Gossip Girl: Gone With the Will

by: Adela P

Again I'm disappointed with Gossip Girl. It seems to be alternating -- one episode will be really great and the next will be terrible. Or one will be really great and the next three will be terrible. Take your pick.

This week's major problems were inconsistencies, randomness, and ridiculousness. Let's just make a list, shall we?

• Nate suddenly appears out of nowhere for the reading of Bart's will, for moral support to Chuck. He didn't even appear in last week's episode! How does he know about this?


• Gossip Girl reports that Dan might be doing something shady behind Serena's back -- and then mentions Georgina? Whaaaaa? Georgina hasn't even been on the radar at all this season, why randomly mention her now? Sure, there are rumors floating about that Michelle Trachtenberg might make another appearance this season to reprise her role as Georgina, but shouldn't there be more of a subtle lead-in to Georgina's appearance, as in last season?



• Chuck taking over Bart Industries? Bad plan, Bart! And Chuck actually thinks he can do it? How does that song go again? "You think you're a man! But you're only a boy. You think you're a man! But you're only a toy." And seeing Chuck sitting in the office, a half-naked chick on his lap and a bunch of coke on the desk only proves my point -- not that we all didn't know it already.

• Why, oh why did Dan have to open his big fat mouth to Vanessa (who randomly appears for the sake of convenience for the plot, and then disappears again) in the candy shop, of all places? Hasn't he learned his lesson yet? Some things should only be uttered in the privacy of your home, Dan. And sometimes not even there.



• In this episode we see again another case of rich parents disappearing for days on end, allowing their children to run amuck in their stead. Oh, CW parenting. Sometimes there's just nothing to say.



• Chuck finally gets what he wants, and is blowing it -- yeah, he's all angsty and heartbroken and whatnot, but every time it seems like he's finally going to start treating Blair right, he just falls off the wagon again. Stop it, Chuck!



• Are they really singing "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" at the brunch? Really?



• Even someone as immature as Jenny should realize that sometimes you just need to be alone with your boyfriend. That's not such a difficult notion, and it's ridiculous that she would be that upset about it.
  


• Rufus and Lily actually believed that their son was dead? Even I didn't believe it, regardless of the newspaper "evidence." Do some more digging, people. Although, to be fair, Lily is the only smart one in this relationship, and she's less eager than Rufus to continue the search.

It seems that Gossip Girl is having significant narrative problems these days -- I think it has a lot to do with the writers not knowing exactly what to do with the characters. They seem to be making up plots as they go along, episode by episode, rather than creating a plan for the entire series (or even just the season). As a result, characters are left dangling, nobody has any direction, and the plot isn't moving forward in any significant ways. Such is the problem with teen dramas.

As much as the problem is about the fact that the writers haven't given the show a real plot, and have also failed to give the characters direction -- the other problem lies with the fact that the characters lead their own lives, for the most part very separate from one another. They don't have any direction as a group, their identities do not lie with one another, and therefore the characters cannot work together towards any sort of common goals. And again, this is the problem with dramas, and why dramas cannot be studied like sci-fi shows can. Sci-fi shows are typically based around a group of people, whether they are friends or not, and this group of people is working towards a common outside goal, usually one of saving the world from the Apocalypse or killer aliens or something of that nature. The characters don't necessarily have to like each other, but are forced to work together for the common good of mankind, which oftentimes creates significant conflicts between them that are both entertaining to watch and help the characters grow and the plot progress in often unexpected ways.

What kinds of common goals do the characters of teen dramas have? Well, the short answer is that they usually don't have them, which makes the writing of any kind of teen drama on a scholarly level virtually impossible. An exception would be if the studying is extratextual, and considers audience consumption of a television show and the ways in which an audience's perception of themselves, and how they interact in the world, changes as a result of a show.

Wow, I really didn't mean to make this week's review of Gossip Girl into a mini-analysis about why teen dramas suck and why supernatural dramas are amazing. Well, there you have it. We now returned to our regularly scheduled reviewing:

Now that I've listed all of those moments that made me roll my eyes in annoyance (and then some), let's move on to things that I actually enjoyed:

• Lily telling Rufus to stop thinking of only himself. Go Lily! Rufus needs to be put in his place.
• Lily and Rufus hooking up -- finally! I'm liking Rufus less and less these days, but at least if these two are together it significantly complicates things for Serena and Dan, who are a terrible couple. Lily and Rufus holding hands at the end of the episode after they enter the Humphrey residence and see their kids hanging out together really made me smile -- I only wish I could have seen Serena and Dan's reactions.
  


• Blair, Blair, Blair! I love Blair. I hated her in season one but she's really growing on me. I loved how she finally gave up on Chuck, realizing that he was too far beyond helping at this point. Her throwing the flowers that Chuck gave her into the elevator as it's closing behind him was priceless.

My two favorite Blair quotes of the evening:

• "It's so hard finding obedient minions."
  
• "You have no one to blame but yourself. I believed in you. Your father believed in you. You are the only one who didn't. All I wanted to do was just be there. But today when you called me your wife, you made it sound like the ugliest word in the world."