just before January.

Sunday, January 4
9/8c: Desperate Housewives (ABC)
10/9c: Brothers and Sisters (ABC)

Monday, January 5
8/7c: Gossip Girl (CW)
8/7c: The Secret Life of the American Teenager (ABC Family)
9/8c: One Tree Hill (CW)

Tuesday, January 6
8/7c: 90210 (CW)
9/8c: Scrubs (ABC)
9/8c: Privileged (CW)
10/9c: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC)
10/9c: Nip/Tuck (FX)

Wednesday, January 7
8/7c: Knight Rider (NBC)
8/7c: Fear is Real (CW)
10/9c: The Real World (MTV)
10/9c: Damages (FX)

Thursday, January 8
8/7c: Ugly Betty (ABC)
8/7c: My Name Is Earl (NBC)
9/8c: Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)
9/8c: The Office (NBC)
9:30/8:30c: 30 Rock (NBC)
10/9c: Private Practice (ABC)
10/9c: ER (NBC)

Friday, January 9
8/7c: Ghost Whisperer (CBS)
9/8c: Friday Night Lights (NBC)
9/8c: Monk (USA)
10/9c: Numb3rs (CBS)
10/9c: Psych (USA)

Monday, January 12
9/8c: 24 (FOX)
9/8c: Kyle XY (ABC Family)

Tuesday, January 13
8/7c: American Idol (FOX)

Thursday, January 15
8/7c: Bones (FOX)
8/7c: Smallville (CW)
9/8c: C.S.I.: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS)
9/8c: Supernatural (CW)
10/9c: Eleventh Hour (CBS)
10/9c: The Beast (A&E)

Friday, January 16
10/9c: Battlestar Galactica (SciFi)

Sunday, January 18
10/9c: Army Wives Season 2 Encore (Lifetime)
10/9c: The United States of Tara (Showtime)
10/9c: Flight of the Conchords (HBO)

Monday, January 19
8/7c: House (FOX)

Tuesday, January 20
9/8c: Fringe (FOX)

Wednesday, January 21
9/8c: Lost (ABC)
9/8c: Lie to Me (FOX)

Monday, January 26
10/9c: Trust Me (TNT)

Wednesday, January 28
10/9c: Life on Mars (ABC)

Thursday, January 29
9/8c: Hell’s Kitchen (FOX)

Monday, February 2
8/7c: Chuck (NBC)
9/8c: Heroes (NBC)
10/9c: Medium (NBC)

Wednesday, February 4
9/8c: Life (NBC)

Friday, February 13
8/7c: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (FOX)
9/8c: Dollhouse (FOX)

Sunday, March 1
9/8c: The Apprentice (NBC)

Monday, March 9
10/9c: Castle (ABC)

Tuesday, March 17
9/8c: Dancing with the Stars (ABC)
9/8c: Reaper (CW)

Thursday, March 19
10/9c: Kings (NBC)

Tuesday, March 24
10/9c: Cupid (ABC)

Joss Whedon and Eliza Dushku

2008-12-14T20:39:00.006-06:00

I've been severely neglecting this blog lately, and for that I feel much shame. I've been terribly busy with finals and with this Buffy thesis I'm writing (yes, for those unaware, I'm writing a Buffy thesis, and hey! I need short surveys filled out for it, so if you'd like to participate email me privately at adela.t4@gmail.com). I'm so behind on television and review-writing that I could just cry! I still need to review the amazing two-parter of Supernatural which I have slightly ambivalent feelings about, the latest episode of Fringe which I actually found to be a lot stronger than previous episodes, and I haven't even gotten around to watching the latest episode of T:SCC, which makes me sad since they've all been so great lately.

But I stumbled across this gem while I was researching for my thesis today, and decided that I need to post it. It's about our long-awaited Dollhouse, which is now set to premiere on February 13, 2009 on Fox, and will air right after Terminator.

Go read the article now! It's cute and it made me smile.

New York Entertainment: Joss Whedon on How He Staged a Career Intervention for Eliza Dushku

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: Strange Things Happen at the One Two Point

2008-11-25T11:26:00.010-06:00

The conclusion of November Sweeps brought about awesome and unexpected new plot developments in T:SCC this week. It's not often that a show manages to surprise the hell out of me, but lately, T:SCC has managed to do so more often than not.

We've discovered that Jessie's main objective is to emotionally and physically separate John from Cameron -- which again begs the question, just how intimate do these two become in the future? All signs point to....!! This is, of course, an abomination to certain members of the Resistance working under John, and thus Jessie apparently decided to use the feminine wiles of a teenage girl to lure John away from Cameron and to pursue more normal, "healthy" alternatives.

So there are two main questions that this brings to mind.

Number One: Just who is Riley? Has this girl been brought back from the future with Jessie? Or has Riley, much like Sarah, had dreams and seen visions of what's to come? Has she stumbled upon this life accidentally? How -- and what -- exactly does she know?

Number Two: In this episode, John seems to have "gotten his head in the game" as both Derek and Sarah have been incessantly asking of him in the past few episodes. This change of heart coincides with John's decision to break up with Riley for her own good. But at the end of this episode, it seems that John's not going to have the willpower to break up with her after all -- what does this mean as far as his commitment to his destiny? Is Riley going to be a distraction again, or, now that John knows she knows something's up, is he going to be able to balance these two parts of his life? Is Jessie's plan going to backfire? And what's going to happen when John inevitably discovers Riley's deception?

On this note -- I very much enjoyed John's change of attitude in this episode. He's finally showing some deference to his mother again, which I think couldn't have come at a better time, considering her state of mind as of late. It was cute how he stayed up all night researching for her, and also when he jumped to her defense during his and Derek's conversation, thinking that Derek was about to start in on Sarah when she wasn't around to defend herself. I don't think it's a coincidence that his attitude shift came after Sarah's emotional breakdown in "Mr. Ferguson Is Ill," and that his mindfulness continues in this episode as her mental state plummets. I think that if Sarah would just continue to show her weaknesses to John, rather than trying to control him and pretending to be rock steady, John would respect her for it -- and more importantly, I believe he would step up to his responsiblities more readily.

The metaphors and dialogue of this episode were unbelievably awesome. One thing I've always enjoyed about T:SCC is the poetic, subtle dialogue -- often, you can dig into the things that the characters say and garner a hell of a lot more than just what's being said on the surface. And I've also enjoyed how other characters, and the relationships between other characters, reflect in various ways the relationships that the Connors/Reeses have with each other.

The only problems I've had with dialogue this season has been some of what Riley has said to John -- but now, in light of the events of this episode, I'm wondering how much of what Riley says reflects upon her very extenuating circumstances. I wonder, if I go back and rewatch this season, if I'll be able to glean some meaning from her words and actions beyond how I initially perceived them. I wonder how many hints there were that I just didn't catch.

Here's a great example of something Riley said this week that I would have pish-poshed at last week, and now I kind of just sit and wonder. John and Riley are in Riley's bedroom, and Riley has just asked John what he thinks about her posters. He is looking at a poster of a bear eating a fish, and he comments that he thinks Riley likes that poster the best, because she seems the type that likes bears. Riley says to him: "It's not a poster of a bear. It's a poster of a fish being caught by a bear. Just swiped out of the water, totally at random. Do the other fish even care? Do they even notice? No. They just keep swimming like nothing happened. 'Cause nothing important did."

During this scene, Riley's connection with Jessie and John has not yet been revealed. When she spoke this line, I was still a bit annoyed with it -- mostly because I couldn't really understand it. I could understand Riley acting all emo and depressed, what with the week she's had and all. But until later on, her weird random expressions of emo-ness seem self-centered and unprovoked. But now? We're wondering if she's that fish -- did Jessie just pluck Riley up randomly to aid her in her attempts to separate John and Cameron? Was Riley a prisoner of the terminators in the future, much like Derek was? What sorts of memories does Riley have stored up in her brain that give her that far-off, "caught" look when she's speaking this way?

For Sarah, everything in this episode is revolving around the mystery of the three dots that she dreamt about earlier, and now is seeing everywhere. Sarah's preoccupation with the dots provokes Derek's observation that even he's seeing them everywhere now, and he thinks perhaps their work is just making them all crazy. Well, maybe -- but the writers have certainly got the viewers curious, and it seems like there's got to be something at work here other than just coincidence.

Riley says to Jessie during their meeting, "There's a lot of mirrors in this world. Did you notice that?" just before she tells her that she's not sure she can continue to deceive John. At the end of the episode, Sarah's looking at herself in the mirror, and she has three tiny cuts on her face -- not even cuts, really, but almost pinpricks, dots, in that same triangular pattern -- and in anger, she punches out the mirror. But as she walks away, the camera pans down, and the viewers see that, despite Sarah's intention to destroy the mirror so she wouldn't have to look at herself anymore, all she's managed to accomplish is to create more mirrors, as each broken shard of glass exposes her face to herself, even if she's not looking there.

The death of Dr. Sherman and the resurrection of Cromartie (e.g. John Henry) were two other somewhat unexpected events. I actually sort of enjoyed Dr. Sherman, so kudos to the writers for killing off a character that the audience might actually feel sorry about.

The scene in which Ellison had the conversation with John Henry was downright creepy. It was awesome to watch this conversation, as John Henry brings up images and formulas to communicate with Ellison. I wonder about Ellison's future involvement with the company, as more evidence that ZeiraCorp isn't what you would call an "upstanding" corporation continues to build. I loved his comment that if Catherine Weaver wants to teach the machines, she should start with the Commandments. The last scene in which Cromartie/John Henry communicates with actual words rather than images was especially shudder-worthy.

Next week's episode looks to be especially Riley/John heavy -- I wonder what's going to happen between these two, and whether Riley's eventually going to come clean. Either way, it looks like John's getting even more invested in this relationship, and when he learns of her betrayal it's going to shatter him. Is it wrong that I'm looking forward to this?

---Adela P.

90210: That Which We Destroy

2008-11-25T09:52:00.006-06:00

This week's episode wasn't too bad. The Sean storyline has the potential to bring some very interesting elements to the show, if they actually stretch it out for a few episodes. It's kind of a shame that we learned right away that all is not as it seems -- it would have been a bit better, I think, if there were very subtle hints here and there, and perhaps towards the end of the season we could have learned that he wasn't being entirely truthful with the Wilsons. So the question is -- is Sean actually Harry's son? Or is it all a giant conspiracy, and if so, to what end? Is Sean scoping the house out to rob it? Is he a ploy of Tracy's? Just who is this person, and what kinds of trouble is he going to stir up in the Wilson household?

The tension between Dixon and Harry was excellent in this episode. I loved that Sean's arrival brought about the inevitable "boo hoo I'm adopted, I need to find out who I really am" storyline. From the previews for January, it seems like Dixon's teenage angst is going to continue on for some time, which the show definitely needs.

I actually enjoyed Naomi this episode -- watching her be somebody else's bitch in order to rise in stature was pretty spectacular. I'm hoping for more of that in the coming weeks -- perhaps she can even manipulate and deceive her way to the throne.

I enjoyed the cat fights between Naomi and Annie, until Annie had to go and feel all guilty about being bitchy and mean. I was expecting some awesome bitch battles between them, and am disappointed that the show doesn't seem to be going that route. But at least they've seemed to established that Annie will no longer be this weird mix of geek and popular bitch. I expect, however, that the writers are going to try to make Annie into that geek who still cares about fashion and still manages to date the school jock. Very lame -- but I've come to expect lameness in Annie's case, so actually, if the writers manage to do something interesting with her character in the future, it will be a nice surprise.

With Sean's arrival, we've got some awesome dialogue from Miss Tabitha Bluth:

Miss Bluth: I'll tell you how I feel. Old. Now I have to reconfigure all my math. Dixon, if I wanna be 54, how old do I have to say I was when I had your father now that he has a 25-year old son he conceived when he was 18?

Dixon: 11.

Miss Bluth: Hmm. That's a little unseemly.

And later:

Miss Bluth: Maybe [Sean] can tell people he's only 20. That would help me.

I also enjoyed the interaction between Kelly and Brenda this episode -- first, we have Kelly's awesomely awkward speech to Naomi and Annie that she obviously took to heart when thinking about her friendship with Brenda:

Kelly: Girlfriends are like plants. And guys are like cut flowers. You know, sure they're pretty and they smell nice most of the time, but they don't last. Yes... and a plant or a friend if you nurture it and take care of it, it grows and it lasts a long long time. Does this make sense to-- is this helping, at all?

Later, after Kelly's just finished telling Brenda that she'll be her friend no matter what Brenda says, Brenda reveals to her that she'd slept with Ryan. Kelly doesn't say anything, simply looks at Brenda with disgust and resignation and walks away. This was made of awesome -- except that I hope it doesn't mean Doherty will be getting even less screentime now. From the previews it looks like she's still going to have a decent role in the latter half of the season, so I don't think we have to worry.

So from this episode, it looks like 90210 might be stepping it up a bit -- let's hope ridiculously dramatic and unlikely things happen before the season's end.

---Adela P.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: Complications

2008-11-17T21:43:00.004-06:00

To go from an episode where all of the characters' stories were so clearly interwoven to an episode in which they're again all going their separate ways, doing their own thing, just seems odd. I was expecting something more than this -- I was expecting this episode to be an extension of last week's, and instead it was more standalone-ish and filler than anything else. So I'm just going to present you all with a list of squick and squee (but mostly squick), as is my predilection at times.

Squick:

1. Sarah's dream sequences. Not only were they entirely lame, but I really did not need to see badass Sarah in a pink frou-frou dress. Cameron in a frou-frou dress I can handle, as I'm used to seeing Summer Glau wearing frou-frou dresses in Firefly. But wow, that pink frou-frou dress adorning my badass Sarah Connor was one of the worst things I've seen on television this year.

2. What the hell kind of music are Cameron and John listening to in the car?

3. Cameron's getting more human and feely-like, giving John weird little half-smiles and exhibiting signs of existential angst. Does. Not. Compute.

4. Sarah going to see Mr. Psychiatrist (Boyd Sherman) again -- I can see John wanting to run to the guy at the first sign of mental dysfunction, but not Sarah.

5. Sarah explaining to Sherman that she wants to see him because she has "no one else to talk to." And here, all I could think was, "Charley! Charley! Charley!" I miss you, Charley. Come back.

6. I CAN'T BELIEVE Derek and Jesse just let young Charlie Fisher go. Has there been ANY indication WHATEVER that Derek and Jesse are willing to give the future bad guys the benefit of the doubt now? Here I was under the impression that these two were the real badasses of the show, the ones that were gonna try to teach John and sometimes even Sarah how to be cold and cruel and emotionless, even when it tears your soul out. I guess not!!

7. Speaking of Fisher -- so this is why Charlie Fisher gets life in prison? Because future Charlie Fisher breaks into young Fisher's workplace and he gets busted by Homeland Security? So the only way young Fisher goes to jail is if future Fisher comes back, even though future Fisher would have no reason to go back in time if young Fisher were never in jail, which he wouldn't be because future Fisher didn't land him there....?? And okay, now I'm just confusing myself. But oh, how I loathe the never-ending, nonsensical loop! Bad writers, bad!

Squee/Squick:

1. Cameron, to John, as she waves her hand sensually out the window: "I have sensation. I feel." Straight from John's wet dream and into our living rooms. Okay, maybe that was a little inappropriate. But come on, guys. Is there really any doubt as to where this is going?

Squee:

1. Cameron hanging up the phone on Derek - awesome. Yeah, he failed to follow protocol, but she seemed almost self-righteous during this scene. Go Cameron, you terminator machine you!

2. Buffy intertexuality moments! First we have the appearance of Adam Busch playing young Charlie Fisher, who played Warren in seasons 5 and 6 of our favorite vampire show. Then, we have this wonderful quote from future Charlie Fisher: "You think you know who you are? You don't have a clue", which is strangely reminiscent of the Buffy season 4/5 adage, "You think you know who you are, what's to come? You haven't even begun."

3. I really enjoy those creepy terminator visuals. They disturb me way more than ghosts and monsters.

Other thoughts:

It was sort of expected that Ellison would steal Cromartie's body and present it to Catherine Weaver. Predictable, but oh so annoying. And once again, it's clear from John's lack of discernment over Ellison's bald-faced lie that he's so not ready to fight these mini-battles without Sarah or Derek -- damnit, he needs the guidance of some adults right now, where the hell are they?! And Cameron, what was SHE thinking? Since when does she care if John gets mad at her for killing and/or torturing "innocent" people? That better not be implying that she's somehow learning how to feel real emotions. Please don't go there, writers. Please.

All in all, a terrible disappointment considering the awesomeness of last week's episode. I still contend, however, that T:SCC is one of the best shows on television right now, and even T:SCC's worst is better than most of the drivel out there.

---Adela P.

Gossip Girl: The Magnificent Archibalds

2008-11-17T21:30:00.006-06:00

Let's talk about things I miss in Gossip Girl.

I miss bad Blair. Blair used to be a badass bitch that didn't take shit from anyone, and actively manipulated and used the people around her to get what she wanted. Now, all Blair does is whine and defer to Serena for advice on things that she's more than capable of handling herself.

I miss evil Chuck. Chuck hasn't done anything truly, truly evil in awhile now, and I don't understand where he went or why he suddenly seems to be reforming.

I miss bitchy Serena. I miss Serena and Blair getting into stupid fights every other week and treating each other like shit. I want to see Serena act like a wild child. I want to see Queen S rule the school with Queen B using every tactic in the book to usurp her throne.

I miss cool dad Rufus. Kicking Jenny out of the house? Threatening to turn her over to the cops? Lamenting over how to convince Jenny to be what he wants her to be instead of encouraging her to become the person she's always wanted to be? Chill out, Rufus, and get a life. Or a love interest.

I miss Nate and Jenny. Okay, so they were never technically together, and they only kissed, what, twice? But I liked them together, and I really wish Dan would just die so that he would stop interfering with Jenny and Nate's lives.

I miss Dan not being a dufus. How is it that even when he's not trying, he manages to ruin EVERYTHING?

I miss Vanessa having a storyline. The writers have again doing that thing where they just throw her character in random parts of an episode to make sure that she gets some screentime so viewers don't forget about her. Give me something more! Give me more of those feisty Blair/Vanessa catfights! Give me the complicated Jenny/Nate/Vanessa love triangle! Something! Anything! But if she's going to be a part of this show, please just give her something real to do! With this week's episode, it seems like there may be some good Jenny/Nate/Vanessa action in the future -- hopefully all of that foreshadowing actually comes to pass!!!

I miss Eric. Plain, simple. And I actually loved him in this episode. I do hope he gets more screentime in the future. GG has been severely lacking in the cute-younger-brother department.

Most of all? I miss the qualities that GG had in season one. I miss the more convoluted storylines, rather than these one-off standalone eps that don't seem to develop the plot or the characters in any significant ways. This show is nothing like it used to be -- and in fact, it's starting to parallel equal parts The O.C. and 90210 in a big way. Not good, Josh Schwartz, not good.

I'm still hopeful that November Sweeps will bring about a death that will change the characters and move the plot to new territories (we know it's going to happen -- we can only hope it happens during Sweeps, and from the trailers I'm guessing that the next ep is the golden charm). I'm confident that there will be a death and things will change, but it's up in the air as to whether these changes will last for the rest of the season or be boringly resolved in subsequent episodes.

---Adela P.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: Mr. Ferguson Is Ill

2008-11-16T10:03:00.007-06:00

T:SCC continues to be spot-on. I loved the way they chose to execute this episode, from every character's POV, overlapping scenes so that the viewer is able to discover new things with each new perspective.

For me, this episode was like fanfiction squee come to life! It was almost over-the-top in plot development, but done in such a way that I have nothing but joy and respect for the writers of the show. This week's episode took us to places we've never been, places that are outlandish and wonderful and maybe even a little uncomfortable.

Outrageous Plot Point Number 1: Cameron telling Sarah that she'll go talk to John. Cut to the next scene, where we watch Cameron strut down the hallway, then SHED HER COAT and drop it to the ground, revealing a white, semi-transparent, come-hither top as she settles herself beside John ON HIS BED. And FLIRTS a little bit. Just a little, mind you. She is a machine, after all. But it seems apparent as she speaks that she and future-John are definitely doing the dirty, and John's reaction as he talks to her, especially when his breath hitches, makes it seem like the show is definitely going in that direction.

I have very mixed feelings about this. I have never been a Cameron/John shipper. To me, it's just... weird. I mean, she's a machine. And yeah, Cameron walks like a girl, talks like a girl, has pseudo-memories and pseudo-feelings... but I just can't seem to get over that "GAH, NO!" feeling whenever I think about them "together." Amber T. is a total Cameron/John shipper, so I'm a little afraid about what our conversations are going to consist of when this pairing inevitably happens. After all, if John can't get it on with any normal human girl, he's gotta have some*thing* to relieve all that stress and tension, right?

Outrageous Plot Point Number 2: John and Riley take off to Mexico! Okay, we know that Riley's the infatuated girlfriend that will follow him anywhere, but John, even though he has been acting like an angsty little teenager, should know better than to just take off to Mexico without letting anyone know where he's going. And because this is a show about terminators trying to kill John Connor and subsequently end the world, we know that a little trip down to Mexico is pretty much doomed. Riley FINALLY gets alllll caught up in John's business, with gunshots and terminators and wounds and dialogue flying around her that's probably incomprehensible to her. One of my favorite moments? When she's in the backseat of the car and the terminator is firing at them and John's shouting for ammunition, and she has this look of incredulity, probably marveling at the fact that she's being chased down and shot at and John is holding a gun and asking her for shells.

And then, afterward, she still wants to stay with him, despite it all! So I wonder where they're going to take this story now. Is John going to realize that he must break up with Riley, and use Cameron as a means to get over her? Oh, the possibilities. And I actually don't even know how I want this all to play out, because until this episode I didn't care much about Riley, but now, after this, I actually like the girl. What a tangled web.

Outrageous Plot Point Number 3: Ellison driving down to Mexico to help save the day! Finally, some real interaction between him and the Connors. I wonder what kind of role Ellison will play in the coming episodes, and whether Sarah's going to let him join the fight. And how is this going to affect what happens between Ellison, Catherine Weaver, and Skynet?

And oh yeah, there was some spot-on dialogue between Ellison and Sarah toward the end of the ep. The gang is burying Cromartie, and Ellison and Sarah are looking on.

Ellison: What's next?
Sarah: We'll come back down here, bring something with us to destroy it.
Ellison: [looking at John] His name's gonna be on the alert.
Sarah: He's got a lot of names.
Ellison: Then what?
Sarah: There is no then what. Pretend I died again.
Ellison: I lost a lot when you died the first time. My marriage, my career.
Sarah: That's a lot to you?
Ellison: I suppose many people lost those things.
Sarah: You want answers.
Ellison: I just want to know my role in all of this. What happens after this?
Sarah: This is it. There's nothing else behind the curtain. This is what I do, it's all I do. You already know why I do it. I'm sorry for what you lost. But I can't help you get any of it back.

Oh, how my heart clenches!!

Outrageous Plot Point Number 4: After this exchange of dialogue between Ellison and Sarah, Sarah goes to retrieve Cromartie's chip. She sets it down on a rock, takes her gun, and just starts POUNDING at it, letting out these fierce cries of anguish as she's doing so. And John sees her, and the look on his face is empathetic, and sad, and resigned, as he walks over to her and pulls her up and holds her in what has to be the longest hug in television history. (Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but man, it was a LONG hug.)

Finally seeing Sarah lose it was so very satisfying. It's nice to know that she's not a rock, and she's not an uber-bitch all the time. And even though Sarah and John can't be completely reconciled, in this moment, it was a perfect acceptance of one another and their faults, and despite what's going on around them, at least they know each other, and are confident in each other when it comes down to it. I never thought the writers would let us, and John, see Sarah's utter vulnerability.

Outrageous Plot Point Number 5: Cromartie's the one that kicks it?! I didn't see this one coming -- I'd heard rumors and speculations that out of all the characters to die, he would be the one to go, but I almost thought it was a bit of a cop-out. Although I'm so glad that none of the main characters died, ESPECIALLY Derek. (During the final shoot-out at the end I may or may not have been standing, screaming at the TV, "No, NO, NO, not Derek, Derek don't die, DEREK DON'T DIE!") And Cromartie's death was a bit anti-climactic too -- after all the trouble they've been having with the thing, he finally dies with a few gun shot wounds? But either way -- it's interesting that he's gone now (if he truly is!), and I wonder what new enemies the Connors are going to face. Maybe there'll finally be some more interaction between the Connors, Skynet, and Catherine Weaver. Maybe Ellison plays a more malevolent role in this battle than he or the Connors realize.

So all in all, I give this episode a solid 11 out of 10. That's right, it was just that good, and if you're not watching T:SCC by now, you DAMN WELL SHOULD BE. Go buy the season one DVDs, or watch online, or SOMETHING. Especially before the second part of season 2 starts, because apparently T:SCC and Joss Whedon's Dollhouse will be sharing a Friday night slot (if my sources are correct), and really, you can't go wrong with pairing the amazingness of T:SCC with some Whedon action.

---Adela P.

The Tattooist

2008-11-14T21:41:00.006-06:00

Wow. What is there to say about The Tattooist? Well, to start, it has an amazing cover. Jason Behr is staring pensively out from the DVD box, looking hot with his swirly tattoos and clutching a half-naked woman. Honestly, there's no bad there. I'm going to be shallow and admit the concept art was the main reason I rented this. The summary on the back certainly didn't make the film sound all that entertaining.

This movie suffers from its own mediocrity. The Tattooist is worth watching once, but not twice, and it's certainly not going to be on any best of lists. Prepare to be damned with faint praise, movie!

The beginning was promising. Imagine this: a twitchy older man walks down into a flickering, dimly lit basement. He sees an adolescent boy with a black pentagram tattooed on his inner arm cowering behind a pillar. The man (now identified as the boy's father) starts freaking out about the tattoo, screaming that it's of the devil and the boy must pray. This poor kid, looking understandably nervous, does. Of course, that's not enough to save his immortal soul. The tattoo must be cut off! The man proceeds to do so with a gigantic knife. Nice, huh?

The viewer then fast-forwards to the present. Our protagonist Jake Sawyer wakes up in his small apartment and walks naked to the window. He has (ahem) impressive tattoos. The camera pans very deliberately to his left arm where a large scar is visible. Obviously this is the boy from the last scene.

I know it was hard to see this coming, but Jake is a tattoo artist. He specializes in healing tattoos from all over the world. That's an amazing gimmick. Instead of having to say "I got this weirdly shaped tattoo when I was drunk because it looked pretty" a person could lie and say "this tattoo spoke to my soul. It has restorative powers that will heal my body, mind, and spirit. Every penny this cost was a penny well spent!" I approve of this malarkey.

During a Tattoo Trade Fair in Singapore Jake sees a semi-attractive woman buying iced tea. He follows her for no discernable reason and ends up in a tent watching a Samoan man tattoo a random guy. The tattooing implement looks a lot like a stick with pins sticking out of it. Fun for everyone! The Samoan men in the tent proceed to belittle Jake for his "healing" gimmick and wax poetic about the significance of their tattoos. They're condescending in that way religious people can be because they found enlightenment and you haven't.

Their crappy attitude is one of the reasons Jake steals a weird tattoing implement. I have the same impulse around self-righteous people. Unfortunately, Jake manages to cut himself on the stupid thing while making his getaway. Like the magical wound you know it is, this cut WILL NOT HEAL for the rest of the film.

Cue an exposition-y middle section where Jake tattoos about four people whle looking stoic and pained. Seriously, I don't think Jason Behr smiled once during this movie. He's so very tortured. Jake is also having vaguely red-tinged nightmares featuring the stolen tattoing implement and a strange boy. Because of this he decides to find the reasonably attractive woman from the Tattoo Fest and return the pin-stick thingy.

Jake finds Sina (that's her name!) and they instantly connect. She includes Jake in a bunch of cultural Samoan gatherings where he's forced to see her condescending relatives again. Just as an aside, it's relevant to mention this movie was similar to National Geographic documentaries. Information about Samoan customs is disclosed, you hear lots of weird words like pe'a, and you see fascinating ceremonies where eggs are smashed on people's heads as they celebrate becoming men. No, I didn't make that last part up. Sorry if I'm making fun of a culturally relevant ceremony, but come on.

In the meantime, the four lucky people Jake tattooed since receiving his wound of doom are dying horrible inky deaths. Their designs spread like a gangrenous disease and they basically explode. To be fair, it's pretty nifty looking. I liked it.

Jake proceeds to tell Sina his tragic boyhood tale of woe and she's appropriately horrified. He shows her his multiple tattoos and they have healing sex. Except...oh no! Sina wants Jake to give her a tattoo! And Jake agrees, because he doesn't yet realize he's a death bringer! This is the conflict and drama the audience has been waiting for. What will Jake do once he finds out he's consigned his semi-attractive girlfriend to death? Why is he the death bringer? What's up with his dreams? Can there be a happy ending?

I'm not telling. As stated much earlier in my review, this isn't actually a bad movie. I didn't love it, but it's worth watching once. So get thee to a video store and rent The Tattooist, if for no other reason than Jason Behr is hot, you learn about Samoan culture, and you get to see inky deaths.

--amber t.

Supernatural: Wishful Thinking

2008-11-06T20:29:00.002-06:00

Ahem. Ginormous, talking, biopolar teddy bears that attempt to commit suicide? Shenanigans.

And I think that's really all I'm going to say.

November sweeps character death predictions - POTENTIAL SPOILER WARNING

2008-11-03T13:14:00.005-06:00

POTENTIAL SPOILER ALERT

POTENTIAL SPOILER ALERT

POTENTIAL SPOILER ALERT

POTENTIAL SPOILER ALERT

POTENTIAL SPOILER ALERT

POTENTIAL SPOILER ALERT

POTENTIAL SPOILER ALERT

Well, it's November sweeps month, and with November sweeps usually comes some awesome script writing and plot development, and sometimes character death. To quote Poptculture: "During sweeps we can expect more action and violence, more conflict and tears, more romance and one-night stands, and of course plenty of outrageous guest stars." So here are some of my predictions:

Gossip Girl
Sources have confirmed that there will be a character death this season -- tough call as to whether this will occur during sweeps month, however. Entertainment Weekly revealed that the character to die will be either Vanessa, Bart, Nate, Rufus, or Georgina. I have two sources that have confirmed the character is not Vanessa. My money's on either Bart or Nate. I don't think that Nate would be the one to go, because his character actually has great potential -- but apparently Chace Crawford is complaining about his salary, so a sure way to take care of that problem is to just rid the show of his character. Although killing off Bart is predictable, it does make the most sense. This opens up doors for a Lily/Rufus romance, and also paves the way for some major Chuck!angst, which is always fun in teen drama. Also -- if we are to bet on precedence, Josh Schwartz did kill off Old Grandpa on The O.C. (the character of Caleb Nichol, played by Alan Dale), so it makes sense that he'd retrace his footsteps for GG. For more scoop on this, check out Entertainment Weekly and gossipgirlinsider.com.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
I am unsure about character death for this show. Given that the series has been renewed, they might want to hold off on character death for awhile since it's not like they have a huge surplus of characters to choose from -- or at least, they should hold off until the show's end. If someone had to die, I'm guessing that it would be Derek. I could, however, potentially see another scenario in which Cameron turns on them again and they're finally forced to put her down. A character will definitely have to die before the show ends, but I don't think it's necessarily this season. Another possible scenario? Derek dies and Charley steps into the ranks. OR -- girlfriend Riley dies, thus sending John spiraling down a black hole of teenage angst and despair, to which he'll probably respond by becoming a reckless, dangerous, militant shell of who he used to be.

90210
Well, I really thought that Adrianna was going to die last week. I still haven't decided if I'm actually going to stick around to see what happens with this show -- I think it depends on how bored I am in the coming weeks. I don't think they'd give us another death-scare so soon -- although with a show as ridiculous as this, you can never really tell. I could potentially see a future Adrianna death towards the end of the season. Adrianna could get closer to the other main characters as she tries to recover from her addiction, then decide at a party someday "oh, well, maybe just one more time," and then she could die for real. This would ensure that the other characters could actually grieve for her sincerely (and perhaps the viewers, as well), which would increase the show's ranking in the this-is-an-angsty-teenage-drama category. In the very, very far future (like, maybe a couple seasons from now), I predict that Annie could die, given that Shenae Grimes seems to be making the 90210 work environment pretty hellish.

Fringe
I don't predict any character deaths for this show -- after all, there are only three characters worth noting. I will predict, however, that something really good will happen during sweeps month. We're starting to delve more into Olivia's past, and the sudden revelations about her stepfather in the last episode definitely pave the way for some good "daddy-issues" episodes in the future. This will likely not happen during sweeps month, though. I'm actually going to predict that we're going to see Peter's past come to bite him in the ass this month. Here's to hoping!

Heroes
I'm not watching this show anymore, but I'm sure there's going to be a character death. My bet's on Maya, simply because she's annoying and expendable. If the writers still had balls they'd actually kill off a character that everyone likes, much like they did in season 1, and perhaps redeem season 3 a little bit. But it seems the writers of Heroes have long since been castrated, and therefore that's not going to happen. Adam is also an expendable character -- he never really had much purpose in the first place (actually, that whole Hiro-goes-back-in-time plot was pretty pointless too), so my money's on him as well.

Supernatural
No character death -- the only character that's even slightly expendable is Bobby, and I highly doubt they're going to get rid of him. All of the characters seem central to the plot, so it's not really possible to kill any of them off, unless they bring back Ellen or Jo. I'm actually surprised they haven't killed these two ladies off yet, as the Supernatural writers seem to be quite fond of killing off their female characters (thanks to stupid whiny fangirls who don't want Dean or Sam romantically involved with anyone... except each other, for some reason. ::shudder::). For sweeps month, I definitely predict some more Apocalypse action, instead of standalone eps. Hopefully. That would make sense, anyway. And perhaps some major upheaval between Sam and Dean over Sam's use of his demon powers (and by that I mean way more than what we've seen thus far).

True Blood
The season finale is set to air on November 23rd. Character death? The most expendable characters are probably Sam and Jason, but I don't think there will be anymore character death this season. Because if we're looking at the season in proportion, the character death already occurred at the midway-point of the season (Sookie's grandma), which is when November sweeps occur for fall seasons with 22 episodes. I'm banking on a Sookie/Bill breakup. It's not a matter of if it's going to happen, but rather when it's going to happen. And I think they'll close out the season with some nice vampy angst.

Grey's Anatomy
Well, we already know that the writers are pulling the Denny card in honor of sweeps month. What else? Is Izzie going to develop that brain tumor everyone's been talking about? Is she going to suffer some sort of mental breakdown? Or is Denny going to help her realize some kind of inner spiritual truth about herself and cause her to approach her job with renewed vigor and joyfulness? (Oh god, let's hope not.) I don't really have any predictions beyond this as I didn't watch all of season 4 and only watched the premiere of this season, but I'm definitely tuning in for the Jeffrey Dean Morgan action on November 6.

---Adela P.

Supernatural: Season 4 the end?

2008-11-02T10:27:00.011-06:00

It looks like season 4 may be the last one for Supernatural. I feel like I should probably be sad about the fact that this is potentially the end, but I think that if the writers are going in the direction that I feel they're going, there really isn't any room for more after this season's conclusion. With Dean sent to hell in the last season, we all thought, "Wow, where can they possibly go from here?" And the answer should have been obvious: it's Apocalypse time.

I could possibly see the series extending the Apocalypse over two seasons, as Supernatural doesn't seem to be fond of those clean-cut season wrap-ups that other shows are. Season 4 could revolve around Sam slowly sliding down that slippery slope and eventually embracing Darkness in the season finale, and season 5 could pick up at that point, with some heavy Good Dean versus Bad Sam battles with an eventual showdown that either comes down to one or both of the boys dying, or Sam reverting back to the side of Good and helping Dean avert the Apocalypse. But I'm kind of banking that all of this is going to take place in the current season. A part of me is hoping that this will be the last season, because otherwise the show definitely runs the risk of jumping the shark -- BIG time. It seems like the entire series has been leading us up to this point, and if the Apocalypse is averted, where do you go from there? How can you possibly get any better than that? (Although, to be fair, Angel did a really nice job of it.)

---Adela P.

PS - It's up to you guys to decide if you trust a source that accidentally refers to Jensen Ackles as "Jensen Padalecki." I'm sure J2 fangirls will have a field day with that. And now, on that note, I'd like to direct your attention to this lovely button that you can buy at zazzle.com:

Geez, NO WONDER Ackles is so afraid of fangirls. I do not envy the guy.

Supernatural: It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester

2008-11-02T08:52:00.015-06:00

First, I have to mention that I love holiday specials. Love them. Like, REALLY LOVE them. So maybe I'm a little biased when I say that this week's Halloween special of Supernatural was totally made of awesome. But what I like even more is that finally the writers seem to be returning to the narrative arc of the season. For the past few episodes they've entirely overlooked the fact that the Apocalypse is underway and have been doing little standalone eps that really haven't done much for me and haven't furthered the narrative or the canon in any significant ways.

I would like to mention, though, that I recently stumbled upon a very good analysis of the show by a woman who goes by the name of Dodger Winslow, and she may have changed my opinion about the standalone eps. In her analysis, she speculates that perhaps Castiel is the angelic reincarnation of Christ, and that Sam may be the mortal incarnation of Lucifer. She explains that the writers may be using standalone eps to show that every single hunt the boys go on serves a larger purpose, that every decision they make relates to the roles they will play in the coming Apocalypse. I am, in fact, so much in love with Dodger Winslow's speculations that I actually hope they all come to pass. I encourage all of you to read her theories -- although to warn you, they are quite lengthy, quite thinky, quite academic, and may require more than one cup of coffee:

And now, on to my review/recap of this week's ep. Since there were so many things I loved, I'm gonna do this in the good old-fashioned form of a love/hate list. And since there were only three things I didn't like so much about this episode, it's definitely heavy on the love side.

YAY:

1. The teaser. First -- I loved how the dude couldn't resist eating the Halloween candy after his wife told him not to (and even shoved it out of sight into the cupboard to ward him off). Then, when dude ate the candy anyway, and gets a freaking RAZOR BLADE stuck in the roof of his mouth? Ooooh, CRINGE. See what happens when you ignore your wife?

2. The wife, or Mrs. Razorblade as Dean refers to her -- she's a feisty one, actually calling Sam on his bullshittery when he asks if someone might have a grudge against her husband. "If someone wanted to kill my husband, don't you think they'd find a better way than a razor in a piece of candy he MIGHT eat?" And the look Dean shoots Sam in response? To me, it said something along the lines of "She's actually kinda smart, dude, maybe we should... go...." Or perhaps something like, "Not everyone's as big of a dumbass as you think they are, Geek Boy." Good job, momma.

3. Right after the teaser, we cut to the next scene, where Dean enters the hotel room eating candy. Sam scoffs -- "Really? After that guy choked down all those razor blades?" Jared Padalecki's delivery on this line is perfect. In fact, the entire exchange is perfect. Dean's response: "It's Halloween man." Sam: "Yeah, for us every day is Halloween." Dean: "Don't be a downer."

4. Bobbing for apples -- I didn't expect the girl to be boiled alive, only to drown. The boiling part was a nice surprise.

5. The guest appearance of Kyle XY star Jean-Luc Bilodeau. And as a stoner. Can't say I really expected anything else -- but it was definitely a nice surprise to see him venturing out into other roles (even if he is being typecast). It was pretty awesome seeing his character making a bong in art class, too.

6. The explanation for Halloween's existence -- very cool. The witch is going to attempt to summon Samhain, the demon that started this whole Halloween business in the first place. Halloween is apparently the night when the veil between the living and the dead is thinnest. The Celts would wear masks to hide from Samhain, leave candy on their doorsteps to appease him, and carve faces into pumpkins to worship him. He was exorcised years ago -- but now evil witch girl is trying to bring him back. No, Supernatural writers didn't totally follow actual Celtic lore, but it was still pretty awesome. For a real overview of Samhain, visit either wicca.com or crystal-forest.com.

7. The dialogue in this episode is just spot-on.
Sam: Once he's raised, Samhain can do some raising of his own.
Dean: Raising what exactly?
Sam: Dark evil crap and lots of it. And they follow him around like the friggin' pied piper.
Dean: So we're talking ghosts.
Sam: Yeah.
Dean: Zombies.
Sam: Mmm-hmm.
Dean: Leprechauns?
Sam: Dean.
Dean: Those little dudes are scary. Small hands.

8. Dean sitting in his car eating candy. Eating and eating and eating.

9. Dean telling Sam that if he were a 600 year old witch hag and had to choose a costume, his would definitely be a hot cheerleader. The look on Dean's face, and then Sam's face, and then as the camera cuts back AGAIN to Dean's face, and AGAIN to Sam's.... Jensen Ackles does so well with the I'm-in-fantasy-heaven face, and Jared Padalecki's WTF expression is just as good.

10. Dean refusing to dish out candy to the astronaut kid, and then backhandedly telling the kid that he's fat. Astronaut kid: "I want candy." Dean: "I think you've had enough."

11. Sam finally meeting Castiel. I've been waiting SO LONG for this moment.

12. The looks exchanged as Castiel asks Dean if he's willing to let hell rise on earth. Dean remembers where he's been, and Castiel KNOWS that he remembers, but Sam is oblivious to it all. Oh, Sammy.

13. Sam's exclamation -- "You're angels! You're supposed to show mercy!" Uriel's response: "Says who?" Right on, Uriel, right on.

14. Dean and Sam are protesting the demolishing of the town, and Dean says to Castiel, "Oh come on, what, you've never questioned a crap order?" I immediately thought to myself, Well, Dean, it's not like you seemed to question the crap orders of Daddy Winchester, either. You really have no place to talk. And then they WENT there! Castiel says, "Tell me something Dean. When your father gave you an order, didn't you obey?"

15. Of course at the end of the episode we find out that this was all a test for Dean -- but at the moment the angels were telling him what they were going to do, and he stands up to those badass angels with some badassery of his own? Dean's got some balls.

16. Cut to the next scene, where astronaut kid has fucked up Dean's car. Oh man, I could FEEL the tension as Dean slowly approaches his car, lays his hand on it, and screams bloody murder: "ASTRONAUT!!"

17. Brother-love moment. Sam reveals to Dean that he thought the angels would be different, and wonders who God is, what heaven is, what he's been praying to. Dean responds, "Look man, I know you're into the whole God thing. Jesus on a tortilla and stuff like that. But just because there's a couple of bad apples doesn't mean the whole barrel is rotten. For all we know, God hates these jerks. Don't give up on this stuff, is all I'm saying. Babe Ruth was a dick but baseball's still a beautiful game." Then, in classic Dean fashion, lightening the mood: "Well, you gonna figure out a way to find this witch or are you just gonna sit there fingering your bone?"

18. Uriel calling humans mud-monkeys, nothing but plumbing on two legs, and Castiel warning him that he's close to blasphemy. I love that, for the most part, the Supernatural writers seem to be following angel lore pretty closely, depicting them as warriors and soldiers rather than fluffy little guardians. I mean, yes, they ARE guardians of mankind in lore, but they certainly aren't fluffy, and they certainly aren't nice.

19. Sam and Dean fighting over whether Sam should use his powers to defeat Samhain. Then, Dean effectively ending the conversation with one word imploring his brother not to -- "Please" -- and Sam still, at the end of the episode, ignoring his brother's plea.

20. ZOMBIES!!!! ZOMBIES ZOMBIES!! You can never go wrong with zombies. And I'll bet Jean-Luc Bilodeau loved his awesome, squirty-blood death scene.

21. The look between Dean and Sam as Dean witnesses his brother using his demon powers to defeat Samhain. Even though Sam used them to save his and Dean's life, and tried everything he could to defeat Samhain without doing so, I gotta side with Dean on this one. Sam was given an order by God Himself not to use his demon powers, and even if the order doesn't make sense, he's gotta follow it, or he really will fall over to the dark side. Please, Dean, drive some sense into your kid brother before it's too late.

22. Castiel revealing to Dean that he does indeed have questions and doubts, just like Dean does.

23. Castiel telling Dean that he doesn't envy the weight on Dean's shoulders -- the decisions that he's going to have to make in the coming months. And then Castiel suddenly disappears, as he's apt to do, and Dean is once again left alone. The image of Dean sitting by himself in the park says more to me about the rift between Sam and Dean than anything so far -- two benches, side by side, and Sam should be there, but he's not. Even amidst the witty banter, the brotherly moments, there's still that sense that neither one of them is telling each other the full truth, and the distance between them keeps growing more evident with each episode.

NAY:

1. Is there ever gonna be a good witch on this show? Or are witches always evil skank whores in the Supernatural-verse? I guess if they're trying to stick with the Christian theme it makes sense, but maybe they should somehow establish some differences between witches and Wiccans.

2. I don't know why evil witch girl would be willing to raise suspicion by drawing disturbingly evil symbols in her art class. Doesn't seem very smart to me -- or maybe that's just another testament to the prejudice that Supernatural writers have against witches.

3. Uriel threatening to turn Sam to "dust" if he ceases to be useful in the future and continues defying orders. I'm not sure that, given what we know about Sam and about the angels' orders, Uriel has that much authority to do what he threatened. Yes, it was just a threat, but it kind of pisses me off that Uriel is even allowed to make them.

Grey's Anatomy: Jeffrey Dean Morgan back again

2008-10-30T06:51:00.006-05:00

Looks like Daddy Winchester is going to be appearing on Grey's Anatomy for the second time this season, and will be getting more screentime than the two seconds he got in the season premiere. The episode will air on November 6. Way to go, Grey's writers, trying to increase the ratings of your show that completely jumped the shark two seasons ago by bringing back sweet, loveable Denny. And damnation, it's going to work.

I wouldn't want to spoil anybody, so here are a couple of links for your perusal:

Gotta say -- I love that the two news articles I found coincidentally have pretty much the exact same title. But really, what else can you say? Denny's had so many weird "ghosty" appearances that you've gotta wonder if the show's a supernatural one after all. Hey, maybe that will be the big reveal at the end. After all, Meredith should have died a thousand times over, right? Or at least killed herself by now?

Or maybe Papa Winchester didn't really make it out of hell in season 2 of Supernatural -- maybe, just maybe, Papa Winchester is suffering the perpetual hell torment of Izzie whining.

Well, I know that I'll be tuning in on November 6, only because I miss John Winchester quite a bit, and even watching a character that looks like him will warm the cockles of my heart.

---Adela P.

90210: There's No Place Like Homecoming

2008-10-30T06:13:00.007-05:00

I haven't had time to watch my shows this week, and to my utter chagrin, I've actually been excited to sit down, relax, and watch the fallout of Adrianna's death from last week's 90210. So I got up early this morning (5am to be exact), got ready for the day, and then sat down with my scrumptiously healthy breakfast of coffee, oatmeal, and a banana, fished out 90210 from my DVR, reclined in my chair, and pressed play.

What's this? The Wilson family sitting down for the morning meal together? Annie actually studying for her driver's test? Dixon having father/son bonding with Harry? Why isn't Annie tearfully toying with her food, playing the martyr when someone she barely knew and utterly despised OD'd? Why isn't Dixon angrily shaking his head and pounding his fist on the table? Why aren't mom and dad fishing for the right things to say to their distraught, I've-just-lost-my-Kansas-innocence children?

Well, maybe they just haven't found out the news yet. Maybe Adrianna only died just last night, and no one's aware. Maybe that's going to be the big reveal for the episode. Maybe we'll get to see everyone's reactions to the news that the class druggie bitch finally kicked it, and witness firsthand that weird psychological phenomenon -- you know, the one where someone dies and s/he's remembered as a far better person than s/he actually was.

But wait... isn't this... the obligatory Homecoming episode? How can they have a happy Homecoming episode when there's character death? Well, maybe they'll do some cheesy thing where they give her the Homecoming crown as some kind of posthumous hat tilt to the girl they all loved to hate. "Thanks, Adrianna, for being a world class bitch druggie, and even though we hated you and you ruined many lives, our school will just not be the same without you."

Yes, I tried to deny it. Though all signs pointed to the obvious, I tried REALLY hard to deny it. And then BOOM. I'm hit with those cataclysmal words, the words that send any teen drama into the spiraling vortex of death: "She almost died." Followed by: "She's going to court-ordered rehab."

She ALMOST died? I'm sorry, but does the picture to the left look like someone who's ALMOST dead? Please. And rehab, already? And does this mean we have to actually WATCH Adrianna go through rehab? And Naomi is completely off the hook? (Oh, except for the DETENTION part -- and do we really have to watch her take detention? GAH.)

I've officially lost all interest in this show. I thought that maybe -- MAYBE -- they could pull it back into something vaguely resembling a teen drama with some good old fashioned character death, but alas, no.

So I bid you farewell, 90210, the show that pretends to be a teen drama but is actually a gooey, sugary cookie dough concoction of 7th Heaven, Party of Five, and Full House. Farewell, and good riddance. I gave you every chance I could, and clearly it was more than you deserved.

---Adela P.

What's up with Shepherd Book?

2008-10-24T09:30:00.009-05:00

If there was ever a question that has dominated the minds of Firefly fans since the show's unceremonious and undue cancellation, it is this: Who exactly is Shepherd Book? What secrets is the man hiding? Where did he come from?

Well, fans will soon get their answers to those questions... via comic books! Joss Whedon has already blessed Firefly fans with comics on the series -- "Better Days" and "Those Left Behind" -- and now it looks like he'll finally be revealing Book's past to fans in a three-issue online comic which will be called "The Shepherd's Tale." The comic will be released sometime next year.

Read the full scoop here.

Alyson and Alexis are having a babbbby!

2008-10-24T07:25:00.004-05:00

It's time for Alyson Hannigan and Alexis Denisof to follow in the footsteps of the rest of today's Hollywood celebrities -- yes, they are expecting their first child!

Tons of websites are confirming the news (which is now only two days old, so hurray for me getting on the ball of actual "news"), so here are links to just a few of them:

I didn't even realize that there was such a thing as the "Celebrity Baby Scoop" website. Something about that just disturbs me.

Quarantine

2008-10-22T23:10:00.005-05:00

There haven't been many amazing new horror movies in 2008. I didn't love The Strangers (a total rip-off of Them), Prom Night, Shutter, One Missed Call or The Eye (to name only a few). This could be attributed to the fact that they were all remakes, but I firmly believe some remakes can be spectacular (Dawn of the Dead, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre). I did love The Ruins and The Cottage, but two decent horror flicks does not a good year make.

That said, I'm not going to lie. I've seen enough bad movies that I can find good qualities in even the most pointless dreck. The Eye wasn't horrible, it was just more drama then horror. The Strangers had a great beginning before it became boring and pointless. Shutter was tragically dull until the last half hour, but I really enjoyed the last half hour, so. Added bonus: Joshua Jackson was one of the main characters, and I've watched far worse for him (Dawson's Creek, to my ever-increasing shame, and now Fringe). Prom Night had Johnathon Schaech. One Missed Call had pretentious dialogue and spoiled characters and plot holes and...well, ok. One Missed Call just sucked. It had no redeeming features. My retinas burned.

After all this disappointment I didn't want to get my hopes up for Quarantine. To my surprise, however, this movie is completely worth getting excited over. Quarantine is a remake of the Spanish film {REC} which has already won numerous prizes at festivals like the Sitges and Fantasporto. The original is not yet available in the States or I would have Netflixed it already.

The plot is relatively simple. A news reporter and cameraman are shadowing and filming the LA Fire Department for a night. A medical call comes in and the reporter and cameraman tag along with some firemen to investigate. When they reach the building chaos ensues and the death toll begins.

Seriously. That's all there is to the plot. There are explanations about the various shenanigans but I don't want to ruin the movie. Suffice it to say it's a bit like zombies on crack. I suppose technically they're not the undead, but the infected are very very sick and want to bite and eat you. You say potato, I say potahto.

I've been reading some negative reviews on this movie and I have to say I'm baffled. A large number of people don't like the unsteady handheld camera work. This is understandable, as watching Quarantine and Cloverfield and other movies of their ilk can be headache-inducing. That said, Quarantine is from the point of view of a cameraman who is terrified for his life. Of course the camera work is going to be unsteady.

Other reviewers have mentioned the film has a slow beginning. I don't mind that it takes time for the horror to begin. It gives the audience a chance to identify with the characters and feel empathy for them. Without that, a person may as well be watching random scenes of carnage. And while that can be fun too (no, I'm not actually a psychopath, thanks for asking) I prefer to be emotionally invested.

Enough with the reasons not to watch. This movie had a great cast. There were so many actors and actresses from other horror films! Jennifer Carpenter (Dexter, The Exorcism of Emily Rose) did a terrific job as the reporter Angela. I also recognized Jay Hernandez(Hostel), Johnathon Schaech (The Forsaken, Prom Night), and Rade Serbedzija (The Eye).

So why should a person watch Quarantine? The reasons are as follows: it makes you jump, it's an adrenaline rush, it has pretty people, it has pretty people dying gruesomely, it has a large body count, it has government paranoia and it has zombies. Zombies win at everything. Okay, not everything (I saw Diary of the Dead) but still. Zombies!

P.S. A word of warning: if you like being surprised, do NOT read the movie poster or watch any previews of this movie. Some idiotic higher-up thought giving away the ending was a good idea. Moron.

P.P.S. When I review Halloween 4 next (maybe, unless I can't bear to rewatch) there will be many many spoilers. Read at your own peril.

--Amber T

Olympic gold medalist Nastia Luikin to guest star on Gossip Girl

2008-10-22T14:31:00.005-05:00

This is apparently old news -- as in two months old -- but this is the first I'm hearing about it. (I seem to find news wayyy after it's actual news. What's up with that?)

I just happen to be completely obsessed with gymnastics, and Nastia Liukin has been one of my favorite gymnasts since she tumbled her way onto the junior elite scene way back when. As a close follower of her career, I'm actually really excited to see her guest star on Gossip Girl, although I usually have major issues with this kind of "cross-referencing." I mean, let's be real here. Just because someone happens to be really good at gymnastics (or soccer or football or whatever), or just because they happen to be a great singer, does not mean that they should be so privileged as to land guest spots on our favorite television shows. (And not necessarily just as actors -- I literally slammed my palm to my forehead in despair when Michelle Branch had her little stint in season 6 of Buffy.)

I'm just going to post the article I found:

Olympic gymnast Nastia Liukin in "Gossip Girl" role
By Larry Fine

Olympic all-round gymnastics champion Nastia Liukin has landed a guest role on popular TV teen drama "Gossip Girl," describing it as one of her coolest thrills since winning five gold medals at the Beijing summer games.

Liukin, who turns 19 later this month and aspires to do some modeling and acting, said she was not sure if her role on the show would go beyond the one episode.

The "Gossip Girl" gig came totally by chance when she and some friends were chatting about the show, which depicts the lives of rich young teens in New York City. "I was in Los Angeles having dinner with a bunch of my friends and the producers of 'Gossip Girl' were sitting at the table next to me," Liukin told reporters before being named Sportswoman of the Year by the Women's Sports Foundation on Tuesday.

"So they sent over a note saying 'Congratulations. Keep watching "Gossip Girl'. Then the next day they contacted my management and the next thing I know I have a guest role on 'Gossip Girl.' "I'm gonna get to film 'Gossip Girl' next time I'm here on October 21."

"I was going to play myself and then they thought it would be cool to give me a character," she said. "A bunch of my friends always watch, so to actually be on it, it's really cool." "Gossip Girl", currently in its second season, is one of the most talked about shows on the fledgling CW network in the United States and is also watched in 30 nations in Europe, Asia and South America.

Liukin has been on a whirlwind schedule since the Olympics, performing in a U.S. gymnastics tour and designing a fashion line called 'Nastia Gold.'

Again, I'm excited about it, simply because I happen to love Nastia. But I can understand why people might be pissed. Thoughts, anyone?

---Adela P.

Gossip Girl: Chuck in Real Life

2008-10-20T21:44:00.004-05:00

This week's ep of GG was definitely a step up from last week's, although I was still disappointed with Serena's storyline. She was a full-fledged bitch for all of two episodes (if that) and then was back to woah-is-me, I'm-trying-to-be-a-good-person-now S. I felt better when S rebelled against her mother and Bart and embarrassed them both at their publicity party, but watching her make nice with them at the end of the episode made me want to hurl some off-colored maledictions at the screen.

I was excited to FINALLY see some Eric screentime, although it wasn't nearly enough for me. I hope the writers continue to develop his character and his relationship with boyfriend Jonathan.

I could definitely see some Chuck/Vanessa action occurring in the future, especially after Blair refused to utter those damning words that she demanded of Chuck at the beginning of the season. It would be interesting to see some more not-so-healthy rivalry between Vanessa and Blair, although Chuck's gonna have to step up his game if he wants to get Vanessa to trust him again.

Surprisingly, I actually LIKED Dan in this episode! Finally. Okay, yes, he's still a pretentious jerk, and he still regards himself in way too high esteem, but it's hard to be annoyed with him when he's trying so hard to help Nate out. Maybe both Nate and Dan are just that desperate for a friend, but the compassion bit always seems to make me forgive cheesiness, unlikeliness, and drastic departures from realistic characterization. I seem to have a thing for people opening their homes to teenagers who have no where else to go -- hence my rather unhealthy obsession with The O.C. And let's face it. As Crissy Calhoun states in her blog about tonight's episode, "The slash fiction just writes itself with D and N sleeping under the same roof." With this new development comes ENDLESS possibilities.

---Adela P.

T:SCC: The Tower is Tall but the Fall is Short

2008-10-20T20:18:00.005-05:00

I'm so very pleased that Derek finally got some action tonight -- although it's disappointing to see that Jessie appears to be a deceptive little biatch. Hopefully it's all a big misunderstanding. I'm almost tempted to read some spoilers to see how long Stephanie Jacobsen remains on the scene, but I'd hate to ruin what's ahead. I guess I'll just have to hold out and hope all ends well. Some new blood on the show would be nice.

The elevator scene was the funniest thing I've ever seen on the show. Cameron and another terminator have been beating the crap out of each other in the elevator, when suddenly the doors open to let in a couple of women and a little boy in a bright tye-dyed shirt. Summer Glau does a particularly awesome job at looking like a robot, eyes wide and gazing at nothing. The other terminator pulls her shoulder back into its socket in front of the little boy, and while the other women are occupied with their own business, the little boy simply stares at the two disheveled terminators. The elevator doors open again, the women walk out, but the boy is mesmerized by Cameron and the other terminator -- until one of the women reaches in and unceremoniously tugs him out of the elevator, and he can only watch as the elevator doors begin to close and the two start going at it again. The women never notice a thing.

Made of awesome. And bonus points for Cameron completely twisting and contorting the other machine into a giant terminator-pretzel.

The greatest part about this episode? Seeing John finally deal with his baggage, and finding out what actually happened in the beginning of "Samson and Delilah." It's not as though we weren't expecting to find out that John had been the one who killed the dude in that episode, but it was never totally clear whether it was he or Sarah that did it. To find out that it was indeed John helps to explain why the kid's been acting like such an irresponsible twit this whole season -- PTSD mixed with a healthy dose of teenage angst and the weight of the world on his shoulders? No wonder he's got issues.

Seeing Derek connect with John was so nice, even though Derek didn't actually speak to him directly. Though we knew that Derek most likely has dealt with the same depression/PTSD that John currently is experiencing, having that all come out in this episode in such a perfect way, and after such a long wait, was so satisfying. It's good to know that Derek can see what's going on with the kid even if Sarah can't, and it's doubly nice to know that he's willing to face Sarah's wrath and voice his opinions even when he knows they won't be well received.

I sincerely hope that character death doesn't come with the season renewal. I really do feel like Derek would be the one to go, which is so unfortunate given that he is my favorite character (okay, so it's a toss-up between him and John... but at this point, I really can't imagine T:SCC without Derek).

And now I'd just like to say again -- YAY for Fox renewing T:SCC. I couldn't be more pleased! Now we only have to hope that T:SCC isn't going to air at the same time as American Idol come January, 'cause that would just be unfair.

---Adela P.

Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles Renewed!!

2008-10-20T07:58:00.006-05:00

Good news for all -- Fox has ordered 9 new episodes of T:SCC! The new episodes are set to air early next year. For the full scoop, check out these links:

Gossip Girl, Supernatural, Heroes, Fringe

2008-10-18T10:50:00.010-05:00

This week has been busy busy busy for me, so I have not had time to review until today. I've finally spent some quality time with my DVR and am ready to review this week's episodes of Gossip Girl, Supernatural, Heroes, and Fringe. I unfortunately don't have the time or energy to write very long reviews this time around, but I definitely am jonesing to post my thoughts. I'm sad to say, however, that my thoughts aren't going to be terribly positive this time around. So without further ado:

Gossip Girl: "New Haven Can Wait": Failure.

Blair and Serena hugging and making up? I'm so not entertained. Jenny and Rufus compromising and "understanding" one another? Boring. Nate telling Chuck that Dan is "pretty cool"? Annoying, especially since Dan's been acting like a total doof this season.

I'm truly sad to say that this week's episode of GG was not very characteristic of the show at all. In fact, it's like last week's 90210 and this week's GG switched spots -- 90210 had all of the unnecessary and addicting drama, and this week's GG read like some weird public service announcement for little tweens to put aside differences -- forgive! forget! compromise! BORING. And certainly not what I expect from Josh Schwartz.

I'm also unimpressed lately with the fact that all of Blair's scheming and conniving is getting her absolutely nowhere. Since when does Blair fail at being a colossal bitch? Since when does she suck so horribly at making everyone's lives miserable? She should be rising and challenging Queen S for her throne instead of whining and acting like a three year old brat.

Redeeming factor #1: Chuck's storyline, as always, did not disappoint. For some reason, seeing Chuck manipulate and control everything around him just never gets old. My favorite part of the episode: when Chuck hands the frat boys their asses with the incriminating photos. "You are now under the control of Chuck Bass. I own you." Very nice delivery.

Redeeming factor #2: The cat-fight between Serena and Blair, in which Serena nastily tears the headband off of Blair's head and says something to the effect of "I hate that stupid headband." Does this mean we're finally doing away with those awful things?

Supernatural: "Monster Movie": Failure.

Sometimes it works to have those "let's play with our show" episodes. Buffy certainly had a few -- "Once More With Feeling," "The Wish," "Hush" -- but the difference between these episodes and Supernatural's "Monster Movie" is that the execution of the Buffy episodes were actually a part of the show's canon itself. Demons brought about the events of those episodes, thus making the way they were filmed both believable and brilliant. "Monster Movie" was filmed in the way it was for laughs and nothing more.

I have a feeling that the writers wanted to give viewers a break from the ultra-seriousness of last season, as well as preparing us for what's ahead. The episode reminded me a lot of the Angel season 4 episode "Spin the Bottle." Season 4 of Angel was basically one giant narrative arc, and there were very few episodes in which the audience could take a break from the dramatic and heartbreaking events that were unfolding. "Spin the Bottle" was the perfect way to nudge the plot along while still giving the audience a touch of humor that would not be readily accessible to them for the rest of the season.

"Monster Movie," unfortunately, did not further the plot along in any way. The episode was totally removed from the season's narrative, and the characterizations of Dean and Sam were terrible. Dean was a stereotypical horny schoolboy in this episode. Because he was so preoccupied with hitting on the hot bartender, he failed to discover who the bad "guy" was until after s/he drugged him and it was too late, even though it was obvious from the beginning that s/he was e-val. And Sam? Well, I don't even know what they were trying to do with Sam in this episode. To me, he seemed almost like an afterthought.

As I was discussing this episode with my cousin Amber T, she pointed out that previous standalone "monster" episodes of Supernatural at least still furthered the

narrative along. In season 1, the boys never forgot that they were searching for their dad. It was never "put to the side" when the writers wanted to have some fun. In the season 3 episode "Mystery Spot," viewers got to laugh a little bit as Sam dealt with Dean's death over and over again, with Sam getting more and more frustrated every day and the constant playing of that annoying song "Heat of the Moment" (which Supernatural viewers will never be able to hear the same way again). But even in the midst of all the fun in "Mystery Spot," the tragedy of Dean's impending descent to Hell never went away.

What makes "Monster Movie" even more disappointing is that it came after a particularly awesome episode, "Metamorphosis." Dean claims at the beginning of "Monster Movie" that finally he and Sammy are going back to their roots, just "fighting monsters" and having fun. But wasn't that last week's episode? In "Metamorphosis," the writers used the monster-of-the-week to say something about Sam, to move the plot along without being completely obvious about it. The episode was heartwrenching and brilliant, and I'm truly regretful that I haven't had time to review it, because it was probably my favorite episode of the season thus far.

There are so many other problems I had with "Monster Movie," but truth be told, I just don't feel like getting into it anymore. The one bonus? Because this episode did not further the canon in any way, I feel comfortable just pretending it never happened. I hereby erase this episode from my mind.

Heroes: "Angels and Monsters": Failure.

In fact, every episode beyond the premiere so far has been a total and complete failure. The beauty of Heroes's season 1 good/evil dichotomy has been replaced with post-structuralism -- no absolute truths, nothing is black and white. Okay, fine. But I feel that in a show like this, villians should just be villians. I'm not appreciating seeing Sylar on the side of the good guys, and I'm also skeptical of the fact that everyone is so willing to work with Sylar, knowing all of the harm he's done. In fact, the writers are doing a terrible job of portraying any of the characters realistically. All of the characters seem to be acting in ways that are completely contrary to how they have been developed.

Sadly, I think I am done with this show. And after such a promising premiere episode, I have to say I'm more than a little disappointed. It's going to be hard to let go of this series.

And another thing: Meredith Gordon? ENOUGH with the random "I'm going to show off my fire power" moments.

Fringe: "Power Hungry": On The Brink

This week's ep of Fringe was just plain boring. Fringe seems to be following a pretty typical formula thus far -- weird events take place, call in Olivia and Crew, Walter figures out what's going on amidst general moments of absentmindedness and angsty-yet-affectionate father/son interaction. The only way they seem to be stepping beyond this is with the appearance of Agent John Scott, who died in the first episode. Olivia continues to see Scott's apparition throughout the episode, and we're not sure if that's going to be a regular thing or if it will eventually go away as Olivia's mind "expels" him. At the end of the episode, he (or his apparition, however you want to look at it) leads her to a basement in a dark side of town filled with files and

records. Apparently, he had been doing his own investigations. The episode ends with Olivia finding an engagement ring which she assumes (as does the audience) was meant for her, and it leaves everyone wondering just who Agent John Scott really was.

The only reason this episode wasn't a failure is because of Scott's return, and the fact that it seems like the writers are finally trying to flesh out Olivia's character by having her experience that emotional trauma we've all been waiting for. The rest of the plot, however, was boring and familiar. If the writers don't step it up soon, I'm sensing cancellation.

---Adela P.

Dolly Dearest

2008-10-13T20:53:00.009-05:00

Or, as an alternate title: How I Learned that a Killer Doll Movie Can Actually Disappoint Me.

I'll admit, it's not as catchy or succinct as Dolly Dearest, but I feel it expresses my true feelings rather well. I'm (only slightly) ashamed to admit this, but I LOVE killer doll movies. Child's Play 1-5? I own them all, and except for the misstep that was Child's Play 3 I feel they are all cinematic masterpieces. Hell, I'll even watch Child's Play 3 over more deserving horror movies because it has Chucky in it. The Puppet Master box set? I had to own it despite the fact that it went out of print right away due to pesky licensing issues. I'm still upset Leech Woman died. Dolls? One of my favorite horror movies of all time and a lovely fairy tale for the discerning adult. Reincarnation? Not only did it feature a creepy doll but it was actually decent. Dead Silence? All about Billy the ventriloquist dummy for me, baby.

Now that I've probably creeped you out and made you afraid to know me I'll take it a step further. You may be saying to yourself, how is that possible? Well, know this. I actually bought a decent amount of these dolls. I own six Puppet Master figures, one Chucky doll that looks like he wants to eat your face, a pretty princess Tiffany doll that talks and Mr. Punch. If I could find Billy he'd be mine as well.

Am I going to look for a (snort) Dolly of my very own? In a word, no. I wouldn't disgrace my collection with the Sanzia devil child doll.

Oh well. Let the review begin. First, there's lame shenanigans where an archaeologist opens a forbidden tomb and cheesy rays shoot out. The archaeologist dies, of course, but something escaped! Oh no! By the by, try and appreciate this death scene. It's one of only three in the entire movie.

We then meet our heroes, the Read family. There's Marilyn the mommy, Eliot the daddy, their son Jimmy the annoying know-it-all seventh grader, and the precious girl-child Jessica, hereafter also known as demon bait. It's your typical nuclear family. Eliot has decided to leave a decent career behind in the USA to start his own doll making business in Mexico. Not dolls of his own design, mind you, but rather those of a dead doll-maker with actual talent. I shouldn't be so hard on Eliot; after all, he's an entrepreneur.

Sadly for Eliot, when he finally makes it to Mexico he finds out the "plant" is in fact a decaying warehouse filled with crap. There are a few dolls in the warehouse that are still in decent shape and he gifts his precious little Jessica with one. Personally, I would have been afraid of the disgusting insects that were no doubt nesting and laying eggs in Dolly Dearest's hair, but that's just me. I'm fastidious that way.

Jessica takes her new best friend home and almost immediately starts acting strangely. She insists on staying in the outdoor playhouse with her dolly all the time and generally starts acting possessed. The religious Mexican maid Camilla (like that's not a racist cliche) senses the evil within Jessica almost immediately. She invites a priest to the Read home to bless the house. As one would expect, little Jessica freaks out and starts screaming bloody murder. Her mother Marilyn finds this a bit strange, but basically takes it in stride.

Various "scares" ensue, with Dolly running around in her tiny patent Mary Janes and talking with the voice of a demon. Momma Marilyn becomes more and more suspicious, but Jessica has daddy wrapped around her little finger and thinking mommy needs therapy. There are still no more deaths to make this bore-fest more palatable.

Finally Camilla dies by first falling down the basement stairs (Child's Play 2, anyone?) then being electrocuted in a handy tub of water. This is death number two for those keeping score.

There's another archaeologist (Rip Torn) who's trying to find out how his colleague died and what exactly the tomb (from the beginning of the movie) holds. Jimmy the know-it-all bothers Rip until he's allowed to become an "assistant". Through Rip, Jimmy finds out the tomb may hold the Sanzia devil child. This child would have the body of an infant and the head of a goat. Why would the Sanzia bring this blasphemy to the mortal plane? Because Sanzia means "devil on Earth", of course, and they're Just. That. Evil.

If any of this is sounding familiar, it's probably because Dolly Dearest only stole from the best. There's hints of The Amityville Horror (blessing the house), The Omen (devil child with the head of an animal) and Child's Play (duh). If only Jessica had vomited pea soup. Then the possession trilogy would have been complete!

More boring and inconsequential stuff happens to move the plot along at its glacial pace. Then, however, something amazing and beautiful occurs. Eliot leaves the refurbished doll warehouse to go home for the night and his Mexican worker stay behind to heat up a burrito (I know, I know). The remaining dolls in the warehouse start to play evil games on the Mexican worker in their quest to kill him.

(On a side note, it's relevant to mention the devil child inhabits all the dolls and Jessica as well. There isn't just one evil doll, there's one evil devil child with power over dolls and small stupid children.)

The Mexican worker tries and tries to get away but it is futile. This death scene is magnificent, so I'll explain every step.

1. Dolly Dearest turns on sewing machine and punctures Mexican worker's hand. He screams in abject terror, despair and pain.

2. Mexican worker then tears of his shirt in a dramatic moment, showing the audience his hairy, pale, out-of-shape chest and falls to the ground.

3. Mexican worker proceeds to pinch his nipple. Let me reiterate: Mexican worker proceeds to pinch his nipple.

4. Mexican worker then summarily dies.

You find out later that he croaked because of a heart attack, but trust me. It's better if you draw your own conclusions. It looked like he had the big O by pinching his nipple and then happily died. If you must see Dolly Dearest, do it for this scene. It's almost worth it.

Blah blah blah, exposition. The family and Rip Torn the archaeologist finally realize the spirit inhabiting Jessica and the dolls is evil. The dolls try and torment the family but are largely ineffectual and easily dispatched. One dolly is destroyed by a shotgun blast and the rest go up in flames when Eliot sets fire to the warehouse. Evil is destroyed, everyone lives happily ever after, the end.

To be fair, the dolls are horrific, creepy, and the only part of the movie done well. There's one scene in particular where Dolly basically does the possession headshake of doom and it's one of the ugliest things I've ever witnessed. This film could have been so much better because the evil dolls are genuinely scary.

I wouldn't watch this movie again on a dare. Next time I'll just rewatch Chucky 3 instead because it was 100% better than this piece of drivel.

--Amber T

Castle: New TV Series with Nathan Fillion

2008-10-09T12:07:00.010-05:00

ABC has picked up a new show for 2009 called "Castle," which will star Firefly's Nathan Fillion!

Here's an excerpt from castletv.net:

Richard "Rick" Castle [Nathan Fillion], a rock star of the literary world, is suffering from a case of writers block after killing off the main character in his novels and is struggling to come up with a replacement.

Castle had grown weary of having it all, “fame, fans and females”, when he was approached by the attractive Detective Kate Beckett [Stana Katic] of the NYPD to help catch the copy-cat killer staging murders based on scenes from his novels.

Keeping Castle grounded are his mother [Susan Sullivan], teenage daughter Alexis [Molly C. Quinn], poker playing friends James Patterson, Sue Grafton, and Stephen King and his ex wife Gina [Monet Mazur] who is also his editor.

How sweet would it be if Castle's poker playing author buddies were ACTUALLY Patterson, Grafton, and King? I'd tune in for that even if Fillion wasn't leading the way.

---Adela P.

90210: Model Behavior and Hollywood Forever

2008-10-08T22:00:00.015-05:00

I had every intention of quitting 90210 after this week, and then horror of all horrors, they actually had a halfway decent episode. I know, it's shocking. To console myself, I've decided to attempt to preface every 90210 blog entry with a picture of Annie looking like a mindless twit. How'd I do on the first run?

Since I only got around to watching last week's episode a couple days ago, I'll go ahead and review both last week's and this week's in one blog. Last week's sucked in every possible way.

Model Behavior: Why This Episode Sucked

1. All of the various ways in which it attempted to copy Gossip Girl were so annoying. Silver constantly referencing her blogging makes me want to vomit -- the position of GG is already taken, thank you very much, and anyway, Silver doesn't have near the appeal that anonymous GG has. And why would anyone care what Silver thinks anyway, considering that Silver's miss tough badass -- correct me if I'm wrong, but usually that reputation should mean that students don't care about her, and coincidentally she shouldn't care about the other students either. Obviously the writers have misled the audience (to whatever extent that the audience can be "misled" considering how much they've dumbed this show down to suit tweenie fans) -- Silver's NOT miss badass but is a poor imitation thereof. Also, the constant use of the first letters of the character's names "N," "E," "A," etcetera, is a total ripoff of GG, again.

2. The fashion show. Yes, it is a staple of the teen drama -- The O.C., One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl -- but simply yuck for 90210 even trying to measure up. Too bad for them that Gossip Girl's fashion show episode aired so closely to theirs, 'cause it makes their failure even more obvious if that's even possible.

3. Random Gothic Chick coming up to Annie at the beginning of the episode, just raving about her performance in the musical. "Oh my god, it's like you were speaking just to me." Stereotypical gothic chick wouldn't be caught dead at the school musical, she would never be so cheerful, and she would certainly never speak to "I'm so happy all the time that I squeal and make odd facial expressions" Annie.

4. Teachers speaking to each other about Adrianna's personal business in the hallway where gossip hounds like Silver can eavesdrop and post it on their blogs.

5. Model agent dude's comment to Silver: "Most girls would give up their cell phones for a professional modeling contract." Just yuck. As if my cell phone can be equated with my soul.

6. The fact that Silver was even offered a modeling contract, despite the fact that she'd have to put out to get it.

7. Naomi's mom, Tracy, catches Naomi and Ethan in a compromising position in bed together and says nothing. Nice parenting skills, mom.

8. Adrianna apologizing to Annie for her behavior in the last episode -- obviously Adrianna's a lame badass bitch and doesn't deserve the title anymore.

9. Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth making nice. Boo.

10. Annie getting asked to read for a slasher film. (Of course, it would have been nice if she had gotten the part, and then maybe snippets of the film would have been shown in the episode - like the part where she gets hacked to tiny bits. That would have been okay.)

11. Annie's dramatic hand gestures.

12. Annie's facial expressions.

13. Annie's face.

14. Annie.

Now on to this week's episode -- I'll start off with things that were totally lame, and end with the reasons why the episode didn't completely fall off the handle and die like every other episode.

Hollywood Forever: Why This Episode Didn't Entirely Suck Although It Still Wasn't Great

1. The appearance of new character Kimberly MacIntyre, who at first looks like she's a new student but actually turns out to be an undercover cop that Annie's principal dad, Harry, brought into the picture to find out who's dealing drugs in the school. In retrospect, it's sort of amusing that Kimberly was so obviously trying to see if Ryan was having naughty schoolgirl fantasies throughout the episode, though thankfully he ignored her attempts at flirting, 'cause gross. I'll laugh if she continues to have a regular role in the series, especially if Ryan doesn't figure out what's going on.

2. When Ryan asks Kimberly to introduce herself and Kimberly says, "I have three piercings but I won't say where. I like tacos." Ryan responds, "I like tacos also." Kimberly asks, "Any piercings?" And awkward silence ensues.

3. The teacher forcing the two jocks to be a same-sex couple raising a fake baby.

4. Annie and Ethan are of course "married" for the fake baby assignment, and Ethan is made to be a stay-at-home dad, while Annie is a powerful attorney. Ethan asks Teacher if he has a hobby, and Teacher replies, "Your hobby is your baby."

5. Silver and Dixon's conversation on horror movies. Dixon: "I don't do horror movies." Silver: "Scared?" Dixon: "No, I think they're stupid." Silver: "A) Sometimes that's the beauty of them, and B) clearly you just haven't been initiated properly."

6. Tracy (Naomi's mom) and Harry (Annie's dad) wanting to hire a private investigator to find their long lost not-love child.

7. When Annie goes to audition for her slasher film and it's revealed that the "fake" acting Annie does is actually the same as Grimes's "real" acting, and this explains everything.

8. Instead of the writers just endlessly alluding to the fact that there will be needless drama in the future, there actually WAS needless drama. Finally. Because let's face it, that's what teen soaps are all about.

9. Psycho playing in the cemetery, on the wall of a mausoleum. Can't go wrong there.

10. The blind date chick that Ryan met on the internet. She's ditzy and ridiculous and an airhead and O.M.G. she's the girl from the herpes commercial, and now all the students know that Ryan had a date with Herpes Girl.

11. Naomi covering up for Adrianna's drug use and getting caught and arrested.

12. Adrianna finally ODing.

13. Adrianna possibly dying.

14. Naomi leaving a message on Adrianna's voicemail at the end of the episode, screaming at her because Adrianna didn't show up at the attorney's office to tell the truth about what had happened -- except that Adrianna's cell phone is still in her hand as she's ODing and probably dying, and Naomi's screaming, "I hope you die, you're dead to me!" Decent.

Lameness:

1. Obviously the show didn't learn anything from its fashion show episode last week because Silver and Ryan appear together in a scene and both are wearing ugly shirts with stripes on them, and wow those stripes clash with each other. Very bad choice, costume designers.

2. Silver painting one of Kelly's walls black. Does anyone really think it's a good idea to paint one of your sister's walls black while she's out of town? Methinks the writers are just trying to find a way for Silver to get in trouble with big sister.

3. Silver's sudden obsession with horror movies, though it hasn't been alluded to at all in previous episodes -- as any horror fiend will tell you, if you're really that into horror everyone's gonna know pretty soon after meeting you. Her extra special explanation to Dixon that horror movies are important to her and she just wants to "share something that's important" to her with him clearly indicates that she's proclaiming herself a horror fiend, and wow, can't say that I've seen any evidence that she's the horror type at all.

4. The fact that no one thought to take Adrianna's cell phone out of her hand as they're frantically trying to resuscitate her. Lame, but also amusing.

So that's all -- and I guess I'll stick around just to see if Adrianna really did kick the bucket or if the writers will be totally lame and let her live. I'm pretty much hoping that Adrianna will die horribly and that Naomi will be so guilty about it that she'll start acting like a total bitch to everyone and try to ruin lives like she was meant to do in the first place. Here's to hoping!

---Adela P.

True Blood: Sparks Fly Out

2008-10-08T09:29:00.006-05:00

True Blood is still cheesy, but is also addicting, as most HBO shows are. In this week's episode, we see more into Bill's past, and surprise surprise, Bill was turned into a vampire against his will. Hence the emo "I is the lonely vampire, feel sorry for meeee" stereotype. Sookie and Bill's relationship is the dullest storyline in the series at the moment, with Sookie playing hard to get and Bill suffering from his unrequited infatuation. At least Sookie isn't completely head over heels for the guy like she was at first, though. They played that scene out for a couple of episodes and then let it go, which is not typical for vampire/human romances, so kudos to that.

I'm pretty sure that Sam is the one who's been killing the girls in town -- I mean, rolling around in the dead girl's bed and smelling the sheets? That sure screams psycho to me. It's pretty disappointing, though, that Sam was portrayed as such a nice guy and so in love with Sookie in the first few episodes, and now it looks like he might just be a sociopath. I wonder why Sookie wasn't able to read his thoughts and figure this out? If I'm right about this I will actually be disappointed, because up until last week and this week's episode, I actually did like the guy, and I thought he was cute. Man, sometimes my judge of character is just not stellar.

Bill's backstory was predictable and sort of lame, but I gotta say that Bill is so much hotter as a human than as a vampire -- more props I must give to the writers, because, as we all know, it's usually the other way around.

Lafayette and Tara are my favorite characters at the moment. They are cousins, both working at the bar (Lafayette is the chef and Tara is a bartender who basically forced Sam to give her a job in the premiere episode). Both are pretty snooty, and I'm enjoying watching their interactions with surly customers. Lafeyette is gay, and at one point a customer sends back a burger, claiming that the burger might have AIDS. Lafayette gets pissed, and storms out of the kitchen with said burger, shouting "Who ordered the hamburger of AIDS?" He finds the guys, shouts that they're gonna eat whatever he prepares for them or get the hell out, then tosses the burger in the guys lap. Take that, self-righteous bitches.

Ever since I complained that the series wasn't utilizing the snythetic Tru Blood beverage, they've actually been using it a lot more. In the latest episode, a customer orders Tru Blood because of the rumors that vampire blood is a very powerful, very fun drug. The dude finds the drink disgusting, of course, but drinks it anyway, to the dismay and disgust of the girl he'd been hitting on that night. Of course, Tru Blood doesn't actually do anything, but actual vampire blood -- also known as "V juice" or just plain "V" -- is extremely potent. Lafayette is the drug dealer of the series, and sells V to Jason, Sookie's twisted and perverted brother. Jason is under suspicion of murdering the waitresses because it seems that every time he sleeps with one of them she turns up dead, so V is probably the last thing that Jason should be doing.

In this week's episode, Sookie's grandmother turns up dead, and as far as we know Jason wasn't sleeping with grandma so it looks like his name might be cleared. My bet is still on sweet little Sam, who we've learned is not actually so sweet, although Sookie hasn't heard anything to the contrary in Sam's thoughts. It could be an interesting plot twist, considering that Tara slept with Sam last week, and therefore she might have slept with a murderer! The only common denominators between the murders is that all of the victims are tolerant of vampires. Could it be that Sam is jealous of the attention that Sookie has bestowed upon Bill and has misplaced his anger on other unsuspecting vampire fangirls? It's really too early to tell at this point, although I'm starting to get interested enough to want to read the books, which I'm told are far better and far less cliché.

---Adela P.

Fringe: The Arrival

2008-10-08T07:59:00.003-05:00

This week's episode of Fringe was considerably better than previous ones, although it did still have some problems. Let's start with the good.

The strains on Peter and Walter's relationship became more clear in this episode, and it made me wonder if perhaps Peter suffered an abusive childhood due to his father's dementia. If so, then the writers have an interesting task ahead of them, one which I feel they are more than capable of handling -- making the reader feel equal parts angry and sympathetic towards Walter, angry at him for abusing his kid but sympathetic that he doesn't have the mental capacity to understand why his actions were/are wrong. It was nice to see Peter finally get so fed up with his father's antics that he decides to leave, only to stay at the end because he's become too curious about what's going on. I'm sure the father/son relationship will end up at least somewhat repairing itself later on in the season -- or at least I think that Peter and Walter will have their "good" moments. I'm excited to see their dynamic shift, 'cause there's only so much "cute" you can take before it gets old.

Seeing Peter get wires snaked up his nose was pretty cringe-worthy (poor guy), and the whole notion of someone stealing what I assume were images from Peter's brain is interesting -- I'm still not sure how I feel about this weird supernatural-slash-science premise, though. I wish we could just know what the show is about, but I suppose half the appeal is not knowing, or at least I'm sure that's the writers' intention.

The "surprise twist" at the end when Agent John Scott appears at Olivia's door was actually a surprise for me, which is nice. I wonder how he got away from those brain pickers.

Some of my gripes:

1. Peter getting clearance as a "civilian consultant to the Department of Homeland Security" at the end -- doesn't seem plausible to me, considering his shady past.

2. Walter again mysteriously has the answers to all of the mysteries -- he knows the bald headed man (i.e. The Observer) and the location of the sphere-o-doom, and all I can hope is that something more interesting happens with the fact that Walter has all of these answers to everything. I'm not sure I can handle the utter convenience of this show much longer.

3. It took the FBI a whole year to figure out that The Observer was in all of those crime scene photographs? Perhaps their lack of observant skills is supposed to inspire more confidence and faith in Olivia et al. simply by default -- if you have to choose between the FBI and Olivia and Friends, where do your loyalties lie? Well, obviously, if the FBI agents are insipid morons we're going to go with Olivia and Friends. The binary dualism has begun!

4. The Observer putting hot sauce all over his food was strangely reminiscent of Roswell. Perhaps he's an alien.

--- Adela P.

Silent Night, Deadly Night

2008-10-07T17:13:00.015-05:00

Everything about this movie made me happy. First, let's take a look at the amazing cover:

That's right, this is the movie that hordes of angry mothers protested and PTA mothers tried to ban! I don't know if that's actually true or just a really great marketing plan, but either way I've been hearing about this film since I was but a teeny Amber.

Silent Night, Deadly Night begins on Christmas Eve with the Chapman family on their way to visit insane grandpappy at the mental institution. Who are the Chapman family, you ask? Well, there's little Billy (the hero of our tragic tale), his infant brother and his parents. I'm sure they have actual names, but I'm just going to refer to them as momma, daddy and tiny bro (both because I'm too lazy to look it up and also because it's totally up to me). That's right, the reviewer has all the power!!! Muahahaha!!!

....Anyway, Billy visits insane grandpappy who tells our impressionable hero that Santa doesn't just give presents to good little girls and boys, he also punishes the naughty. If you've been bad AT ALL during the year you may as well just settle in for floggings, beatings, and general whippings with a wet noodle. Or something to that affect anyway, I was too busy chortling into my wine cooler at this point.

Not too surprisingly, little Billy is now traumatized and scared of Santa. (Just as an aside, Adela P and I were playing a drinking game while watching this cinematic masterpiece. Every time there was childhood trauma or death by Christmas implement I received points, whereas everytime Christmas music and family bonding moments occured Adela received points. Let's just say I won).
As the Chapman family are driving home they spy a drug-store Santa stranded on the side of the road. What's a decent, God-fearing family to do but be good Samaritans and pick up Santa? In retrospect that was a dumb idea. Santa is actually a rapist/murderer who kills daddy, slits mommy's throat after baring her rather magnificent breasts and then leaves to perpetuate more evil and ruin Christmas for families everywhere. Poor little Billy now truly believes in the evil that is Satan (I mean Santa) Claus.

Fast-forward a few years and Billy is now a traumatized orphan being raised by nuns. Mother Superior is annoyed by Billy's pesky PTSD and proceeds to torture the boy by giving him belt beatings, lecturing him on the evils of sex and making him sit in Santa's lap on Christmas. There is also the obligatory good nun, but I had issues with her. I have problems with any person who could watch a child being systematically abused and make sad faces and generally mope around instead of actually trying to protect him/her. The hypocritical bitch isn't much better than Mother Superior in my opinion.

Fast forward again and suddenly Billy's eighteen: big, blonde and beautiful. He's exactly what a pretty boy hero should look like and because of his large size and general sweet demeanor he obtains a job at the local toy store. As anyone familiar with the horror genre could ascertain, he does well for awhile and even manages to have sexual fantasies about a sweet co-worker until Christmas comes along and he's forced to dress up as Santa for the little kiddies.

Gee, can anyone guess what happened next? If you guessed a psychotic break give yourself a pat on the back! I won't go into too much detail, but suffice it to say sweet Billy becomes bad Santa and proceeds to go a-hunting on Christmas searching for the "bad" people. To be completely serious for a minute, despite the fact the movie is both cheesy and from the 80's, I was totally won over. I sympathized with little Billy from the beginning, cursed the evil nun and was devastated when Billy finally broke and became his worst nightmare. Mostly because it was so unfair. Until he went crazy Billy never did anything wrong. Life just dealt him a crap hand.

This review is reeeaaaallly long. In the interest of saving space, I'm going to sum up the remainder of the film. There are cops searching for Billy, the hypocritical nun does some futile searching for her lost charge, there are incredibly fun deaths, many random breast shots, and some of the funniest lines to ever grace a Christmas horror flick. My personal favorites are "Punish!" and "He was deaf!". While the movie didn't have the ending I would have preferred, this is a fun way to spend a few hours (especially if alcoholic beverages are involved).

Also, in case you've been following along, an important tidbit I forgot to mention earlier is that the infant brother actually lived through the trauma of rapist/murder Santa and grew up in the same orphanage. Make of that what you will, and remember: Santa is inherently evil, and grandpappy always knows best.

PS: I was sad there was only one death by Christmas implement. The end.

--Amber T

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: Goodbye To All That

2008-10-07T12:22:00.000-05:00

I've heard mutterings about the likelihood that T:SCC is going to be cancelled soon, which is a shame considering that each episode of late has been made of awesome. I don't really have much hope that T:SCC won't be cancelled, and it really peeves me that Fox can't give a show more than 12 or so episodes before they make that decision. Damn you, Fox. (And then people have the audacity to mock fans of Joss Whedon who have already started campaigns to save Dollhouse before the show has even premiered -- well, no wonder!)

In last night's episode, Sarah's storyline is once again separated from John's as he takes most of the action and she's relegated to the sidelines. The story starts out with Sarah heading out to protect someone named Martin Bedell, whom the terminator is after because he makes a significant contribution in the Resistance. As John and Derek go off to find the "real" Martin Bedell, Sarah and Cameron set out to find the wrong Martin, who actually turns out to be Marty, a cute, 8-years-old-ish kid who likes video games and whose book report is due on Monday.

The episode shifts between Sarah/Cameron/Marty and John/Derek/Bedell, with the guys getting all of the action sequences (with the exception of the first few minutes of the ep) and Sarah where we never usually see her -- the domestic space, child and all. Sarah is forced to be "mom" to Marty in this episode, and I imagine watching Kacy's pregnancy in the last episode and then protecting Marty in this episode brought out those "mommy" instincts in Sarah that she had to force herself to push away when she was raising John. When John returns at the end of the episode, Sarah watches him forlornly, as though she's wishing that John could have had the kind of mother that Marty undoubtedly has, the kind of mother that she was trying to imitate for Marty while he was in her care.

On the other side of the episode, Derek and John are spending the week at a military school where Bedell is enrolled in order to protect him from the terminator. John is there on the pretense that he's checking out the school for one week to see how it fits, and conveniently, Derek is asked to stay in order to fill in the spot of a general that is gone that week. (Too convenient? Maybe. But given that the rest of the episode is pretty solid, I'm willing to overlook this.) John spends time getting to know Bedell, only to find that Bedell is thinking of leaving military school in order to run away with his girlfriend. Derek assures John that this won't happen, that the future has already happened and he knows what Bedell's decision will be (too bad the writers of Supernatural couldn't have taken advice from the T:SCC writers on this -- see my review of last week's Supernatural episode to make sense of this comment).

The episode ends predictably -- John and Derek save Bedell and destroy the terminator, and end up telling Bedell about the coming war. We never see the conversation though, so we don't know what exactly Bedell knows, but it doesn't look like Bedell knows what kind of influence he's going to have in the future, nor does he know whether or not he will run into John in the future. But it's clear that he's not going to leave the school, and his reasons behind the decision are open to interpretation.

Derek's PTSD is more obvious than ever in this episode, and it's both sad and oddly satisfying to watch -- sad because it's never fun to watch my favorite characters in pain, satisfying because it's nice to see Derek's character fleshed out. Hopefully the writers won't pull a Joss and kill him off -- the sad thing is that I feel like if they're going to have a character die it will probably be Derek, and that thought depresses me. If T:SCC is cancelled, hopefully the writers will at least keep Derek alive for the fans as some kind of consolation. (I have not read spoilers -- so Readers worry not, for I have not spoiled you, and also -- if you have read spoilers and know the answers to my speculations, PLEASE DO NOT tell me.)

After the guys say goodbye to Bedell and are hiding home, Derek reveals to John that Bedell "died saving forty people, and one of those people was John Connor. . . . We all died for you."

It was utterly painful to watch this scene. Kudos to Thomas Dekker, whose acting has once again managed to make me feel incredibly depressed and sad for John. And also kudos to Brian Austin Green, who managed to make me feel both pissed off at Derek for putting yet more weight on poor little John's shoulders, and pained for the trauma that Derek has suffered and for how much devotion he has to John and to the future of mankind.

Not to be cheesy, but I have so much love for this show that I almost feel like bursting sometimes, but then I think of the giant Fox logo and my spirit just crushes under its fugliness. Hopefully the title of this week's episode, "Goodbye To All That," isn't a portent of things to come. I implore you, Fox, on all that is holy, PLEASE do not cancel my show.

---Adela P.

Supernatural: In the Beginning

2008-10-07T09:28:00.001-05:00

Sadly, I was disappointed in this week's episode of Supernatural. I don't want to post a lengthy review because it will probably only depress me, but here are some WTF? moments that had me rolling my eyes and sighing in annoyance:

1. Dean going back in time to meet his father, and convincing him to buy the Impala instead of that ugly-ass 70s van that his wife wanted. I hate it when characters go back in time to convince other characters to do something when the future makes it clear that the character already did it. I mean, really? John buys an Impala which Dean drives in the future and then Dean goes back in time to convince John to buy said Impala? It's a never-ending, nonsensical loop.

2. Finding out that Mary's father was a hunter, and that the yellow-eyed demon killed her parents and John, thus causing her to make a deal with the demon to bring John back, which is what later caused her death. The deal is that the demon will come back in 10 years for "something" but he will not tell Mary what this "something" is, only that she cannot interfere when he comes for the payment. As we know, Mary does interfere, and thus is killed. This explanation is entirely too convenient, and it annoys me that the writers used a stupid Back To The Future-esque episode to explain it. The entire run of the show seemed to indicate that there was a "greater" explanation than this, because really, how completely predictable and boring! Did we really just spend three seasons waiting in anticipation for a "big reveal" only to be let down so tremendously? Please tell me that there's something more to this story.

3. Dean telling Mary's father where the yellow-eyed demon is going to strike next (he can see the future!, he explains), thus causing Mary to tag along, which causes the yellow-eyed demon to see her and want her, which all spurs on the events which eventually bring about Mary's death -- which ALL comes together to conclude that Dean backhandedly caused his mother's death. This is LAME. All of this ALREADY HAPPENED BEFORE Dean went back in time, so Dean going back in time shouldn't have caused these events because it JUST ISN'T LOGICAL. (Not that time travel is ever logical, but the Supernatural writers are way too intelligent to write this kind of crap, and viewers at least SHOULD BE too intelligent to accept it, although sadly, this isn't the case, as there are actually a bunch of reviewers out there who LIKED this premise.) Plus, this puts undue burden on Dean -- it's JUST NOT FAIR.

4. Castiel popping in for brief moments to ominously tell Dean, "You must stop it!" and then pop right back out. Like that's enough explanation for the guy.

5. Dean finding the Colt, and the other hunter, although reluctant, actually letting him take it. Yeah right.

6. The names of Sam and Dean's grandparents are Samuel and Deanna. Really? Really.

7. Because Dean was the only one going back in time, Sam got a whopping forty seconds or so of screentime and only one line of dialogue. Boo.

Some redeeming moments:

1. Seeing a young John and Mary.

2. When Dean asks John where he can get reception on his cell phone, John replies, "U.S.S. Enterprise?"

3. Emo Dean (always a favorite of mine).

4. Dean dressing as a priest again.

5. Dean's amazement that they must wait for research to be mailed to them.

6. Dean forgetting what time period he's in and asking Mary's father, "Did you find anything on the web? (Samuel stares in confusion) Of... information you have assembled."

7. Dean introducing himself as "Dean Van Halen."

8. Dean thinking out loud as he watches a young Mary: "Sammy, wherever you are, Mom is a babe. (awkward pause) I'm going to Hell. Again."

These small gems, however, do not make up for the inconsistencies. Here's to hoping that next week's episode gets back on track, although I'm not sure how they can redeem the overarching plot from this heavy failure.

---Adela P.

Calvaire

2008-10-06T20:43:00.000-05:00

There are very few horror movies that actually manage to surprise me. I've watched so many over the years that I've become one of those semi-annoying people who blurt out predictions on the "surprise twist" endings and then have the audacity to invariably be correct (ask Adela P, whose neverending annoyance at this predilection of mine never stops being funny).

That's the main reason Calvaire (A.K.A. The Ordeal) was so refreshing. This movie defies prediction and easy answers.

Calvaire's protagonist is boring low-rent cabaret singer Marc Stevens. Desperate women throw themselves at Marc because he sings seductive love songs that sound like the French version of Barry Manilow. He's the type of man (vanilla, crooning and insipid) women delude themselves into thinking they want. He's sexy like toast is sexy.

Marc is traveling to a new gig when his van breaks down near a small South Belgian town. With the help of a random passerby Marc finds lodging and entrusts himself and his van to the innkeeper Bartel. Unfortunately for Marc, Bartel is a mentally fragile man who insists on reliving his glory days as a second-rate "performer" and waxing poetic about the wife that deserted him.

Here's where the movie becomes interesting. To quote Crosby, Stills and Nash, "if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with". Bartel is lonely and desperate enough that he deludes himself into believing Marc is his long-lost wife Gloria. I was willing to accept this plot twist because Marc is both boring and devoid of color. He's like a paint-by-numbers sketch of a person and it would be relatively easy for Bartel and others to project their own wants and needs onto his proverbial blank slate.

As is to be expected, Bartel's madness ensures Marc's suffering for the remainder of the film. While this would normally be enough plot for the average horror movie, Calvaire also includes a town completely devoid of women, residents that love their livestock to an unhealthy degree and a man creepily obsessed with finding his missing dog. All these elements finally came together in the final third of the movie.

One of the most interesting facets of the film is that Marc (by his very lack of character) is an unsympathetic victim. Fabrice Du Welz, the director of Calvaire has stated he wanted to "shift the empathy" from the main character to Bartel. He somewhat succeeds as Bartel can be more pathetic than terrifying. However, in a strange way I found Bartel's simpering and random mood swings more horrific than your average axe-wielding killer as madness defies prediction. At least with the aforementioned serial killer there's really no doubt what he's going to do: kill you with his trusty axe. With Bartel there's no way of knowing what his reaction would be at any given moment and that's a terrifying prospect.

Sadly, Calvaire did have some problems. I knew before watching that the film was marketed as a foreign Texas Chainsaw Massacre; that said I did not need the scene with Marc at the dinner table being tormented by Bartel and company. It reminded me far too strongly of the similar scene in TCM where Sally is being tormented at the dinner table by the redneck family. There was even the obligatory close up shots of the victim's eyeball. There's a fine line between homage and rip-off, and sadly this scene was closer to the latter. The viewer also has to ignore how illogical a large portion of this movie is. I can believe Bartel's delusion but it is harder to explain away the delusion of an entire town. Were there radioactive fumes making everyone crazy?

Basically what the review boils down to is this: horror fans will likely enjoy this strange little film and be won over by its perverse and often illogical storyline. Even if this doesn't sound like your cup of tea, the dancing scene alone has enough scary charm to make this must-see viewing. Then you can tell all your friends you've seen an interesting movie about the repercussions of lonliness and love denied.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: Allison From Palmdale

2008-09-30T11:58:00.000-05:00

I was so pleased with the amount of screentime that Summer Glau clocked in this episode. I was wary that perhaps the audience wasn't getting enough of her, and therefore wasn't realizing just how awesome of an actress she is -- but this episode definitely displayed Glau's artistry in every possible way.

The revelation of how "Cameron" became "Cameron" was just great. I'm excited to see if they take this storyline further, perhaps showing how Cameron infiltrates John's camp (if she does indeed succeed in doing so), and how and why he reprograms her and sends her back to protect 16-year old John.

I'm not sure I bought Cameron's sudden transformation into Allison and then back again at the end of the episode, but regardless, they did a good job with the episode, and the fact that I'm forced to believe that Cameron can just switch back and forth between "Terminator sent to kill John" and "Cameron sent to protect John" and "Allison from Palmdale" gives the show a nice edge, as it makes me wonder just what is going to set her off next time, and also makes me wonder if and when Cameron will eventually have to be destroyed because of her volatility.

I wasn't sure I believed Sarah's storyline this episode. It doesn't seem to me like she would give a damn about Kacy. I certainly am able to believe that Sarah would drive her to the hospital and maybe even stay with her while getting examined, but as soon as Baby Daddy showed up I expected her to bolt. It doesn't seem to me like Sarah does well with any kind of normal social interaction, so her weird "connection" with Kacy just because the chick's pregnant doesn't seem very believable to me.

And why is Sarah not more concerned with what John's up to these days? It seems like every time he gets into trouble, she and Derek are no where to be found. Shouldn't she be a little more concerned with his whereabouts considering all the events of late? The other gripe I had with this episode was Derek's absence. I understand that he didn't really have a place in this episode, but it still disappointed me.

Other than these few things, though, definitely a solid episode. I'm excited about potential future developments with Cameron, and especially how John will react if they find out they have to destroy her later.

---Adela P.

Gossip Girl: The Serena Also Rises

2008-09-30T11:07:00.000-05:00

What can I say, except that this episode continues the awesome-ness of last week's. I mean, what's not to love? Blair spent the entire episode trying to destroy her mother's fashion show and make Jenny miserable because she's upset with Serena; Serena seemed to lament appropriating Blair's throne, only to be convinced by new socialite Poppy that Blair had been refusing to let her "shine her light," Little J cut class for two weeks to work on the fashion show against her father's wishes, and then told the headmistress that she's not going back to school!!!, and Dan turned to Chuck and asked him to lead him around "his world" in order to get inspiration for a story -- and Chuck actually allowed it until he found out Dan's true intentions.

I was pretty upset with Blair in this episode when she got so upset with Serena that she attempted to dish out revenge on everyone but Serena herself. I mean, really, it's not Little J's fault that Blair's mother, Eleanor, wanted Serena sitting in the front row, and it's certainly not Eleanor's fault that Serena's pushed Blair aside and has rightfully reclaimed her throne as Queen Bitch. But it was satisfying to see that every act of revenge Blair attempted backfired. Not only was it awesome to finally see Blair fail in her scheming, but it leaves open more opportunity for Blair to turn to Chuck for help in stealing back her throne. The possibilities are endless.

Jenny's storyline is FINALLY getting interesting again. I'm so happy to see them finally *do something* with the fashion-intern storyline other than just watching Jenny make dresses and get stepped all over by Laurel (her boss). It was hard to imagine that all of Jenny's angst over trying to "fit in" and "find her place in the world" was so easily diminished with a hug and kiss from daddy and a good ass-kicking from Blair. It's good to see all of that energy go into something else -- Jenny's still trying to do that teenage "who am I?" thing, and is still going to every extreme to do so, much to the bewilderment of her father, Rufus. I sense some more awesome parent/teenager drama coming up soon.

I didn't see Dan's whole "I'm an aspiring author!" storyline going anywhere this season, but watching him in this episode as follows Chuck around in order to gain some inspiration was a nice twist that I didn't expect, and the fact that towards the end Dan actually felt some sympathy for the guy actually made it all the sweeter. I wonder what story Dan's working on now? He told his mentor that he would not be writing Chuck's story out of respect for his privacy, but will he hold true to his word? Dan's definitely been riding the high horse this season, and I'm not sure I'm willing to accept that his pride will allow him to just let go of that story. Or perhaps Dan will go off the handle completely and become Chuck's best new party pal, which certainly has potential -- can anyone else see an awesome bad-girl Serena and bad-boy Dan hooking up later? After they get over this whole let's-try-to-be-good-and-wholesome-people routine? Dan and Serena both tried in season 1 to be those "good people," but maybe that's just not who they're meant to be -- maybe they should just embrace their inner baddies and team up to become the arch-nemeses of Blair and Chuck.

Ooh, that just made me quiver a bit with excitement. Here's to hoping.

---Adela P.

Supernatural -- Interview with Misha Collins

2008-09-27T11:28:00.000-05:00

Check out thetvaddict.com's interview with Misha Collins, who plays Supernatural's angel Castiel. Beware, there are very minor spoilers.

---Adela P.

Comparing Fringe and 90210

2008-09-27T11:21:00.001-05:00

Check out this blog entry from thetvaddict.com. The author compares Fox's Fringe and the CW's 90210, and it's quite funny.

---Adela P.

Fringe - The Ghost Network

2008-09-27T10:27:00.000-05:00

I think in order to continue enjoying Fringe I'm going to have to just accept that it's another weird Abrams show where we're not sure if the premise is supernatural or not. All of this Weird Science is too far-reaching to accept that it's a "normal" show, but the writers still haven't explained the mythology behind all of these odd occurrences to warrant any sort of believability. Shows like Buffy and Supernatural are "believable" to me in the context of the show's mythology, if that makes sense -- there's a definition, an explanation, for the world that the characters live in. With Fringe, it's a weird sort of mix between a police show and a science show and a supernatural show, and I'm not sure that I like that.

The dialogue of the show indicates that the writers are self-aware of the fact that the audience is being expected to believe unlikely things. At one point in the episode, Walter decides that a "psychic" man (but not actually psychic -- another weird, far-reaching science thing) named Roy should be given a MRI in order to further investigate how the images are being sent through Roy's brain. Peter asks if Walter thinks that they'll be able to determine who is sending the images, and Walter responds that that would be "preposterous." Touché, Walter. Then, of course, Walter responds that they'll perhaps be able to intercept the thoughts, which is of course just as preposterous as Peter's suggestion -- but I think the writers know this, and are poking fun at themselves.

The interaction between Peter and Walter has become the absolute highlight of the show for me, and is one of the main reasons I'll continue watching. I loved it when Walter requested that a piano be brought in because Peter's playing soothes him. I also love that we're getting more insight into Peter's background -- the scene in the coffee shop where Peter roughhouses the dude that has been following and taking pictures of him was just awesome. I wonder -- what sort of sordid past does Peter have? And how will that cause tension between him and Olivia (considering how obvious it is that those two are gonna hook up at some point)?

I was sad when Roy went back to "normal" at the end of the episode -- I was sort of hoping that he would become a regular secondary character, as his "power" was pretty cool and could have led to some interesting developments on the show. I suppose we can't rule anything out at this point, but to me it doesn't seem like Roy will be returning. His presence also would have been another reason to keep Olivia on the sidelines once in awhile, because damn, she just isn't a very interesting character yet.

My major gripes with the episode? Item number 1: I thought it strange that everyone except for Peter seemed to be okay with crazy Walter performing BRAIN SURGERY on Roy, especially considering that Roy was one of his test subjects in the past and experimentation is what caused the problem in the first place. Granted, Walter's probably the only person to reverse the effects of his experiment, but I wanted just a bit more conflict around this, and perhaps even more protest from Peter, as he seemed to back down pretty quickly.

Item number 2: I pretty much knew that Broyles was in league with Massive Dynamic -- no big surprise there, although the dramatic, escalating violin music during that scene proves that the writers imagined this to be the "big reveal" of the episode. I was surprised they revealed this so soon -- it seemed like they should have tried to push a few more episodes out before telling the audience.

Item number 3: In the middle of the episode Olivia goes to Broyles and asks why she doesn't have clearance to review all of the files, and he tells her that she's not ready to see them yet. I liked where that was going -- I thought perhaps this would continue for a lonnnng time (as in, for the rest of the season), with Olivia slowly becoming more and more suspicious before finally sneaking around to find out why, only to discover that Broyles is in league with Massive Dynamic. Instead, at the end of the episode, Broyles decides to give her clearance. He's probably smart enough to realize that he needs to give her clearance in order to dispell any suspicions about his allegiances, but it would have provided so much more awesome potential for future show developments if he acted just a bit more shady about the whole thing.

Item number 4: There's way too much "stuff" happening in too short a time -- I could understand if all of these weird occurrences were happening with maybe a month or even a couple weeks between them, but it seems like these events are happening in rapid succession. This episode opens at John Scott's funeral, which indicates to me that it has been mere days, maybe even a week or so, since the events of the premiere episode. Plus, the very last scene shows that Massive Dynamic is still trying to extract info from John Scott's brain, and I was under the impression that there is a slim window of time for pulling info from someone's brain after they've died. Does anyone else agree with me on this point -- does it seem like there's too much going on for how much time has [not] passed? Or am I missing something here? I'm just wondering, if these odd occurrences are happening regularly, how have they not been more noticeable before now? All of those unsolved cases under Olivia's belt -- why did she not suspect something weird sooner and start Muldering her way through investigations instead of just accepting that they are going to remain unsolved? This does nothing to heighten her credibility in my eyes.

---Adela P.

Privileged

2008-09-26T14:11:00.000-05:00

I've been watching Privileged since its premiere, and I really haven't found anything worthwhile to blog about. It's basically yet another rich-kid series (because that's all the rage these days). A wannabe-journalist moves from Manhattan to Florida to live with and tutor these rich sisters so they get into Duke. (Why can't a kid -- just once -- be excited to get into, oh I don't know, a plain old state university? Do all of the rich kids have to get into ivy leagues?)

Every episode so far has been like this: The tutor, Megan Smith, does her best to get Sage and Rose (oh yes, those are really their names) to study, the girls don't want to study and decide to ditch her and go to [insert random rich kid activity here], the girls get in trouble and call Megan, Megan comes to save the day, Rose agrees to try harder, Sage continues acting like a bitch even though Megan just saved her ass.

There's really not a lot of substance here at this point. The characters are weakly developed and uninteresting, the dialogue is lame, the acting is terrible, and the humor is... well... not funny.

The only thing I'm enjoying the show for at this point is the pretty scenery. And I do love Joanna Garcia's red hair.

---Adela P.

Supernatural: Are You There God? It's Me, Dean Winchester

2008-09-26T11:52:00.000-05:00

I loved, loved, loved last night's episode of Supernatural.

Recap: Hunters are turning up dead, and Dean, Sam, and Bobby start investigating the cause. Eventually they figure out that the hunters are being killed by the spirits of people they couldn't save. Bobby is visited by two creepy Shining-esque sisters, and Dean and Sam are visited by Meg and Agent Hendrickson. They notice that the victims have marks on their hands, and after researching it they discover that it is The Mark of the Witness. They eventually find out that Lilith is behind what is called The Rising of the Witnesses, and that it is a sign of the Apocalypse as outlined in the book of Revelation. They are able to do a spell to put the spirits back to rest, but not before some pretty emotionally traumatizing exchanges between the hunters and the spirits.

How nice it was to see Meg again! I was just having a discussion with my cousin about how much we missed her. Although I guess technically we loved the demon that was inhabiting Meg, but Meg's spirit was so bitter and vengeful that you couldn't really tell the difference anyway.

I absolutely loved the interaction between Sammy and Meg -- how Meg chastised Sammy for cavorting about with Ruby, asking why he didn't feel bad that he was just letting Ruby control some poor girl's body, especially since she's not exactly "gone" and is still aware of every action the demon is performing with her body. The expression on Sam's face was so good -- sad, regretful, guilty. Maybe he'll finally fess up to Dean now about what's been going on with Ruby.

It was also great to see Agent Hendrickson again -- another character death that I was very sad about. I wonder if what he said was true, that Lilith flayed poor virginal Nancy for hours before killing her and that it took hours for them all to die, or if he was just trying to make Dean feel even worse.

I loved Meg's conversation with Dean. Meg tells Dean that it's his fault her sister killed herself after her death, delivering this powerful line: "You know how younger siblings are, don't you? How they'll do anything for you?"

Oh yes, Meg, Dean knows.

It was good to see Dean questioning the existence of God after having been jolted with the whole "angels are real" thing in the last episode. He's of course skeptical that Castiel is actually an angel, and asks questions like, "If God exists, why are all of these horrible things always happening to good people," etcetera.

The angel Castiel appears to Dean at the end of the episode, and Dean raises some of these questions with him.

Castiel: There's a God.
Dean: I'm not convinced. 'Cause if there's a God, what the hell is he waiting for, huh? Genocide? Monsters roaming the earth? The fricking apocalypse? At what point does he lift a damn finger and help the poor bastards that are stuck down here?
Castiel: The Lord works...
Dean: If you say "mysterious ways" so help me, I will kick your ass.

Another highlight is when Dean says to Castiel, "I thought angels were supposed to be guardians. Fluffy wings. Halos. You know, Michael Landon, not dicks." Castiel responds that angels are warriors of God -- soldiers. It's nice to see a show finally following actual angel mythology instead of the lame "fluffy wings" and "halos" bullshit that television typically spouts off.

And Castiel's parting words to Dean? Golden. "Our numbers are not unlimited. Six of my brothers died in the field this week. You think the armies of Heaven should just follow you around? There's a bigger picture here. You should show me respect. I dragged you out of Hell. I can throw you back in."

Yeah, Dean, show some respect to that badass angel.

So I guess I'm jumping in on the angel storyline with both feet. Hopefully I don't end up too disappointed, because my hopes are definitely high. This week's episode has raised the bar even higher and I expect this season to go in awesome and unexpected directions.

My favorite brother moment: When Dean finds out research must be done, he says to Sam: "You're gonna get me some pie." Cut to the next scene, where Sam is getting out of the Impala, talking to Dean on his cell: "Dude, when have I ever forgotten the pie?" Ruby shows up unexpectedly, distracting Sam. Later, Dean's digging through the grocery bag, looks up at Sam in annoyance: "Dude, where's the pie?"

I have much love.

---Adela P.

Veronica Mars: an old newsflash!

2008-09-26T11:35:00.000-05:00

I was reading Ask Ausiello for some dish on Grey's and came across this question from one of his readers: "I know it's only been a week, but any news on the Veronica Mars movie?"

WHATTT?????!!!!!

No. Freaking. Way.

I did some more digging, and was able to find an article about it from Ausiello. Click here to get the full scoop.

This is apparently old news too -- as in, over a month old -- but obviously this is the first I've heard of it. Well, fair readers, what do you think? Hype? Or could it be that we may see a reunion of our V Mars cast yet?

---Adela P.

Grey's Anatomy: Dream a Little Dream of Me

2008-09-26T08:43:00.000-05:00

Upon the insistence of my friend Claire, I decided to watch the season premiere of Grey's last night in the hopes that the crappiness of last season could be attributed only to the writer's strike and not to the fact that the show has completely and irreversibly jumped the shark.

After last night's episode, I'm still not sure what I think.

The first half of the episode was entirely lame, but I think the latter half somewhat made up for it. (Only somewhat, though.) The episode definitely did not need to be two hours long; they probably could have pulled a Fringe and premiered it in 1.5 hours instead.

The episode opens up with this entirely lame dream sequence where Derek gets into a car accident and dies with Meredith screaming and crying and pounding on the window as though that's going to help somehow. The audience is supposed to believe that this is actually occurring, and the dramatic swelling of music accompanied by Meredith's screeching really didn't make me sympathetic for her at all -- it actually just made me want to push the mute button.

Thankfully, this sequence didn't last too long, and the rest of Meredith's story for the episode is the usual emo should-I-or-should-I-not-be-with-Derek. Meredith thinks that perhaps her dreams are just her fears of not getting a happy ending, and she of course talks Cristina's ear off about the whole thing. When the episode started, I couldn't really think much beyond, "omg, are Meredith and Cristina still complaining about their personal lives in front of strangers when they're supposed to be acting like professional surgeons?" And the answer is yes. Towards the middle of the episode, however, I was shocked and pleased when Cristina finally turned around and told Meredith to shut the hell up! Oh yes, and then she followed this exclamation by repeating it: "Consider the possibility of shutting the hell up!" It's ABOUT TIME that Cristina finally gets fed up with Meredith's constant blabbering. But then, tragedy of tragedies, Cristina gets IMPALED WITH AN ICICLE as some kind of existential punishment for finally putting Meredith in her place. What kind of weird justice is that?! If you ask me, Meredith should have been the one to get impaled.

At the end of the episode, Meredith tells Cristina that she needs her to be the friend that tells her that she can make it with Derek, because if she doesn't have Cristina's support she's going to fail no matter what. Well, way to go Meredith -- there's nothing better than asking your best friend to lie to you, thus ensuring that she's never comfortable expressing her true opinions again.

Also, the show sadly decided to bring up that whole "you're my person" thing again -- that was cute once, but we really didn't need to go there again. Meredith tells Cristina "you're my person," and I was willing to let it go -- I remember the moment distinctly: I started giggling a little bit in my chair, and I said "No, it's okay just once, maybe it's a little cheesy but I can deal." A little bit of dialogue takes place, and then when Meredith asks Cristina if she's only saying what she thinks Meredith will want to hear, Cristina says, "I am your person!" And I pretty much started laughing so much at the idiocy of it that I didn't hear the rest of that conversation.

Oh, well, I'm sure I didn't miss much.

So basically Meredith's character hasn't evolved much at all since season one -- she's still afraid of "getting her happy ending" and still does nothing but complain and whine about how crappy her life is and contemplating why it is that she's so "dark and twisty."

I'm torn about Cristina in this episode. I like that she finally told Meredith off, but I'm sad that she backed down so quickly at the end of the episode. What she should have told Meredith is, "No, bitch, I'm not going to lie to you and compromise my integrity just to make you feel better." And instead she said, "I am your person, la la!" Okay, maybe she didn't sing, but considering how cheesy that moment was I probably wouldn't have been surprised if she had.

One of the highlights of this episode was an army trauma surgeon that comes in with some trauma victims -- after Cristina finds out that he trach'd a guy with a ballpoint pen, her response is "Hot!" After she gets impaled with the icicle, he's the one who finds her and eventually gives her medical care. He tells her that she's too good for this hospital and should do what he does, trauma surgery in the military, where things are more spontaneous and exciting. Cristina of course tells him that things can be spontaneous and exciting at Seattle Grace and she doesn't want to leave, but all I could think was, "Yes, Cristina, please go off with military man!" I mean, come on! Cristina ditching dark and twisty Meredith, Sandra Oh sporting military garb? That's gotta be a better spin-off series than Private Practice. Unfortunately, when the inevitable smooching between them occurs, Cristina puts a stop to it before they can get on with the raucous sex part of the episode. Oh well, maybe army dude will come back later -- Richard did offer him a job, but army dude turned it down. Although... am I the only one who noticed that he looked slightly hesitant about doing so?

To return to the beginning again -- one of the first scenes of the episode shows the characters crowding around a computer looking to see where they rate as a teaching hospital in comparison with other hospitals. They come in 12th (unsurprising, considering that they spend more time talking about their personal lives than actually working), and everyone is of course terribly distraught over it. Erica spends the rest of the episode wondering how she can become a better teacher. Why would Erica care about becoming a better teacher? Isn't she just a bitch that doesn't care two cents about what other people think of her? Personally, I think they used her sudden concern as a plot device -- Erica goes around asking people how to become a better teacher, and then reveals the following observations: Shephard 's thinking strategy is talking out loud, Bailey's strategy is being blunt, direct, and not overteaching, and Sloan's strategy is berating and humiliating his students. As if the audience needed any reminders that Derek talks too much, Bailey doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut, and all Sloan is good for is creating chaos and lowering the self-esteem of his interns.

Lexi still needs to grow some stones -- when Sloan eggs her on, all she can do is shout "Shut up!" over and over again. Come on Lexi, you can't think of a snappier comeback? Go take lessons from Cristina on how to be a bigger bitch.

Another annoying part of the episode is with the patients themselves -- three ladies were in a car accident, and they find out that their husbands, riding in a separate limo, were in one as well. One of the ladies finds out that her best friend had been sleeping with her husband, and when her friend tries to reconcile with her, she delivers one of the best lines of the episode, a simple, "I'm gonna miss you," and walks away. I was so pleased with this, because I was worried that she was just going to forgive her on the spot, and that just would not be plausible. But then, at the end of the episode, the writers had to go and screw that up too -- the ladies do this weird reconciling thing without words, and walk away hand in hand. Blah.

I'm not sure how I feel about the budding relationship between Erica and Callie. I think I agree with reviewer Alan Sepinwall when he says that "I still think Callie and Dr. Hahn are gay for each other. . . only because the writers needed to give these two characters something to do." I'll have to wait and see what happens in the coming weeks before I can make a judgment.

At the end of the episode, Richard tells his staff that the surgery protocol is changing, and I can't help but think that this was actually a message from the writers to the audience, ensuring us that things at the hospital are going to take some turns, and don't worry, we won't be bored. If this episode is any indication, they aren't going to be living up to their word.

But I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt for at least two more weeks -- the preview for an upcoming episode didn't actually show next week's (which means that it's probably less-than-promising), but rather showed a trailer for the episode that will air two weeks from now, and apparently it's going to be spectacular.

We'll see.

My highlights of the episode:

Sloan saying to George, "What kind of moron are you? Are you a special moron from the aisle of complex and utter morons?"
Bailey and Cristina both hoping that trauma patients will come to their O.R. despite the fact that they are ranked number 12. Bailey: "I have a dream that trauma will come through those doors." Cristina: "I share that dream." Meredith's comment on this earlier in the episode was quite funny as well: "We're standing out here in the hopes that someone is severely injured, wishing and praying that someone is so hurt and so near death that they have to bring them here." Indeed, Meredith, indeed.
Izzie spends most of her time with a patient whose memory keeps resetting every thirty seconds, and she must continually remind the patient where she is and what's going on. At one point Alex comes by, and tells the patient: "You're in a spaceship and going to the moon!" Yes, it's totally evil and unprofessional, but it was probably the only point in the episode where I laughed out loud and the writers actually intended for me to do so.
Bailey giving Alex the okay to turn back the clock to 11:58pm in the O.R. to ensure that the patient gets insurance (his insurance ends at midnight that day). Screwing over insurance companies is always fun.

Other low points, besides what I've already elaborated upon:

The weird Denny flashback at the end of the episode. Sorry, but for me, Denny ended at season two, and when I see him now, all I can think is, "Hi, John Winchester. Can you please pull out your rock-salt gun and blow away that demon-chick in the cupcake dress? It's nice to know that you haunt a hospital, hope to see you again in next week's episode so maybe you can kill Meredith the next time she starts acting like a whiny biatch."
The implication that Alex is becoming a nice guy, and then watching as he reverts to being a jerk (to Izzie, anyway).
More lame dialogue: "This guy's getting an express ticket to the O.R." .....Really?
The weird flash to the future that Cristina sees after getting impaled by the icicle. Meredith and Cristina as little old ladies making chicken together? Cristina putting on a surgical glove to hold the chicken as she makes a surgical incision? It looks likes Sandra Oh and Ellen Pompeo had a few too many beers with the writers one night and they suddenly came up with this "brilliant" idea. Ellen: "No wait, no wait, I got it! Let's do a scene where Meredith and Cristina are little old ladies with the gray hair and the wrinkles, and they can live together and make chicken and it'll be so funny and omg it'll just be so much fun, don't you think, Sandra?" Sandra: "You know, I just may be drunk enough to think that's a great idea."

---Adela P.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: The Mousetrap

2008-09-25T13:18:00.000-05:00

I love T:SCC, but I gotta say that sometimes I just get so bloody annoyed with Sarah and John.

When Charley's wife Michelle is abducted by the terminator Cromartie, Charley calls John in an attempt to get ahold of Sarah and beg her for help. Sarah had given John strict instructions not to give Charley their cell phone numbers, but John of course disobeyed the order. My question is, didn't Sarah have a feeling that John would give Charley the number? And following that train of thought, wouldn't she have known that Charley would only call John in the case of an emergency? Therefore, wouldn't she have given Charley her number, thereby preventing any unnecessary trouble with John, especially considering that she didn't even tell John what had happened until all of the events of the day had transpired?

My other issue with Sarah is that she claims she wants her son to be this great leader, and yet she refuses to let him shoulder some of what she does -- for example, the issue with Charley. If she had told John what was going on, then perhaps he wouldn't have gone meandering about with Riley while Cromartie was tracking him. Instead, she left John completely in the dark in a misguided attempt to protect him, and ended up putting him in more danger than she would have if she had just told him what was going on. Sure, he would have wanted to help, but she and Derek are the adults and should be the ones making the decisions, and hell, they have Cameron, a freaking terminator, that could have kept him secluded somewhere while they took care of business.

I'd also like to note that Sarah's bitchiness to Charley was entirely unearned on his part. It's not his fault that she starts dating him, they get engaged, she leaves him to run away into the future and thereby deprives John of the only father figure he's had since Arnold Schwarzenegger himself, John seeks Charley out in the future just for the sake of familiarity and making sure he's okay, Charley thus gets all mixed into Sarah and John's business, and Michelle gets abducted as a result. TOTALLY not his fault. Hopefully the fact that his wife died because Sarah inadvertently got him involved in all of this will cause her to start having some sympathy for the guy and stop acting like a total loon.

And John? Can he just try to remember for one millisecond that he's supposed to be the leader of the Resistance someday, and can't just take off without letting anyone know where he is and what he's doing? Why isn't he letting Cameron do her job of protecting him? There's nothing wrong with letting her spy just a little bit as he and Riley cavort about town.

Okay, granted, the story would not have been as interesting if Sarah and John had in any way acted logically, but still, I feel I have every right to be annoyed with their utter lack of sense.

It was very, very interesting that Derek followed Sarah to help Charley and Michelle instead of staying to keep an eye on John. Methinks there may be some romance in their future... or at least, I really hope so. On that note, I'm wondering where Charley's story is going to go from here. With Michelle dead, is he going to try to team up with Sarah in order to get revenge on Cromartie? Is he going to just disappear, not wanting anything to do with Sarah after she dragged him into this life? I haven't read any spoilers about whether actor Dean Winters is a regular this season, so I have no idea which direction this will go. If Charley does stick around, I wonder what Derek is going to think about that.

My favorite part of this episode, by far, is when John asks Cameron to give him a ride, and as she starts to get into the car, he TAKES OFF RUNNING in the opposite direction. Hilarious.

I only had a couple of gripes. Seeing Busy Philipps's enormous pregnant belly was definitely not high on my to-do list. It's not that I mind that she's pregnant -- it's great that she's still working and was able to land a role in T:SCC. But why did she have to be half-way shirtless? I realize that "normal" shirts don't fit her anymore, but that's what maternity wear is for. And would you really be casually holding a conversation with a 16-year old boy while wearing nothing more than a little halter/bikini top MONTHS into your pregnancy? Really?

The showdown between John and Cromartie was a bit anti-climactic. When they both jumped into the ocean and Cromartie sunk to the bottom, all I could think was "Wow, terminators can't swim. Well, that's entirely lame." I was on the edge of my seat, waiting for Cromartie to start holding John underwater with his super strength -- which actually would have really made me cringe as drowning is one of my worst fears -- then Cameron would dive in, rip Cromartie off, and an underwater terminator battle would ensue! But alas, no.

Riley's dialogue continues to be less than stellar. This exchange in particular was fairly vomit-inducing:

Riley: You know what really creeps me out about these magazines? They all just want to convert you into their cult. It's like... all in the titles. It's Us. And People, and OK. You know some of us people aren't okay.
John: Some of us are popular mechanics.
Riley: Exactly. And some of us are guns and ammo.
John: Yeah, you're more a yarn collector.
Riley: [laughing] You're the yarn collector. Yarn collector. So um... You coming back to school?
John: No. No, I don't think so. My mom wants to, uh... home school me for a while.
Riley: Hmm. Sounds like a good time will be had by all.
John: What? You miss me?
Riley: [laughs] Ease up, Cat Fancy. I don't even know your top ten brands of scratching post.

Umm... really? Yarn collector? Cat Fancy? Scratching post? WTF?

I hope it's just taking awhile for the writer's to find a voice for Riley -- I realize that they want her to be the rebellious and witty and sexy girl for John, but all I'm feeling for her right now is annoyance that her dialogue isn't better, and I therefore cannot, in good conscience, really like her.

It looks like next week's episode is going to delve more into Cameron's story. It's always exciting when the writers give Summer Glau more camera time -- especially because it looks like we're going to get more info on what the hell's going on with Cameron this season.

By the way, I didn't get a chance to comment on the series premiere, Samson and Delilah -- I don't know if I will be able to write an in-depth review or not, but I would like to say that I absolutely loved this episode. Having Cameron revert to her original programming and attempt to kill John was amazing to watch, and his turmoil over whether to destroy her or try to save her was nicely scripted. It was also interesting to watch as John continually disobeyed Sarah's orders in this episode -- I wonder if that's just normal teenage rebellion or if it's his way of stepping up to the plate and attempting to become the leader he's meant to be someday. Maybe it's a little of both?

---Adela P.

90210: Wide Awake and Dreaming

2008-09-25T11:14:00.000-05:00

Recap: It's the night of the school musical. Adrianna, the star of the show, can't handle the pressure from her mother and dopes herself up just before curtain call (anyone know what drug she was taking?). Brenda decides that Adrianna cannot go onstage looking like a crackhead and tells Annie that she must take Adrianna's place. Annie thinks that tonight is the night she's going to seal the deal with Ty, as he's booked a hotel room for the two of them after the show. When Annie arrives, however, Adrianna answers the door in a towel, and proceeds to tell Annie that Ty is in the shower, "rinsing off." Annie freaks and storms out. As she runs into Naomi and Ethan downstairs, she delivers a very emo speech, something akin to "This promiscuous lifestyle might be okay for you guys and the rest of you people in Beverly Hills but it's not okay with me!" It is later revealed that Adrianna fabricated the whole event. She cackles evilly as she pulls open the shower curtain and turns off the water -- Ty is nowhere to be found.

Let me first say that I am so over this weird "let's have a musical!" storyline -- thank God it's finished. It's boring and trite, and also so utterly convenient that Annie ends up landing the star role over every other cast member that's been involved a hell of a lot longer than she has. Also, what's up with the totally lame choreography -- they honestly couldn't think of anything better than having Annie stand on stage, swirling her arm over her head in some weird attempt to mimic an angel halo?

If it's possible, I think that Shenae Grimes's acting has gotten worse. The overexcited hand gesturing, the excessively dramatic facial expressions (if I see Grimes's eyes bulge out like that one more time...), the weird voice inflections -- it's getting to be a little too much for me. So much so, that when I was supposed to feel bad for Annie at the end of the episode, I could do nothing more than merrily chuckle along with Adrianna as Annie storms from the hotel room in anguish, thinking that Ty had invited her there for nothing more than a booty-call. It was probably the combination of Grimes's acting and the fact that Annie was being an utter bitch to her parents that made watching her fall from her high horse very satisfying.

What's the deal with Silver in this episode? I thought Silver was supposed to be the badass that shunned the popular kids? But in this week's installment we see her not only being involved in school activities, but actually making nice with Naomi?! What??? First of all, is there anything that even remotely looks like school spirit in this chick? Why would she be involved with the musical, especially considering that the musical is full of snobby bitches that Silver hates? Considering the amount of commitment that stage managing involves, it doesn't seem likely that Silver would want to be a part of it. And why is Silver suddenly so willing to converse civilly with Naomi when Naomi butts into the conversation between Silver and Annie? I know that Silver told Naomi last week that she wouldn't tell anyone about Naomi's parents' situation, but that certainly doesn't mean that they should be all buddy-buddy now.

My other gripe with the Silver storyline is that we still don't know what's going on with Silver's home situation -- we know that Silver is now living with her sister Kelly, but we don't know anything else. Are the sisters getting along? How is Silver dealing with having a baby around the house? What's going on with their mother? Is there any angsty drama between the sisters, any new rules that Kelly's established that Silver doesn't want to follow? Give me this bit of drama over the high school musical bullshit anyday.

Returning to Naomi -- why was Naomi concerned enough to butt into the conversation between Silver and Annie anyway? I was under the impression that Naomi was supposed to be the bitch of the series, but apparently that assumption was incorrect, because the bitch award for tonight's episode definitely goes to Adrianna. And I'm more than done with Naomi's attempts to fix her parents' marriage -- there's something I really liked about shows like The O.C. in which we were just as involved with the adults' lives as the kids', but the adult and teen realms never interfered too much with each other (there are obvious exceptions to this rule, of course). Why can't Naomi just start acting out -- you know, the usual teen drama of promiscuous sex, pregnancy scares, running away, reckless drug/alcohol use, making everyone's lives miserable? Do we really have to witness Naomi attempting to be uber-responsible and fixing her parents' problems?

And on that note -- I'm feeling the need for a lot more screentime for Brenda, Kelly, and Ryan. At this point I'm way more interested in their storylines than in the teenagers'.

The only redeeming part of this episode was Adrianna's bitch-maneuver of making Annie think that Ty had slept with her. There's a scene during the musical in which Adrianna is looking scornfully at Annie onstage, and at first I thought that Adrianna, in her drugged-out state, was going to do something spiteful and terrible to ruin Annie's performance and embarrass her in front of the entire student body, which I would have been very pleased about. I was disappointed when nothing happened here, but Adrianna's execution of her evil plan at the end of the episode more than made up for it. Unfortunately, I've read that Jessica Lowndes, who plays Adrianna, is not going to be a cast regular. Don Williams, a BuddyTV Staff Writer, posits that "this means...her character will likely be shipped off to rehab in the near future, only to return cleaned up and boring." I certainly hope that's not the case. Read Don Williams's full review here.

My analysis is this: give me more time with the adults, and less time with the teenagers (unless the plots with the teenagers start getting a lot more scandalous). I want more clean-cut characters as well -- Silver the badass, Naomi the bitch, Adrianna the druggie bitch, Annie the drama queen (oh wait, maybe they've at least established what her character's about well enough), etcetera.

And the fact that I can't even think of anything to write about Dixon, Ethan, or Ty just proves how much they need to step up on the guys' storylines.

---Adela P.

90210 - no Rob Thomas!

2008-09-24T07:21:00.001-05:00

A good friend of mine named Adrian sent me an email after reading my blog entry on 90210 and informed me that Rob Thomas left the show awhile ago. I've gotta say, I'm definitely relieved to know that the CW's newest crack!series isn't a product of Thomas's imagination, because I was wondering just what kind of brain injury he had suffered since Veronica Mars to create a show that, while extremely entertaining, is completely lacking of substance.

I'm not sure why all the articles I've read on the show so far still list Rob Thomas as a contributor/creator... liars, I tell you. Liars.

After scouring Google, I did end up finding a couple of articles, but they contradict each other on several points, which is odd considering they were all written on the 15th and 16th of April (yes, apparently this is old news, which is why I'm so annoyed to be notified of this development five months later; grrr):

Also, I'd like to direct your attention to another awesome little critique of the show that my friend Adrian found on dlisted.com:

Naomi Clark Better Step It Up

Thank you thank you thank you, Adrian, for all of this deliciousness.

---Adela P.

Heroes - The Second Coming/The Butterfly Effect

2008-09-23T20:43:00.000-05:00

I unfortunately did not get to watch the red-carpet premiere event just before the show, as I already had two other things recording on my DVR and you can't record more than 2 shows at at time. So sadly, I missed all of the hype and buzz and therefore that wonderful full hour of anticipation before the series premiere -- so if anyone out there had the opportunity to see it, please comment and tell me how it was!

But even though I didn't get to experience the "full" Heroes event, I did watch the 2-hour episode and I've gotta say, it definitely lived up to my expectations.

I only found Maya to be somewhat annoying in this episode . . . only when she talked (haha, just kidding). Now that she's stopped singing Sylar's praises, I'm willing to give her another shot. I was surprised that when it came between Maya and Suresh, she was the one who ended up being the voice of reason! Suresh's hastiness with the serum seems slightly out of character, but I'm willing to accept it, given just how obsessed he's been with figuring out the genetic code behind the powers. Perhaps he's always had a secret desire to be a "superhero" along with the rest of them and we just haven't seen it until now.

The first few moments of the episode were just bloody awesome -- Future Claire fighting with Peter Petrelli? Attempting to KILL him? How did things get so out of hand? And I also have to mention -- wow, Claire is hot when she's evil. (Which is way more than I can say for Peter -- what's up with his hair??)

Future Peter turning out to be the one that killed his brother Nathan was beautifully done, and just very sad. And the powers that this kid has racked up in the future are pretty incredible -- I wonder what else he has up his sleeve.

I enjoyed seeing Claire and Peter interact in this episode, as it's been awhile since we've had the pleasure of seeing these two characters together. Future Claire and Future Peter at battle was fun to watch, but I much prefer the cute, brother/sister interaction later (that is, later in the episode but earlier in time -- if that makes sense), when Peter pulls Claire away from the oncoming train and asks what the hell she's doing. On that note, I'm not sure how I feel about Claire starting to make more videos of herself jumping in front of trains and such. My initial reaction was "wow, that's kind of lame," but the more I'm thinking about it, the more I can understand her motivations, and I guess I'm not completely disappointed in this back-to-the-beginning approach.

The scene where Sylar is stalking Claire in her house? Downright creepy. And I don't get creeped easily. Seeing his reflection in the glass, watching him slowwwly walk past Claire as she's facing the opposite direction... all perfectly executed. The obvious rape metaphor of Sylar subduing her and taking her ability from her was very powerful. And Sylar's parting words -- telling Claire that there's so much she still doesn't understand about herself... is it bad that I found this exchange sort of... cute?

Yes, yes it's bad. I'll stop that train of thought before it gets too far. :-D

I'm not sure how I feel about Nathan's I've-found-God spiel. And on that note -- I think it's really weird that he's the only one that can see Linderman. Is Linderman really there? Is Nathan going crazy? Is he lying about being a devout follower of God in order to get Peter and others off his back?

Seeing Hiro in an office was weird, but watching him bored out of his mind and turning back time for kicks was just what I expected him to do if stuck in an office all day. Still, it's nice to see people showing Hiro the respect he deserves, even if it's not respect for the right things. When Hiro goes into the future and sees himself and Ando battling to the death over the formula, I had to wonder what had occurred between them to cause the rift, and who was on the "right" side. And how did Ando get powers? Did he do some weird injection thing like Suresh did or does he start manifesting powers later?

Bob's death was spectacular, and Ella's termination from Primatech was also really great and, I feel, totally deserved. I did feel a little bad for her -- losing both her father and her job in one day -- but the possibilities as to where her character will go now are just too delicious. And was anyone else ridiculously pleased to see Kristen Bell and Francis Capra (Weevil from Veronica Mars) in the same room again?

I'm curious to see what's up with Niki/Jessica/Tracey, and where the hell her turning-people-into-ice power came from. Also -- does she REALLY not remember who she is? And how did she manage to survive the explosion at the end of season 2 anyway? And what happened to Micah and Monica?

I'm also incredibly anxious to see what's up with Angela Petrelli's declaration that Sylar is her son. Is she trying to manipulate him or is she speaking the truth?

Basically, all of this boils down to "WHAT THE HELL is going on?!" with a healthy dose of "OH MY GOD, where is this going?!"

The only lame part of this episode is when Claire's biological mother, Meredith Gordon, shows up to "keep an eye on things" while Daddy's away. It's kind of a nice touch that she's back in the mix, but the execution was terrible -- she doesn't speak a word, but instead creates a ball of fire in her hand much like she did way back in season 1. It's obvious that the writers are just reminding the audience who the hell this chick is and what power she has, but all I could think as she was doing this was, "Why the hell would she create a ball of fire instead of going to hug her daughter or offering a simple 'hello'?"

To conclude, I would say the season 3 premiere was excellent, and totally makes up for the lousiness of season 2. Other than the minor glitch with the sudden appearance of Meredith Gordon, I didn't see any problems.

And as a side note -- I loved the "Heroes continues... now!" at the end of the first chapter. Very cute.

---Adela P.

Gossip Girl: The Ex-Files

2008-09-23T14:22:00.000-05:00

Let me just say that all of my fears that this year's season of Gossip Girl was going to be utterly lame have been totally dispelled. Why, you may ask? Serena's now officially the woman scorned, and damn, it's good. I never felt one way or the other about Serena in season 1. She came across as dull and sort of fake, and I was never really all that interested in what she did or what happened to her. The conclusion of last night's episode, however, had Serena competing for Blair's spot in my characters-I-love-to-hate lineup. Watching as Dan enters the courtyard and EVERYONE LEAVES is almost as sweet as seeing his "WTF?!" expression slowly shift to realization when Serena saunters past and gives him nothing more than a catty I'm-too-good-to-look-at-you-for-more-than-two-seconds glance. Her exchange with Blair was absolutely amazing -- I love that it took nothing more than a couple of words for Serena to snag her throne back from her best friend, and the subtle establishment of her "authority" over the group -- draping her scarf over Blair's shoulders, the stroking of the girls' hair -- all perfectly placed to expose Serena's inner bitch. And the fact that Chuck was the one who instigated the whole thing? Made of awesome.

I think I'm a little giddy about this.

Other amazing devleopments: Umm... the Duchess and Marcus?! Definitely did NOT see that one coming. The weird, slightly incestual stepmother/stepson thing has just never really done it for me, even for the sake of delicious drama. But that being said, I think I'm okay with this weird pairing, and I don't really know why, but the drama that came out of this little plot twist was simply scrumptious. I especially loved it when Vanessa turned to Blair for guidance at DAN'S suggestion, of all people! (With probably my favorite line of the episode: "Google revenge, you get BlairWoldorf.com.") And then she screwed it all up by trying to take things into her own hands instead of just letting Blair handle it!

The dialogue in this episode definitely stepped up a notch since last week. Besides that lovely quote from Dan, we also have this from him: "We knew this was gonna be awkward. I just thought it'd be more sad-awkward, not competitive-awkward," which actually made me feel a little sad for him. And then this beauty from Blair to Marcus, after finding out that he's sleeping with the Duchess: "You are sleeping with Catherine, right? Or do you prefer 'mom'?" PRICELESS.

When Amanda first appeared on the scene, I knew that something wasn't right -- I immediately disliked her character, thinking that she was slightly pretentious and was moving along way too quickly with Dan for my liking. And perhaps this is MY inner bitch-queen coming out, but my first thought when I saw her was "What the hell is she thinking walking around with bangs like that?" So when I found out that she was simply Chuck's tool for destruction, I was both relieved and satisfied, and now I'm curious about a) who she really is, b) if she will be used again in more episodes, and c) if Dan will eventually run into her somewhere. Wouldn't it be so amazing if Dan DID run into her while out-and-about in Manhattan, and used her against Chuck somehow? I can't even tell you how ridiculously happy that would make me.

I do hope that Amanda doesn't disappear from the show completely, because I hate it when characters are brought in for a significant role in an episode and then turn out to be nothing more than plot devices. Please, Josh Schwartz, bring her back. Does anyone who has read the books know if she plays a prominent role in the series (or if she appears at all in the books, for that matter)?

I felt better about Jenny in this episode -- I loved how nervous she was about going back to school knowing that she had to face all of her former friends, not wanting to finally face the consequences of last season. I felt bad for her when she had to deal with Blair's (and now Serena's) bitch clique, especially when she couldn't handle the pressure and skipped school to go work at her internship for the day (perhaps Queen S will put a stop to the Jenny-pestering?). I also love how she keeps tabs on her brother through Gossip Girl and gives him advice based on what she's read through the blog -- there's just something really cute about that.

My final comment on the episode: I really, REALLY hope that Rufus and Lillian end up having an affair. Is that wrong?

I deem this episode a complete success in every way, and am excited to see if the rest of the season surpasses the low expectations established by the first three episodes.

---Adela P.

True Blood: Mine

2008-09-22T08:50:00.000-05:00

I had high hopes for HBO's new show True Blood -- so high, in fact, that I subscribed to HBO just to watch this series. The hype over this show before it was released was pretty incredible, and the trailers for it had me thinking it'd be something different than the "usual" Byronic vampire story -- after all, what's not to love about vampires "coming out" and demanding their civil rights? And the fury from religious groups is always fun to watch, as well.

The website promotions certainly eluded to the fact that this wouldn't be your typical vampire-falls-in-love-with-Mary-Sue show. When I first started looking into this show, I was directed to the Tru Blood beverage website, which also indicated to me that this weird synthetic blood beverage would be more prominent in the series.

But alas, there's only been one cameo of the Tru Blood beverage, and only a couple of other references to it -- certainly not enough to warrant its own website, for sure. And the show itself? Well, if you combine your typical Byronic vampire story with a Johanna Lindsey romance novel, your result is True Blood.

The show's premise so far is that vampires have come out of the woodwork (no pun intended) because they're tired of hiding from humans, and want to claim their civil rights. A synthetic blood called Tru Blood has been manufactured so that vampires no longer need to feed on human blood to survive, thereby allowing them to assimilate into general society. Bill is a vampire that has just moved to a small town in Louisiana and has become enraptured with an innocent, virginal cocktail waitress named Sookie, who can read minds -- everyone but Bill's, that is. One night after her shift, Sookie is beaten beyond repair, and Bill comes along and feeds her some of his blood. Sookie does not turn into a vampire, but starts exhibiting certain vampiric symptoms, such as a heightened sense of smell and a more active libido. Another side effect is that Bill can now locate Sookie wherever she is, just by reaching out and sensing her with his mind.

There are of course other subplots occurring with the minor characters, but for the sake of this review, that's all you need to know.

The show has not returned to the "civil rights" plotline much beyond a few casual references and some television spots showing interviews and debates between ministers and vampires. The rest of the show has mostly revolved around solving a murder that has occurred in the town, and the budding relationship between Bill and Sookie.

Bill and Sookie are like every other vampire/human couple that we've read about in the past ten+ years. Bill is a brooding, self-pitying vampire that falls in love with your typical Mary Sue -- the innocent, beautiful virgin, loved by everyone in the community, and just generally perfect. The only exception to this story is that this Mary Sue can read minds, but the fact that the vampire's mind is the only one she can't read -- and that the vampire's powers don't work on her -- is just more proof that the story is the same as any other vampire story (Twilight, anyone?).

True Blood is basically like a bad romance novel -- or bad Buffy fanfiction. When Sookie goes to Bill's house and accidentally stumbles upon him having a little vampire get-together, the vampires of course are wanting to feast on Sookie's innocent virgin blood, because "virgin blood is the best tasting blood there is" (next to baby's blood, of course). Bill, being the overprotective vampire that he is, immediately jumps to Sookie's aid, growling in fury at the other vampires and exclaiming "She's mine!" The other vampires then start referring to Bill as Sookie's "master," which she of course gets peeved about.

The vampires are hokey, and the clichés are of course predicable -- being clichés and all. The one redeeming quality about this show, and particularly this week's episode, is when Sookie asks what happens to the blood that Bill consumes. How does it cause his body to function, she wonders. Bill responds that it's by "magic," which resolves all of those pesky physiological questions that we've always had about vampires and how they are able to function, and particularly vampires like those in the Buffyverse or in Twilight. What happens, after all, when Spike eats that blooming onion or Edward snags a bit of Bella's pizza on a dare? Does that food just sit in the vampire's dead organs for all eternity?

Well, True Blood satisfies our curiosity about vampire physiology by explaining it in terms we can understand -- it's magic! And actually, I'm willing to accept that, especially given Bill's next response: "We're all kept alive by magic, Sookie. My magic's just a little bit different than yours is all."

So all in all, I would say that so far the series has been less than stellar, and definitely not what HBO advertised. But I'm a sucker for those vampires (wow, I'm full of the unintentional punning today, aren't I?), and I'll likely push through until the end -- unless the series gets even more trite and ridiculous, though at this point I'm not sure how that would be possible.

---Adela P.

Fringe: The Same Old Story

2008-09-20T20:22:00.000-05:00

I didn't care too much for the character of Olivia in the pilot episode of Fringe. I'm not sure whether it was the character or the actress (Anna Torv), but either way, she didn't win me over. This latest episode was better -- I actually felt bad for her when she realized that the serial killer in this episode was the same killer she'd been hunting a year ago. When she subsequently realized that every investigation she's done that's remained unsolved could have been because she just wasn't looking in the right places, I really did feel terrible for her. I'm curious as to whether she'll actually follow through with this and start going back and reviewing unresolved cases.

For me, the highlight of Fringe is the interaction between Walter and Peter -- the dialogue is just great.

Walter, offhandedly: "Do you have any cocaine?"

Peter, incredulously: "No, I don't have any cocaine."

Alright, in writing this doesn't seem all that special, but if you watch the execution on the show, it's just wonderful. Walter's casual approach to advising his frantic son in the midst of a crisis is hilarious.

At this point, Walter's knowledge about all of the strange occurrences is a bit too convenient. Knowing J.J. Abrams, everything is working its way towards a big ginormous reveal, and the convoluted explanations for things will probably make more sense later when we get more of a "feel" for the show's mythology.

At this point, the highlight of the show for me is Joshua Jackson. I'm excited to see him back on television, even though his character is more like his Dawson's Creek character than he would probably like to admit. Still, Pacey was the main reason I watched Dawson's Creek anyway, so something about the way Joshua Jackson plays his characters obviously works.

I wasn't terribly intrigued with the episode as a whole, but the last few minutes revealed some interesting plot twists that I'm excited to learn more about. Peter's medical history? What's that all about? And the last flash shot before the end -- was that a weird hallucination or a dream of Walter's, or was that happening in real-time?

Nikki Stafford is postulating that perhaps the three bodies at the end are clones of Christopher. She actually has some other really interesting theories, and has picked apart the episode quite nicely. Read her blog entry on this week's episode here.

So although Fringe has not wowed me to the extent that the premieres of other shows have, I'm still intrigued enough to continue -- and the beautiful-ness of Joshua Jackson certainly doesn't hurt, either.

---Adela P.

Supernatural: Lazarus Rising

2008-09-20T18:00:00.000-05:00

I had high hopes for the premiere of Supernatural -- although it seemed obvious, I was hoping that Dean would come back from hell in Ruby-esque fashion as a slightly darker, perhaps emotionally-tormented demon, and yet he comes back . . . normal. Or at least, as far as we the audience (and Sam and Bobby) can tell.

And Sam? I'm not sure what I expected out of him -- perhaps a broken shell of who he used to be? Devastated that he couldn't pull his brother out of hell? Or maybe I was expecting him to be dark, sinister, slightly evil, after having performed all of the darkest magicks to help his brother.

And yes, he did have some pretty heavy inner-man pain going -- when Sam sees his brother for the first time (after determining that Dean is actually Dean) and they embrace, and it's so clear that Sam's about to lose it -- that made my heart hurt. And yes, it does appear that Sam has lost his optimistic outlook on life for good -- teaming up with Ruby, conniving behind Dean's back . . . and yet, still not entirely what I expected.

When it was clear that Sam was not the one who had pulled Dean out of hell, I was wondering along with the rest of them just what the hell was going on, and who had done the deed. At first I thought a big baddie in all its evil-ness had pulled Dean out to bring about some dark end, but when the demons caught sight of the thing that did it and their eyeballs burned out, this feeling of familiarity came over me, and I thought, "Hmm, this seems like it's pulled from the Bible. The only thing that can hurt a demon is . . ."

And wow, was I right. I'm not too sure how I feel about this potential plot -- angels coming down to earth, Dean doing the work of God. This is not all where I saw the show going, and I'm both skeptical and nervous as to how it's going to turn out. (Unless of course it's all some elaborate ploy of the demons' and it's not actually an angel that pulled Dean out of hell. Here's to hoping.)

All in all, though, a solid episode -- I am curious as to what's going to happen, and the reviews that I've read from other bloggers have generally been positive, so perhaps I'm just being overly-critical.

I hope that there is more tension between Sam and Dean in the next few episodes. I hope it takes awhile for their relationship to return to "normal." Perhaps I overindulge in the angst, but it just doesn't seem like things should return to normal very quickly -- Dean should be wary of Sam and what he may or may not be hiding, and Sam should be hesitant about Dean, not knowing why he's been brought back . . . unless, of course, Dean and Sam suddenly decide to actually start talking and "sharing" with one another. But I estimate that it'll be a few episodes before they're actually willing to be straight with one another -- after all, when have Sam and Dean ever made things easy between them?

---Adela P.

90210: The Bubble

2008-09-20T17:48:00.000-05:00

The CW is advertising 90210 as their highly-anticipated, most-watched show on the network this year. (And why wouldn't it be, considering how many times it's re-aired since its premiere three weeks ago? But I digress.)

Let's be real here. 90210 has not proven itself to be good television.

It's crack television.

Yeah, the really addicting kind.

But watching angsty, rich teenagers deal with the hardships of life seems to be the new trend, so I'll gladly follow the crowd until something better comes along.

Watching the main character Annie prance around the stage, singing her little heart out for the school musical makes me giggle a lot, and it only makes me happier to know that 18-year old actress Shenae Grimes has turned into a bitchy little diva, much like her predecessor Shannen Doherty. And what beautiful irony it is that Doherty herself has reprised her role as Brenda Walsh and is readily available to provide bitch-tips to the young starlett, who, according to sources, goes around "tormenting everyone on set" saying things like "This is my show - everyone else is riding my coattails." (Click here for the full scoop.)

It also makes me happy to see former Full House star Lori Laughlin snagging the role of Annie's mom, Debbie Wilson. Lori certain doesn't look any different from when she was working with the Olsens, and I've gotta wonder just how much plastic surgery she's had. Is it possible to look that good (and that much the same!) after thirteen years?

I must say, I'm also very pleased to see Jennie Garth on the show -- I genuinely like her. I've never seen the original Beverly Hills: 90210 (for which I've been severely reprimanded, no worries), but I originally saw Garth on a Lifetime movie entitled Girl, Positive and thought she did an exceptionally good job for a Lifetime movie. I find the storyline of Kelly and her sister Silver to be the most compelling thus far, and am especially curious about how the relationship between Kelly and cool-Lit-teacher Ryan Matthews will develop.

But the reason why I'm most excited about this crack!tv? Did anyone notice the creator?

That's right, Rob Thomas. Anyone who created Veronica Mars just... cannot fail.

Or at least, I hope not.

And actually, the only serious complaint I have against this show right now is about the young teen actors -- yes, they are too skinny. And yes, though it is amusing that Grimes reportedly has turned into Mini-Shannen, that's bound to lose its charm soon.

But other than those minor details, I'm pretty excited for this little teen drama. Because, really, teen drama? There's not a lot you can expect, which means that if 90210 turns out to be decent, it will have surpassed all of my expectations.

Should we all start gambling on when the first pregnancy scare is going to occur?

---Adela P.

Gossip Girl: The Dark Night

2008-09-20T16:26:00.000-05:00

Forgive me if I'm incorrect, but I thought that with the end of the writer's strike we'd see the return of good plot and dialogue in our favorite television shows. Unfortunately, one only needs to watch this week's episode of Gossip Girl to put those false hopes to rest.

So we're three episodes into the season, and already each episode has featured some type of really lame upper-east-sider party that inevitably leads to ridiculous and unnecessary drama. Perhaps we should start taking a poll now as to what type of lame party will be occurring in the fourth episode, as watching rich people fuck each other over during massively expensive and overly-lavish parties is apparently the only way Josh Schwartz knows how to entertain his audience.

The dialogue in this episode was probably some of the worst I've seen in the entire run of the series, with such wonderful tidbits as: "You are not using Blair as sexual Draino!" from Serena, and "I need you to make me feel alive" and "Show me I'm not some delicate little flower. Show me you want me" from Blair.

And let's not forget the always wonderful Chuck: "Have sex with me." Although, to be fair, Chuck's lame dialogue does indeed coincide with what was going on in the episode. But this leads into my next gripe with the episode -- can the writers make Chuck and Blair any more disgusting? Chuck's main goal in this episode is to sleep with Blair. At the end of the episode (during a blackout), Chuck finds Blair alone in her bedroom, fakes an accent, and pretends to be Marcus, thinking that Blair will then have sex with him (statutory rape, anyone?). When Marcus inevitably finds the two together, Blair at first pretends that she misidentified Chuck, but of course it is revealed that she knew who he was all along. Does Blair really have so little self-respect that she is willing to reduce herself to dating/sleeping with scum like Chuck? Especially after Chuck's little "Have sex with me, just once, that's all I need" speech?! Where's my bitchy, self-righteous, I'll-do-anything-to-screw-over-the-people-who-screwed-me-over-first Blair? I never thought I'd say this, but I miss her.

Let's talk about Jenny, now. I'm glad that Jenny seems to have gotten over her "popular girl" phase, but for pity's sake, give her something more interesting than this "I'm an intern for the bitch monster" storyline. I loved Jenny in the first season as the character who was trying desperately to fit in with her classmates and trying to balance who she is with who she wants to be, and finally figuring out that the world she's pursuing isn't worth sacrificing her family and her identity for. So now that we've walked that road with her, can't we maybe follow up on it a bit? Or at least see her doing something besides observing her in her self-imposed indentured servitude?

Now that I've ranted about how much this episode generally sucked, I'll talk briefly about some things that were actually somewhat redeeming: I'm glad that Vanessa was given something to do besides sit idly by in her little coffee shop, pining away for Nate. I do wish that the evil bitch Duchess would have taken her leave in this episode, but if she has to stay, then I'm glad there's now some drama between her, Nate, and Vanessa.

Serena and Dan breaking up was just excellent -- I couldn't be happier about it. And it makes me feel better about the first two episodes of the season, as well. Because let's face it, how interesting would this season be if Serena and Dan actually STAYED TOGETHER for it? Getting them back together for a couple of episodes before breaking them up again actually seems pretty realistic to me, as that's what most couples in the "real world" do -- they know it's not working, they break up, they miss each other, they get back together for a tiny spell, realize again why it's not working, and break it off for good. Let's just hope that Serena and Dan don't become that annoying couple who are constantly on and off, because that will get old real fast.

---Adela P.

ACFR: Against Careless and Fragmented Reviews

ADH III: Autopsy

ADH III: Slaughter

Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles: Ourselves, Alone

Dollhouse: The Target

Dollhouse: Ghost

The CW to pick up L.J. Smith's "Vampire Diaries"

Dollhouse: don't forget to watch the premiere

Stephen King hates "Twilight"

Is it just my bad mood? Or is television less than impressive this year?

Funny Games

Kyle XY: It Happened One Night

Gossip Girl: Gone With the Will

Gossip Girl: In the Realm of the Basses

When the end of the winter hiatus nears...

Joss Whedon and Eliza Dushku

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: Strange Things Happen at the One Two Point

90210: That Which We Destroy

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: Complications

Gossip Girl: The Magnificent Archibalds

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: Mr. Ferguson Is Ill

The Tattooist

Supernatural: Wishful Thinking

November sweeps character death predictions - POTENTIAL SPOILER WARNING

Supernatural: Season 4 the end?

Supernatural: It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester

Grey's Anatomy: Jeffrey Dean Morgan back again

90210: There's No Place Like Homecoming

What's up with Shepherd Book?

Alyson and Alexis are having a babbbby!

Quarantine

Olympic gold medalist Nastia Luikin to guest star on Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl: Chuck in Real Life

T:SCC: The Tower is Tall but the Fall is Short

Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles Renewed!!

TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES… Will Be Back… For the Rest of the Season!

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles renewed by Fox

Gossip Girl, Supernatural, Heroes, Fringe

Dolly Dearest

Castle: New TV Series with Nathan Fillion

90210: Model Behavior and Hollywood Forever

True Blood: Sparks Fly Out

Fringe: The Arrival

Silent Night, Deadly Night

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: Goodbye To All That

Supernatural: In the Beginning

Calvaire

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: Allison From Palmdale

Gossip Girl: The Serena Also Rises

Supernatural -- Interview with Misha Collins

Comparing Fringe and 90210

Fringe - The Ghost Network

Privileged

Supernatural: Are You There God? It's Me, Dean Winchester

Veronica Mars: an old newsflash!

Grey's Anatomy: Dream a Little Dream of Me

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: The Mousetrap

90210: Wide Awake and Dreaming

90210 - no Rob Thomas!

Heroes - The Second Coming/The Butterfly Effect

Gossip Girl: The Ex-Files

True Blood: Mine

Fringe: The Same Old Story

Supernatural: Lazarus Rising

90210: The Bubble

Gossip Girl: The Dark Night